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plans (to leave the military) until his partner finished her PGCE so that he could support them both financially:
the deal has kind of been that whilst I’m working full-time that I can cover fees and house living and all those sorts of things if we need to, whilst she studies and gets herself where she wants to be and gets herself on a reasonable salary, and then when she is in that position that gives me the scope to leave [his military job] and take a bit of a risk (Tom, phase 3)
Much of the discussion regarding career decisions with Tom revolved around stability for him and his partner. This appeared to be particularly important for him as he felt pressure to financially provide due to being the man in the relationship. This pressure appears to be linked to an assumption found within previous literature that women should still be the primary child carers (O’Neill, Ivaldi, & Fox, 2002). Tom felt that it was more socially acceptable for women to have an uncertain job role than for men:
If she lost her job that would be fine, it would be acceptable because that happens, whereas I feel from both sets of parents, hers and mine, that if I lost a job or a position, it would be less acceptable and I’d almost be less of a man because of it, because I can’t provide. Can I look after his daughter if I can’t hold a job down? (Tom, phase 3)
Tom remained in his military career for longer than he had been enjoying it due to the perception that in order to adequately fit the role of the man in the relationship he must be the main earner and provider. This caused frustration as Tom attempted to balance his desire for a self-fulfilling career against his desire to take on the role as male and provider within his relationship. Due to having already made the long-term commitments associated with adulthood (a stable career, mortgage and long-term partner) Tom found it difficult to change his career path. Ultimately, his desire for financial stability led him to decide against PhD study:
it’s a huge burden on others to pursue what ultimately is an interest, not necessarily a career path, for three years and you’re only bringing in 15 grand into the pot in that year. You’re going to be very tired, working very hard and at the end of the three years you get a lovely bit of paper and a nice ‘Doctor’ at the end of your name, but actually finding a job may not be as easy as it should be for someone who has that capability. (Tom, phase 3)
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Tom felt that during his master’s degree he had neglected relationships with his family and his girlfriend as he tended to work late into the evening and lacked time. In doing so, Tom felt that he had been selfish in order to complete his degree, an attribute which contrasted with how he hoped to be viewed by others. PhD study did not fit with his ideal self in terms of his relationships with others. Tom’s role as a man in the relationship and his perceptions of the responsibility this entailed influenced his career decisions. Tom was therefore focused upon career plans which would suit his own self-concept, but also fit with his partner and his perceived role within the relationship.
Chloe hoped for a traditional-style relationship in which she would take care of the children and the home whilst her partner would be the main income earner. By the final phase of the study, Chloe’s partner had moved in with her and begun a degree in engineering, meaning she was now the breadwinner. Despite feeling the roles in the
relationship were currently untraditional (with him playing more of a home-care role and her being the earner) she coped due to feeling it was a short-term situation. Chloe and Tom’s career decisions show how perceptions of appropriate ways to behave within a relationship are impacted by values and beliefs regarding the male and female roles in society.
Working relationships were reliant upon the partners’ life goals being compatible in some way. Lisa decided not to continue in her long-term relationship as her partner’s life goals were not compatible with her aim to pursue PhD study:
He was like I want to get married in a year, I want to start planning for babies with you and I said well I want to do a PhD and I can’t commit to that […] then it was basically like well you know it’s either the PhD or it’s me. I’m like I want to do the PhD more than I want to commit to you. (Lisa, phase 1)
Once an individual’s goals were no longer compatible with their partner’s and a compromise was not found, the relationship was unlikely to last. The values and goals of participants therefore can be influenced by their partners, but can also influence commitment to the relationship.
To summarise, partners within the study were an important influence upon individuals’ career decisions. As participants attempted to create a life which suited both them and their partner, compromises were required. If students did not place enough value upon the
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relationship, or felt it was preventing them from fulfilling their own goals, then the
compromises were not felt to be worthwhile. Erikson suggests that young adulthood involves a process of searching for intimacy with others with whom their identities are
complementary (Erikson & Erikson, 1998). As many of the younger participants were approaching adulthood it seems appropriate that the influence of partners developed over the course of the study. Individuals’ identities became intertwined with their partners and this was displayed by similar beliefs, values, and possible selves. This is likely to be due to the interdependence within such close relationships as individuals influence each other, with development in one likely to impact upon the other (Lemme, 2005). The impact of partners has not generally been found within previous research on undergraduate students’
transitions, and this is likely to be due to the later stage of life of the current participants.
Peers were primarily a source of support, community and social comparison. The influence of peers differed for the distance and the onsite learners.
5.3.1 Online communities
For the distance learners, online social media was important in facilitating the creation of a community which allowed individuals to feel connected to others in similar situations. The online community provided a private space, away from tutors, in which students could vent frustrations and ask for advice and support from others:
We’re the first group to set up a […] private Facebook account and we, you know, we shared everything from how to do stats to slagging off people, you know, it was really a supportive “get everything off your chest, help people out”, sort of session, which was really nice (Tom, phase 2)
Many of the distance learners valued this social environment away from tutors, where they felt free to ask questions and complain to each other. For Tom, this Facebook group made the difference between an unenjoyable distance learning undergraduate degree with no interaction between students, and a more enjoyable master’s degree. Tom lacked academic interaction with his work colleagues, some of whom he felt reacted negatively to his
studying. Facebook therefore provided a forum with others whom he felt shared similar interests and experiences. For many, the Facebook group provided reassurance that they were not the only ones struggling with the degree. The community became Lisa’s main source of social contact during the writing of her dissertation: