In a patrilocal system and patriarchal family, major family decisions such as sale and purchase of goods, sending children to school, marriage of a son or daughter, and sending daughter-in-law to her parents' house, are taken by the head of the household who is usually a senior male member of the household. In households where there is no senior male member or where the woman is a widow and is responsible for the household, the head of the household may be her eldest son, although he may be quite young and not in a position to take a decision. However, women only take a major decision where there is no grown up male member. In western societies various decisions within a family are taken jointly by both wife and husband, because most families are nuclear families and contain a wife and husband and their children. In village India, however, most families were extended families which consist of wife and husband their children and parents of the husband. Thus a family was usually extended to three generations. In such families major decisions were taken by the father of the husband, or in the absence of the father, the husband himself took the decision. This decision sometimes was taken with the consent of the mother. Thus the active role of women in decision making was almost absent. Some respondents mentioned that a woman was created to obey orders and not to give them.
still taken by all adult male members. The eldest member usually had a power of veto over such a decision. It is shown in Table 3.9 that in Himachali villages not only did men take the major decisions but they also made suggestions to other family members about who should be given a vote in case of an election for any of the elective bodies in the village, state assembly, and parliament.
There seemed little change in the decision making system in the family over the years; however, the only change taking place in this respect is the increasing role of sons in family decision making. In the past most family decisions were taken by the father or the patriarch, while at the time of survey the patriarch himself did not take a decision without the consultation of his sons. Sons substantially influenced family decisions. This change had probably come about because of the schooling of sons. The educated sons were considered not only having more knowledge about the outside world than their father, but were also more efficient and skilled. In this connection it seemed likely that the active role of sons in family decisions was sometimes influenced by their wives. Although daughters-in-law were not consulted by the patriach for any decision, their husbands did seek their advice in many family matters before giving advice to their father. Many sons thought that their wives were equally as educated as they themselves were and certainly more educated than their father and had greater knowledge and were capable of viewing issues critically. An example of this type of decision was mentioned by Raja in the decision to send his son to a convent school:
My father wanted to send my son to the village primary school as he thought that in the convent school the child would be away from home and his education would create considerable erosion on family resources. I spoke to my wife and both of us found that the money we would spend on our child's education in the convent school would be an investment as the child would achieve better quality education in the convent school than he could receive in the village school. His convent education would make him more skilful and his future would
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be more prosperous after that. Thus, I convinced my father and we ultimately sent our son a convent school.
There were other instances when children were taken to the health centre for treatment and to provide immunization because the wife desired it, although the father (patriarch) wanted to provide traditional treatment and was not in favour of giving immunization as he thought that the child would catch a fever after being immunized.
Table 3.9: Percentage of women according to the decision makers for various occasions in the household they were living in Himachali villages, 1988.
Main Decisions1
Decision ---
Makers For Shopping Vote Major decisions
Respondent herself or a female member.
2 (6 )1 2 3 7 (24)2 4(4)4
Respondent with husband. 9 (30) 29 (97) 11 (37) Father-in-law,
husband and male members.
270 (80) 58 (197) 83 (280)
Respondent with sons. 3(10) 3(9) 1 (4)
Depends on the situation
6(21) 3(10) 1 (2)
Number of Women 337 328 337
Notes:
1. One woman did not answer due to illness.
2. Nine respondents had never casted a vote until the date of this survey.
3. Figures in parentheses are numbers.
4. Percentages in each cell are from total number of women who responded.
The above observations show increasing communication between wife and husband. This is a product of a combination of factors ranging from education of men and women, increased economic prosperity, and the provision of space for privacy of couples. The space for privacy is very important for husband-wife communication. In the past, poor economic conditions prevailed and most households had only one or two rooms. Parents used to sleep in the same room with their infants and adolescent children. They had virtually no time to talk or discuss any issue, and it was considered impractical and disgraceful to discuss family policy matters with a young wife, particularly in the presence of parents. It would also label the son as being 'henpecked' by his wife. With the increase in economic prosperity, most of the households have larger houses with at least a room for each couple. Children, except for the new born and very young, (usually less than three four years old), sleep with their grandparents (mother and father of the father). Couples have sufficient time in private to talk and discuss many issues ranging from individual matters to family and even social matters. There is virtually no fear that the old man and old woman (the patriarch and his wife) will hear their son seeking the opinion of his wife. Similarly the couple will not worry that, for example, their ten-year old son would be awakened by the conversation of his parents and would later tell his grandparents about the discussion which took place between his parents.