Struggling in the role was presented only in the public hospitals. This is because the respondents could choose not to work in a private drugstore; however, it is harder to leave a public hospital job, as the job gives the respondents a sense of security. A number of hospital pharmacists expressed their experience as a “struggle” or “bored” because they were in situations implying contradictory identities, specifically mismatches between self-identity and role identity (“this job is not for me”), conflict between another social role identity and professional identity (such as being a mother and being a pharmacist), or lack of a sense of belonging (lack of cooperation).
Firstly, there is evidence of conflict between self-identity and role demands. This was observed when pharmacists said that the pharmacist role was “not for me”. For example:
Personally I don’t like a job that requires me to talk to people. That is why I chose work oriented to production. But as quality control is emphasised in the hospital, I also had to give counselling to patients who received cytotoxic drugs. It can be quite stressful, especially when there are many patients (P13).
This pharmacist remained in the role, although she described the role as “quite stressful”. Her additional explanation reveals her insecurity about leaving her current job. As she does not like talking to people, the role of drugstore pharmacist does not interest her. Nevertheless, she has been working for nearly ten years in the same hospital as a result of a compulsory contract and she has been trying to fit in. She further explained:
I don’t think I would like to work in a drugstore because in this hospital at least I still work in the production unit. But a hospital job can be stressful because now I have been pushed to give counselling as well
She continued:
Sometimes I think about resigning, especially because there are increasing demands and workload, but I am also not sure what job I should go for. A job in a public hospital is also more secure (P13).
In addition to conflict between self-identity and role identity, there is evidence of conflict between social and professional roles in some pharmacists. For instance, P09’s account demonstrates conflict between the roles of mother and pharmacist:
Regarding low salaries compared to workloads in the hospital, I have to accept the way the system is. I trade off the workload with security, because the hospital is close to my house and it is my home town. I also need to work in a hospital because I have a child and there is a lot of expense (P09).
She further explained:
Today I left my kid with my mom and I get to see them this Sunday. I miss them. About my feelings now, yes, I did not want to work in this inpatient department tonight. I want to be with my kid instead, but I had no choice (P09).
It was a Friday night when I interviewed P09. She was working extra hours at the inpatient dispensary unit, and she had a baby whom she was still breastfeeding. She was on duty in the inpatient department that day; hence, she had to leave her child with her parents.
The quotation suggests that the respondent’s other social identity, being the mother of a newborn baby, has a particular impact on her professional role. During her rotation hours at the hospital, she left her baby with her parents. This social identity as a mother causes her tension and struggle with the role demands expected of her professional career. The role of a mother is caring for her children, whereas the role of a pharmacist is caring for patients. As can be seen from P09’s account, she cannot avoid being allocated to a difficult situation in which she has to work extra hours. Her struggle is due to moving between social roles which are contradictory in terms of identity; that is, between mother and pharmacist. However, at the same
time her role as a mother also influences her decision to maintain the role of pharmacist, as she stated:
... I trade off the workload with the security because the hospital is close to my house and it is my home town. I also need to work in a hospital because I have a child and there is a lot of expense (P09).
In summary, this group of pharmacists can neither avoid nor discontinue the role because the role in the hospital provides them with a sense of security. Their experience is consequently seen as struggling due to mismatches of identity.
Having discussed the experiences of the pharmacists in engaging with the consequences of the role, it is concluded that there are three types of circumstance: 1) stepping out of the comfort zone and carrying on with the role; 2) stepping back into the comfort zone and discontinuing the role; and 3) struggling in the role. Section 6.6 will highlight the discourses on which pharmacists drew to construct their identities.