In the creation account, we are made to understand that human being is created "in the image and likeness of God" (cf. Gen 1:26). This expression immediately makes clear what is
distinct about the human being with regard to the rest of creation. It also shows the equality of man and woman before God. Reading further we are then told that, from the very beginning man has been created "male and female" (Gen 1:27). After creating man male and female, God says to both: "Fill the earth and subdue it" (Gen 1:28). Not only does he give them the power to procreate as a means of perpetuating the human species throughout time, he also gives them the earth, charging them with the responsible use of its resources. Therefore, man and woman alike share equal responsibility from the start. In their fruitful relationship as husband and wife, in their common task of exercising dominion over the earth, woman and man are marked neither by a static and undifferentiated equality nor by an irreconcilable and inexorably conflicting difference. In fact, their most natural relationship, which corresponds to the plan of God, is the "unity of the two", a relational "uni-duality", which enables each to experience their interpersonal and reciprocal relationship as a gift which enriches and which confers responsibility. To this "unity of the two" God has entrusted not only the work of procreation and family life, but the creation of history itself.236 However, the way women are being segregated against and underrated in Igboland, baffles anyone who has come across these passages of the bible. In the traditional Igbo society, there are many areas that are out of bounds for women, like climbing trees, watching masquerade, eating certain animals etc.
This segregation extends even to the world of the ancestors, the resting place of the traditional Igbos who lived a virtuous life while they were alive. It must be clear that the cult of ancestors outlines appropriate rites for contact with the spirit world. This explains why they are believed to be part of the family and throws light on why Mbiti calls the ancestors, the “Living dead”. The cult of ancestors does not represent entirely nor replace religion in Africa. The ancestors, as spirits, are believed to be present in the family in a number of ways, at times, as physically reincarnated members.237 This exclusion of women explains why taking titles like 'Ozo' and 'Nze', which is a pre-requisite for anyone to be elevated to the rank of ancestor, are exclusively men's affair. The exclusion of women among the ancestors necessitates such
236 John Paul II., Letter to Women, 29 June 1995, nos.7-8
questions like: where are our dead virtuous women? This issue helps us to understand why, even in this our modern age where gender equality is the talk of the day; it is still “unusual, among Africans (Igbos), to take into account the opinions of women in any given debate. African (Igbo) women traditionally had the function of producing children, looking after the kitchen and doing the farm work. They were not considered capable of producing ideas that would shape the future of the community except as a pressure group but not as an intellectual position as in the case of the Umuada/Umuokpu in Igboland."238
The Igbo disregard for women largely accounts also for the preference of male to female children even among the Igbo Christians. This is because only the male children in Igboland have the right of inheritance. As important as child bearing is, one often hears: “boys are house - pillars and girls are like butter flies”. A male child is considered as the foundation of the family. The male child is needed for the continuation of the family name and history. Girls are butterfly because they get married to men of other lineages. Thus, the questions are: Who will take my name? Who will remember me when I am gone?239 Male Issues continue to perpetuate the family name while female issues take up their husband’s family name after marriage. Gregory Adibe describes the position of male issue in Igboland as follows: "They (Igbo) regard male issue as the most important factor in marriage union for perpetuating the family name. Without a male issue, husband and wife are looked upon as unfortunate. They get on their daily activities in cold-feet. Thus in quest for a male issue they can resort to anything the culture permits because a man without a male issue will not be accepted in the land of the ancestors when he dies."240
238 Mbefo L.N., The True African: Impulses for Self-Affirmation, Enugu: Snaap Press Ltd., 2001, p. 5
239
2010 Catechetical Week Programme, “Syncretism: A Challenge to the Christian Faith”, 3rd - 10th October, 2010, p. 12
240 Adibe G.E.M., The Crisis of Faith and Morality of the Igbo Christians of Nigeria, Onitsha: Tabansi Press Ltd.,
A visit to the Eucharistic adoration grounds or some of the herbalist homes or medicine men will show us what many women who are looking for male issue pass through in Igboland. Simon Anyanwu paints a picture of such agonizing couples thus:
The physical pressure and mental agony associated with it (lack of male child) are usually more on the wives but no less real upon husbands who feel threatened by a sunset of their lineage in the absence of children of their own to hand over the family baton. There is often in such circumstances the proximate temptation for women in such predicaments to begin to go up and down to places ranging from orthodox and unorthodox prayer houses to herbalist homes and medicine men, to reach out to whoever comes their way and dangles a perceived remedy; be it genuine or ingenuine, licit or illicit, including toying with the horrible idea of marital infidelity.241
Women usually bear the blame especially if the male child comes not immediately as expected. They are blamed as if they have any control in determining the sex of the child. Even in this our generation, there is a clear preference for male children even among the so called enlightened men. In fact, it is an indisputable fact that both in the traditional and contemporary Igbo society, women are more often than not blamed almost exclusively for lack of male issue in their marriages. Every married woman therefore makes very serious effort not only to have a child but a male child; otherwise his husband will most probably marry a second wife. In cases where the couples are blessed only with female children, the wives are frequently compelled to put up with many pregnancies in their quest for a male issue. Some women have died in the process while other have ended up producing ten or more female children. There have been many cases of women whose husbands refused to put up appearances at the maternity to visit his wife and new baby after the delivery of their sixth child that turned out to be another girl. Lack of male issue among the couples has made some men to get entangled with extra marital relations or embrace polygamy just to get a male child. The latest development is that some married men who are desperate to get a male child have started getting involved in a secret polygamy. In such a case, a man can have a second wife without the knowledge of his first wife. The second marriage
241 Anyanwu S.O., Igbo Catholicism on the Move: Pangs of Growth and Signs of Vitality, Okigwe: Whytem Prints
is secretly contracted and the second wife may not appear in public with the man until much later in life. In some cases, she only surfaces when the husband dies. Worthy of mention also, are the many husbands who are so rich without a male child who always experience sleepless night when they are old. They always think of how their relations will struggle over their hard-earned property when they die. Some have developed unwarranted sickness like depression or ulcer which has led to their untimely death. It is pertinent to mention that high level of illiteracy in Nigeria has also aggravated the negative perception of lack of male children in marriages. Lack of knowledge and cultural bias has also hindered many couples who need male child from adopting them since male children are available for adoption for those who care.
