A NALYTIC H IERARCHY P ROCESS (AHP)

Cohort two consists of migrants who have lived abroad for 3-10 years. Paola is married with three children; Matteo had recently entered into a domestic partnership at the time of the fieldwork, and Chiara is single.

Paola

Paola is from a city in southern Italy, she’s thirty-eight years old and married with three children. She moved to London in 2006, married her husband from Germany in 2009, had her first child 2011 and had twins in 2014. Paola moved to Ireland with a boyfriend for several months early in university but returned to complete her degree. This experience though, created an “appreciation for Anglo countries.” After completing a degree in philosophy and a masters degree in humanitarian aid work, she moved to Cambridge on a scholarship for English language development, then to London for an internship with a migrant aide organization. As with many others in the sample, Paola explained that she moved without a plan, though she did not want to stay in Italy because she felt the social environment does not support women hoping to build a career. She also explained she was looking for a place that was more cosmopolitan and multi-cultural.

On the map, Paola’s inner circle consists of her husband and three children. The second circle consists of three friends and her mother. She did not include her father who died when she was in her early twenties. As opposed to the previous cohort, one friend (from Germany) in the inner circle is a friendship she made in London, while the other three consist of a friend from middle school who now lives in Germany, a friend she met through a spiritual retreat (not necessarily Catholic) who has since moved to a city in central Italy, and a friend from university who lives in her home city and is an Italian who grew up in a central European country.

In the third circle is her brother, a group of “mum friends” she met through an NHS antenatal class, a neighbor and friend of her husband with whom she has become very close and her former boss whom she described as a close friend and mentor. In terms of relationship type, Paola’s map is the most dynamic, composed of relationships that mix old and new friends, family, work, and neighborhood. In addition, like Cadence, her personal community is highly mobile in that it is centered mostly around those who are mobile or actively support her migration through visits (to London and return visits) and keeping in touch digitally. In addition, the map also demonstrates the highest degree of shifts in relationships since migration. For instance, she explained that her friend Ennio was a part of the second circle, however, during a visit to London he struggled with being open to the travel experience, and since then the relationship has weakened. The others in the fourth level are colleagues in London she was once

close to after migrating, but who have either moved away or with whom she has struggled to develop the relationship.

During her interviews, Paola often described shared outlooks and values as important qualities across relationships. Her “mum friends” she explained are life course based - while she placed them at a high level of importance she described them as “not real friends,” though some are becoming so. When pushed further she explained that some are becoming people to discuss anything with, more than just going out with and talking about children, while with others “well, they could be brexiters”. This indicates the importance of shared values and the depth of intimacy in friendship and not simply friendship based on time. Though these qualities are also important in her oldest relationships as well.

Values are also an important part of her relationship with her mother. Paola explained she has had a difficult relationship with her mother based in part on differing ideals, saying, “she’s very very Catholic” while Paola is not and that her mother, “well she can be racist.” Thus, her motivations for migration and the relationship with her mother are closely intertwined. She described that her mother was not supportive of her migration and in the first years she hardly ever visited London (in contrast to her friends). After getting married and the birth of the children though, their relationship changed significantly. Paola described that “I’m finally a good person in (city in southern Italy) now because of Jack (her husband) and the children.” Her mother began to communicate more frequently via Skype and acquired a smart phone. In addition, she began regular visits to London. Her mother’s role, both in London and Italy, is based mostly on child care that provides Paola and Jack with leisure time (day trips, evenings out, etc.). As with Cadence, Paola explained that she has had difficulties getting her mother to accept her authority with the children over that of her mother’s. Paola and her mother were able to resolve these difficulties, which played a significant role in developing a relationship between Jack and Paola’s mother, enabling further visits.

