Estudio del efecto de la polarización

Natural Family Planning (NFP) seems to be the Catholic Church’s best-kept secret. It’s not that the Church wants it to be a secret. The message just doesn’t seem to get out. NFP is the licit alternative to contraception, or birth control as it is usually referred to. NFP is just as effective as any method of contraception and it has the advantage of causing no harm to the woman’s body with side effects and complications.

Rather than tamper with a woman’s body, NFP works with it. NFP is not the Rhythm Method. The Rhythm Method is dependant on a regular cycle. Since many women don’t have a regular cycle this method is not reliable by itself. NFP measures and senses the approach of ovulation by monitoring a woman’s basal body temperature, cervical mucus and the timing of her cycle. By charting a woman’s fertile times a couple can know on what days of the month she can get pregnant.

If their goal is to limit family size they would abstain from intercourse on these days.

The Church has always taught that every act of sexual intercourse must be open to life. However, since times of infertility are a part of God’s design, it is perfectly acceptable to have intercourse during these times. But some ask, what’s the difference?

Why would God care if we practiced NFP or used contraception? The result is the same.

Contraception is wrong because it separates sexual intercourse from its procreative function. Thus, sex can become an end unto itself. Making love should never be reduced to a means of relieving oneself. NFP, on the other hand, respects the procreative function. Couples become aware of and develop a respect for the woman’s fertility. Surveys have shown that the divorce rate for NFP couples is between 2 and 4% while in the general population it’s 50%.

Sex is a gift from God and it needs to be respected and used in accord with its design and purpose. Let me illustrate my point with an example. Suppose you were having dinner at a friend’s house. After the main course your friend brings out some cheesecake. You really love the taste of cheesecake but you don’t want the calories. The proper thing to do is to pass on the cheesecake. There is nothing wrong with not eating cheesecake. However, it would be wrong to take some cheesecake, chew it, enjoy the taste, and then spit it out to avoid the calories.

If you abstain from sex it’s like not eating the cheesecake. If you contracept it’s like chewing the cheesecake and spitting it out. In both cases you have performed the first part of what is by nature a two part process. The purpose of food is to taste good and to nourish. The purpose of sex is to communicate love and to produce offspring.

Some couples may struggle with periodic abstinence. But as with most things perseverance produces results. NFP data suggests that periodic abstinence increases passion and revitalizes romance. A study commissioned by the “Family of the Americas Foundation,” showed that NFP couples have more frequent intercourse than those in the general public. NFP also enhances communication. A comparison of both methods illustrates the superiority of NFP.

Contraception Natural Family Planning

1. 97% effective 1. 99% effective

2. Sex is primary focus 2. Relationship is primary focus

3. Dangerous side effects 3. No side effects

4. Promotes selfishness 4. Promotes mutual responsibility

5. Can result in abortion 5. Never results in abortion

6. Can weaken a marriage (Higher divorce rate) 6. Strengthens marriages (Lower divorce rate) 7. Inconsistent with Scripture 7. Consistent with Scripture

8. Costs thousands of dollars over a lifetime 8. Costs nothing once learned 9. Less frequent sex (on average) 9. More frequent sex (on average)

Couples interested in learning more about NFP should contact the Couple to Couple League of Cincinnati (www.ccli.org) or the NFP office in their diocese.

Copyright © 2005 StayCatholic.com

Marriage

In recent years the institution of Marriage has increasingly come under attack. Some consider it to be an outdated relic from the past. Some think of it as an unnecessary formality while still others see it as something that “was created for the benefit of men at the expense of women.”

Isn’t it true, critics will ask, that women are required to vow blind obedience to their husbands? No they aren’t, at least not in the Catholic Church. To begin with the Church does not allow people to write their own vows. Marriage is an ecclesial affair, not a private or personal one. Vows are not to be reduced to subjective feelings or ideas but rather are objective formulae of revealed truth. While there may be some slight differences from country to country, Catholic vows essentially consist of the following:

I, ______, take you, ______, for my lawful husband / wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.

The “blind obedience” objection is based on a misunderstanding of Ephesians 5:22 which reads in part: “Wives, be subject to your husbands.” If we only focus on verse 22 the critics seem to have a case. However, if we look at the entire passage we come to a very different conclusion.

Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives be subject to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife as Christ is the head of the Church, His body, and is Himself its Savior. As the Church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands. Husbands love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that he might present the Church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. Even so husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no man ever hates his own flesh but nourishes and cherishes it, as Christ does the Church, because we are members of his body. "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one."

This is a great mystery, and I mean in reference to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband (Ephesians 5:22-33).

Note that Paul starts off his comments with the words: “Be subject to one another” – so a husband and wife are to submit to one another. However, the manner in which they are to submit to one another differs. In verses 22-24 Paul explains how a wife is to submit. In verses 25-30 he explains how a husband is to submit.