2.3.3 The Agony of the Childless Couples
An Igbo adage says that if the living trees were roughly uprooted, imagine what would befall dry ones. In the context of our discussion, this proverb can mean that if the couples with only female children are the mockery of the society, then the humiliation of the childless couples would be unimaginable. In fact “the supreme purpose of marriage for the African people as well as the Igbos is to bear children, to build a family, to extend life and hand down the living torch of human existence. The most fundamental of all these is fecundity. Lack of children endangers the life of the community, its security and its future”.242
The travail of the childless couples in African culture as well as in Igboland Nigeria is so traumatic. For the Igbos children are so important that they constitute the uniting link in the rhythm of life - guaranteeing the continuation of the family lineage. Therefore to be born in Igboland means that you are expected also to give birth and contribute to the survival of your society. This accounts for the reason why fruitfulness in Marriage is measured almost exclusively in terms of children. In fact, childlessness is considered a curse among the Igbos as it hits at the very root of the traditional primary value which is life, which every person having received, is obliged to transmit and thus ensure its physical continuity.243 To die childless is totally to be forgotten by the living as well as the dead. John Paul II during one of his homilies in Igboland prayed for childless couples while remarking
242 2010 Catechetical Week Programme, “Syncretism: A Challenge to the Christian Faith”, p. 12 243 Cf. Metuh E.I., The Gods in Retreat, p. 144
that: “I know that in your country the childless couple bears a heavy cross, one that has to be borne with courage all through life.”244
His observation is very correct. Childless couples expend a lot of resources in their search for a child. They may have to go through the motions of consulting a spiritualist, an herbalist, an orthodox doctor, etc. and in some cases without the desired result. Oddly enough, they engage in ritual activities to deities and divinities who they feel are responsible for, or could help them out of their plight. In a bid to have a child of their own, couples backslide in the Church and get initiated in occultism.245 Accordingly, the Daily Post Newspaper narrates the ordeal of a woman desperate to have a child:
I’m middle - aged woman.... I’m a member of one of the new generation churches, and a church worker. After my first son was born over 25 years ago, we stopped having other issues. My husband and I had visited several prayer houses around the country... Different Pastors have prayed for us, and we truthfully exhibited high level of patience, waiting for God’s response. I had met pastors and I had met PASTORS. 40 percent of the pastors we met had made advances at me, even at my age....
After several rough dealings with Pastors and men of God, with little or no results, we tried different health experts and hospitals. Result remained negative. It was getting to frustrating level when a colleague from Cross River volunteered to take me to a man she simply referred to as ‘baba’. Being a strong believer, my husband was against the decision to travel to Ogoja to meet the man; out of desperation, I waved off his objection and we headed to Ogoja on a Monday morning. That was when everything became bitter.
Baba, on presenting everything he asked us to bring, told me that my problem rooted back to my mum, who had sex with my step brother shortly after I was born. The only solution he proffered was that I ‘sleep’ with my only Son to wade off the spirit of my step brother whom he claimed died shortly after mum’s death. According to him, the spirits were still angry that mum committed such an atrocity, hence I must atone their sins. It was believable to me because mum is no more and I had I also lost my step brother at a time.
I returned home and kept this a top secret. I didn’t tell my husband the real problem. It’s difficult to explain how I managed to convince my son to have knowledge of me, but it
244
Papal Messages to Nigeria: A collection of Speeches Delivered by His Holiness Pope John II on the Occasion of His visit to Nigeria, 12th - 17th February, 1982, p. 12
245 Kemdirim P.O., “Towards a Positive Vision for Childless Couples in the African Church: A Post - Synodal
happened. Truly, I became pregnant after then and I’m about to put to bed. I’m just afraid something bad may happen to me.
As for my son, he hates me at the moment. Even in my present state, my husband and I are always at loggerheads. It tells me that something is wrong. I always have nightmares; most times, two men chasing me with a knife. I can’t connect my pregnancy, the dream and my act. Please, Daily Post, I need you to get public responses and advice for me on this?246
This is one out of a million traumatic stories of what people pass through just to get a child or children of their own. If a woman who has a 25-year-old son can surrender to such a horrible mess, I leave it to everybody's imagination the extent of immoral acts that childless couples can subject themselves. In fact, the greatest fear of the childless couple is that there is no one to take after their family name or inherit their property when they die. In the African world, anyone who dies without leaving behind a child or close relative to remember him or pour libation for him is a very unfortunate person.247 Till today making a choice for celibacy in African setting as well as in Igboland is regarded as madness and a costly joke for the traditionalist as well as some of our Christians, from which even Catholics are not exempt.