Tapping on Specific Events - What Someone
Said
(starts @ 44:10)
Karate Chop: Even though what they said deeply hurt me…
…scared me… …froze me…
…they were taking away my stuff… …my control…
…over my world…
…I deeply and completely accept myself anyway. Even though I remember what they said…
…and it struck me right in the heart… …it twisted my gut…
…I feel it in my body now…
…I acknowledge and respect all of my feelings. Even though they took away my control… …I remember what they said…
…I can hear it now… …the tone in their voice… …the emotion behind it… …even the threat…
…I choose to feel surprisingly calm and confident.
Eyebrow: I can hear what they said. Side of the eye: It echoes inside me still. Under the eye: I still feel it.
Under the nose: Those words were so harsh. Chin: They had ‘threat’ to them.
Collarbone: I felt scared.
Under the arm: And that’s okay. Top of the head: It was scary. Eyebrow: It was hurtful.
Side of the eye: It was mean, what they said. Under the eye: It confused me.
Under the nose: It scared me. Chin: It froze me.
Collarbone: It really affected me deeply.
Under the arm: And I made some decisions then…
…about my things…
Top of the head: …and I’m open to looking at those again. Rick: Take a deep breath. Ahhhhh… (deep breath)
Carol: That’s nice. It’s like saying you’re willing to renegotiate with
yourself. We make these pacts, right? A specific event happens, and we say, “Well, that’s the end of that one!” “We’ll never do that again!” “We’re always going to do this again!”
Rick: And if it happened at a time when we were young, we didn’t make
that decision verbally or intellectually. It was just an energetic, “If I do this, then this happens.” “That happened, I never want it to happen again.” “As soon as I have some control in my life - as soon as I’m an adult - I’m going to respond in a certain way.” “I’m going to protect my things.” “I’m going to hide them.” “I’m going to hoard.” These are not conscious decisions.
Carol: The irony is that the hoarding is to get control back, and of course,
the person feels utterly out of control, so it backfires. That’s one of the energies we deal with around any kind of rebellion, clutter, or
procrastination. You think you’re doing it to get control back because you didn’t have it as a child, and that doesn’t work. Then you’re ashamed, and you have this big charge on the clutter, which actually you are doing so that you have control…it doesn’t work.
Rick: On specific events, I encourage you to take a little time and write out
three, five, ten specific examples from different periods of your life around the things: the clutter, the busyness, the lack of time and attention.
Whatever it is energetically that you have noticed since you have been tapping with us - the shames, the angers, how you deal with your stuff - what kind of emotions come up? What do those emotions remind you of, specifically? They may have nothing to do with actual clutter. It may just be an emotional response that made you feel unsafe. Write them down. Go through them systematically with EFT. One of the ways you can do that, if you’re not working with a professional, I found, is to write them out very slowly, while you tap. Write a sentence. How do I feel about that? What am I noticing in my body? Write another sentence. Take it slowly.
Visualize it with intensity. Hear it with intensity. Then tap, tap, tap while you’re doing that.
Carol: Absolutely. Of course, we love asking, “What’s the downside of
letting go?” Here we are, doing all these recordings about letting go of the clutter, letting go of the feelings, releasing the conflicts that make us
cluttered - what’s the downside of letting go of the clutter? What is the panic that goes through your body when you think of having clear space in your home or office or car? I was talking to someone who said that they practically live in their car. It had everything in it. It is so cluttered that nobody could sit in the front seat. Why? If you cleaned that up, what is the possible downside of getting over - whether this is a habit or from specific events or emotions - what is a or several downsides to it? If you don’t get to that, you’re liable to relapse.
Rick: “If I didn’t have the clutter in my life, what would I have to look at?”
is another way of answering that question.
Carol: Or the upside of holding on - does that chaos or busyness…
Someone said to me, “It’s not chaos. It’s comforting!”
Rick: Ah!
Carol: Oh - interesting! In the same way, someone said to me about
smoking, “What do you mean? It calms me down. The nicotine doesn’t rev me up. It makes me go to sleep at night.” So, if clutter calms you down, if looking at your stuff and clutter makes you actually feel at home and calm - maybe you grew up that way or it symbolizes something - then letting go of it is going to be a lot more than just tapping on the habit, if that’s an upside of holding on. Then you want to look at how you could get comfort in a new way, in a way that doesn’t involve stuff and clutter. How could you comfort yourself? It’s the same way that people use alcohol, drugs, food, or
cigarettes to comfort and to fill the emptiness when it doesn’t really work. It works temporarily…
Rick: What would be even more pleasing? Carol: Right.
Rick: All the things work. I like EFT more than other options for soothing
myself.
Rick: It gives me relief at my fingertips, right there in the moment of
soothing myself when something comes up. Life happens. It happens to all of us. The energy that we have to put into organizing things varies from week to week, especially if you’re travelling, like you mentioned - coming home and soothing ourselves to put us in a resourceful state for the life that we want to live. Ultimately, that’s what we’re teaching here: how to be more in a resourceful state of being so that you’re living a thriving, abundant life - one that gives you the emotional experience that you want with very few leaks. If clutter is a big leak - a big jab in your side - that’s what we’re shifting here, and all the negative emotions around that.
Carol: We work so much with raising your vibration. If some of these
feelings we’ve tapped on, or specific events seem overwhelming, or you haven’t gotten additional help yet, raise your vibration merely by looking at the clutter and tapping. Sitting down, don’t say a word. Tap when you look at this corner, tap when you look at the couch, tap when you look at your clothes draped over the chair, tap when you see the pile of books. If nothing else, just tap to soothe and raise your vibration a little bit, and things will be different. Then you will have the opportunity, because your mind will be working differently. A thought, a feeling, or an event will come to you, and you will say, “Oh - now I know what they mean! Now I can tap on that one.”
Rick: Absolutely. Thank you, Carol. Carol: Thank you, Rick!