For Charles Darwin, it was the blush, not laughter, which distinguished man from the other animals.16
Darwin's
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opinions about blushing were very much in line with attitudes that had developed during the previous century and were still in circulation in Victorian times. In the eighteenth century the English developed the idea that embarrassment and blushing are the outward signs of sensitivity to others. They reasoned that it was only possible for someone to become embarrassed if they
were capable of feeling shame, but incapable of concealing it. The English realized, of course, that this could not be said of foreigners. As Christopher Ricks has
pointed out, it was
'part of the Englishman's objection to foreigners that they are "brazen-faced", unembarrassable, and therefore untrustworthy. Especially the French . . . How can you trust a people whose very language does its best to conceal the existence of the blush?'17
The Victorians had an ambivalent attitude to blushing - they regarded it as a sign of sensitivity, but they also felt that it was inappropriate for men to show their feelings by blushing in company. Women, on the other hand, were actually expected to blush when something embarrassing happened. For example, if a young lady happened to be present when a gentleman mentioned the subject of sex, she was expected to show how shocked and innocent she was by blushing. Here blushing carried a double message, because in addition to declaring the lady's innocence it also showed that she was sufficiently informed about sex to be shocked. This double message of the blush - the fact that it admitted what it tried to conceal - fascinated the Victorians. So did the fact that blushing could not be brought under conscious control. The principles of order and self-control were central to Victorian society. Blushing represented a complete negation of those principles and
SUBMISSIVE TELLS
therefore challenged the things that society stood for. That is why people found blushing so intriguing - it showed that genuine feelings could not be disguised, and that the emotions could triumph over reason.
Victorian scientists were fascinated and perplexed by blushing. Darwin himself recognized that certain animals redden when they become impassioned, but that there were no animal species that became embarrassed. Darwin concluded that only humans are capable of embarrassment because only they possess the sort of self- consciousness that gives rise to blushing. This, as he pointed out, represents much more than the capacity to think about oneself: 'it is not the simple act of reflecting on our own appearance, but the thinking what others think of us, which excites a blush'.
Self-consciousness and a concern with other people's opinions seem to be central to blushing. We often blush when we know that we've done something wrong or when we've violated other people's expectations of us, but we also blush when we've attracted the attention of other people by doing something positive. That's why we're as likely to blush when we've been caught out as when someone offers us a compliment. However, it's not just the recognition of our own failures and achievements that make us blush; we also blush when we see other people getting embarrassed, especially when we identify with them closely.18
Blushing involves the autonomic nervous system and it takes the form of increased blood flow to the cheeks of the face, and sometimes to the neck and chest. How blushing actually works is still something of a mystery, although there's lots of evidence to show that it's associated with
THE BOOK OF TELLS
unexpected and unwelcome attention from others. The individuals who are most prone to blushing are those who are most concerned about how other people see them, and who are most eager to behave properly and not do the wrong thing. When individuals do make a social gaffe or say something embarrassing, traitorous blushing often exposes them. Paradoxically, they can usually rely on blush- ing to get them off the hook, because blushing functions like an apology, showing that they adhere to the norms of the group. This can be seen in the responses that blushing evokes in others - it has been found, for example, that people who do something wrong and who then blush are treated much more leniently than those who make the same error but who don't blush.19
Blushing is an integral part of embarrassment, and it's often accompanied by other signs of embarrassment, like speech disturbances and half-hearted smiles, as well as looking down at the ground, touching the face or flicking out the tongue. In this respect blushing operates like a form of appeasement, showing other people our dis- comfort and regret. However, unlike other forms of appeasement, blushing is entirely outside our control - we can't redden our face deliberately and we can't switch off a blush once it's started. That's what makes it such a painful experience for the person who's blushing, and a significant tell for everyone else.