The friendships in Paola’s personal community paint a picture that includes a strong concentration of migrants, both locally and at various points abroad. As with Cadence, she insisted there has been little change with her key friendships. In practice though, kin ties appear to be taking on a stronger role since her marriage and birth of her three children. While she does visit friends in Italy, it is the relationship with her mother and the childcare practices that affords

time together. In addition, she admitted that visits from some friends to London have lessened, her friends are not really involved with the children, and she even finds it difficult to find time for local friends. Furthermore, there is a strong contrast between her map and lived descriptions involving her laws (at the furtherest level) and her brother (third circle). On the map her in-laws appear as insignificant, and she described them as nice, but that she doesn’t have a strong connection. In practice, visits have become, in part, concentrated on uniting and balancing time between the three nuclear families as well as fostering relationships between them. Since the arrival of children, she described that all of their travel now involves meeting expectations to see their grandkids, which has equated to equally dividing visits or creating shared special events. To make these meetings of the in-laws work, Paola and Jack have had to manage issues as varied as competing roles in childcare to extravagant versus modest Christmas gifts. In addition, Paola showed her brother to be less significant on the map, saying that while their relationship is good, they have never been that close due to different outlooks. Since the birth of the children, though, her brother has also played a more significant role through regular visits to London where he has begun, with the help of his longtime partner, to take on and develop a childcare role that also affords Jack and Paola leisure time.

Matteo

Matteo is from an island in Italy, is forty years old and has lived in London for 9 years.

At the time of the interview Matteo had been in a relationship for one year and was in the process of moving in with his partner. Before moving permanently to London, Matteo completed a master’s degree in economics in the UK and worked during summers in the UK while completing his bachelor’s degree. Afterwards, Matteo completed a PhD in Italy and then migrated to London with his then girlfriend. When describing his intentions to move abroad, Matteo prioritized his relationship with a previous girlfriend, his previous experience in the UK and job opportunities as motivating factors. On a more personal level though, he explained that he hoped to become more open to risk. He felt that there is a norm in Italy to be risk averse, something he felt he had internalized, yet, he hoped to grow out this outlook by moving abroad.

In parallel to Andrea, migration can equally be driven by economic factors, and reflexive personal reasons, as well as the development of romantic relationships that have important implications for migration trajectories. After living in London for a few years he and his girlfriend split, something he explained provoked a high degree of personal reflection and

questions about staying in London. For the first time in his life he was living alone (on a more permanent basis), a situation he thought created both difficulties and opportunities for personal development.

Important to note in Matteo’s personal community is that all of Matteo’s immediate family are domestic migrants. His parents moved from a small mountain village on the island to the island’s largest city after finishing high school. His father has since returned to the village to care for his elderly mother, while Matteo’s mother divides her time between the village and the city. His sister left their home city to attend university in central Italy after which she settled in the north of Italy.

Matteo placed his friends in Italy and friends in London at the same level as his mother and above his father and sister. At the beginning of the interview, he placed his friends in London over his high school friends from Italy. However, as the interview progressed he altered the map by placing two friends in Italy at the same level as his mother and London friends.

Importantly, he linked the development of the relationship with one friend (from high school) to his difficulties after splitting with his girlfriend. At the time he had been out of touch with this friend for almost eight years. They then reconnected via Facebook. After which, this friend played an important supportive role in Matteo’s life that included frequent and often lengthy Skype conversations as well as a visit to London and a joint holiday to attend a wedding of a common friend. In addition, he described that he has many good relationships with his friends in London, a key part of which has been to include them in return visits on a few occasions in order to foster more common understanding of his personal history. Therefore, a key component of Matteo’s relationship with his friends is using keeping in touch for support and stitching together identities of the past and present as developed through relationships.

In addition, Matteo explained that his mother is in the inner circle due to the fact that she has adapted to his life. Contact is based mostly on frequent Skype conversations and his mother’s efforts at hosting during return visits. As with other parents, his mother became involved with his life abroad by becoming more literate with ICTs, as well as travelling to visit him in the beginning of his move. In doing so, she played an important supportive role in his migration through, for example, aiding him in the process of buying a house (both financially and in the decision process). While his father also helped financially with the house, and his father visited

him several times early on, Matteo explained he has become more disconnected from his father, particularly since he moved back to his home village to care for the elderly grandmother. Matteo blamed this in part on the reserved character of his father, but nonetheless drew a clear distinction between his mother and father in terms of effort to maintain contact.