Now it is true that Scripture assigns the husband a leadership role. But this does not entitle him to be a dictator or taskmaster.

Jesus makes it clear that to mistreat others is to mistreat Him (Matthew 25:40). The leadership role that God has in mind here is more along the lines of what the military would call a “Point Man.” When soldiers go out on patrol in a war zone the point man literally leads the others. If they walk into an ambush he gets the brunt of the attack. It is a position that could require him to give his life for those he leads.

Keep in mind that the husband vows to love his wife as Christ loved the Church. And how did Christ love the Church? He healed the sick, fed the hungry and He even washed the feet of His apostles. In a final act of love and humility He willingly submitted to torture and death on a cross so that we, his bride, might have eternal life.

St. John Chrysostom advised husbands to “Love your wives, even as Christ loved the Church… Take the same provident care for her as Christ takes for the Church. Yes, even if it should be necessary for you to give your life for her, yes, and to be cut into pieces ten thousand times and to endure and to undergo any suffering whatever – do not refuse it” (Homily 20 on Ephesians circa 400 AD).

Jesus said in Matthew 20:28 that he came to serve and not to be served. Likewise, husbands are to be servants. You see the husband only gets to be the leader if he is a servant. God gives no man a license to abuse his wife in any way. Indeed the Vatican has proclaimed: "The battle of the sexes and, particularly, the subjugation of women is the result of original sin

A husband’s leadership also includes having the final say in instances where there is an unresolved disagreement. This is necessary to ensure harmony in the family and should present no problem as long as the husband follows Christ’s example as explained above. The husband’s role is not a regal privilege but a necessary responsibility. This sort of arrangement is not unique to marriage. Jesus sets the same standard for Church leaders. In Matthew 20:26-27 He tells His apostles: “Whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave.” Accordingly the popes have referred to themselves as the servant of the servants of God. All Christians are given a similar command in Philippians 2:3: “Do nothing from selfishness or conceit, but in humility count others better than yourselves.” If a man is obligated to have this attitude toward strangers, think how much more this would apply to the woman he has committed his life to.

But what if a husband neglects his duties? In his encyclical entitled “On Christian Marriage,” Pope Pius XI wrote the following: “If the husband neglects his duty, it falls to the wife to take his place in directing the family” (no. 28).

What if the husband turns out to be a tyrant? Does the “for better, for worse” clause require a wife to accept her situation and make the best of it? The simple answer is no, of course not. The Church actually suggests that the two should separate. Once again Pope Pius XI: “For in certain circumstances imperfect separation of the parties is allowed… in order to safeguard the education of the children and the well being of the family and to remove all those evils which threaten the married persons, the children and the state” (no. 89).

A note of warning: This essay addresses the question of marital responsibilities in general terms. It should not be used to justify any drastic action. Such decisions should be made only after speaking with a competent priest or counselor.

Marriage requires a great deal of work and dedication. That is why Jesus raised marriage to the level of a sacrament. In the sacrament of matrimony the couple receives graces which specifically enable them to live the married life. “I can do all things in Him [Jesus] who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13).

Some are of the opinion that couples who live together can be just as committed as married couples? Surely everyone is entitled to an opinion. But opinions don’t change reality. And reality is where we live. On average, couples who live together (cohabitation) fare much worse than married couples do. Sixty percent of cohabiting couples will eventually marry.

Unfortunately, the probability of divorce for cohabiters is 200% greater than those who did not cohabit prior to marriage (Family Institute, Duquesne University). Furthermore, a study following more than 11,000 British children from birth through age thirty-three concluded that "a parental divorce during childhood or adolescence continues to have a negative effect [on mental health] when a person is in his or her twenties or thirties” (Andrew J. Cherlin, P. L. Chase-Lansdale, C.

McRae, “Effects of Parental Divorce on Mental Health Throughout the Life Course,” American Sociological Review 63 (1998), 239-249).

Marriage is an essential part of a stable society. Married fathers are, on average, more committed to their children than are unmarried fathers. Studies show that marriage contributes positively to the emotional, physical and economic health of men, women and children and thus to the culture as a whole.

Cohabiters [who eventually marry] exhibit lower levels of marital interaction and higher levels of marital discord and instability than Cohabiters. Drug and alcohol abuse was more likely to appear among Cohabiters than among non-Cohabiters. Physical aggression is more prevalent among non-Cohabiters. Cohabiters are three times more likely to engage in extramarital affairs. Economically, cohabitation appears to reinforce discrimination on the basis of gender since recent studies indicate that women contribute between 65-70% of the financial resources in these unions. Additionally, women Cohabiters indicate that they undertake an undue proportion of the duties and responsibilities necessary to maintain these households (Family Institute, Duquesne University).

Marriage is about commitment, cohabitation is about convenience. When we consider all of the facts we can see that cohabitation and not marriage “was created for the benefit of men at the expense of women.”

Copyright © 2004 StayCatholic.com