Matteo’s personal community is the only community in the sample where there are no children in the immediate circle. In contrast to several sibling relationships in the sample, there are no children that have generated expectations or desires to keep in touch. In the past, there were examples of common friends when growing up and after Matteo’s migration his sister visited on two occasions that also involved attempts for her to develop familiarity with Matteo’s London friends. After time, however, contact diminished. The siblings now have “long conversations on the phone” every few months and try to co-organize return visits for Christmas or summer holiday though he described the relationship as not that close. When asked about reduced contact he explained that his sister had in recent years begun to enjoy traveling abroad for tourism, something she had not done in the past and that it had become more difficult to organize encounters in their home city.

The lack of children, in part, helps explain why visits to London from family have dissipated and there are no visits between Matteo and his sister’s migration context. Without children, it would seem, family relationships and life course trajectories can become increasingly disconnected. In addition, since migrating Matteo spends almost all of his holiday time on his home island on return visits, where he can see friends and family and spend time at the families’

beach house. This is an important framing process, as he is combining ethical and market economies by using tourism to meet family expectations for return – while also developing friendships by offering his and his families resources. Visits though, he admits, can be very stressful because of his mother and her strong inclination to spend time together and organize his trips home. Thus, while his mother is important, proximity also creates tensions.

Chiara

Chiara is thirty-eight years old, she is single and has lived in London for 6 years. Chiara was born in a small city in northern Italy, where she grew up and eventually completed a degree.

During her degree, she spent six months in the UK through the Erasmus program. She explained that the experience helped confirm her longtime ambition to travel and live abroad. The

opportunity came when Chiara was offered a position in a London office through her job in a patent office in Italy. She moved to London giving up a permanent contract in the midst of the crisis. When asked about the risk she explained her ambition to live in other cultures but also that she felt it was time to move out of her parent’s house and become more independent. Migrating abroad, for her, was a means through which to face an array of challenges she had never encountered.

Chiara returns to her home city every three months for weekend trips. She explained the frequency saying she has had a close relationship with her parents and they are beginning to age, which makes her want to offer more support. In addition, Chiara speaks briefly with her mom everyday on the phone. As with Serena, the relationship with her father is mostly passive. She explained that she is more similar to her father and that their relationship is easier than with her mother due to her mother’s frequent intrusiveness and expectations for further contact. Thus, while her parents are important on the map their relationship can be difficult in practice.

She described not being very close to her sister in the past, but since her sister married and moved out of the house, their relationship improved. She explained they are different, Chiara is not family orientated, loves travel, prefers to live alone, and does not like commitments while her sister is very family orientated, lives 10 min from her parents home and does not like traveling. Chiara described though that her sister visits her roughly a once a year, and that they take joint holidays in order for her to spend time with her nieces. Chiara, however, described that she has made clear to her family that she also wants to take her own holidays that do not involve family. She organizes her travel life around a “compromise” between personal holidays with London friends and visits home. In addition, contrary to her earlier statement that visits are about visiting her nieces, she explained later that she is not fond of children and tries to limit the length of stay of her sister and nieces in London as well her responsibility in caring for the nieces.

Chiara’s interviews showed a strong contrast between the map and lived experiences. On the map, her two high school friends and family are shown as the most important yet are the least involved in her daily life, especially when compared to her friends in London with whom she has an active social life. Chiara described that she wished those in Italy would visit more often as she often feels “divided between two worlds.” Her mother feels an obligation to look after the father who does not travel, resulting in only two visits in six years. In addition, daily discussions have

developed further intimacy but are often more about “checking in.” Also, Chiara’s two best friends in Italy have never visited because of difficulties with childcare and for economic reasons. Thus, Chiara described an unbalanced familiarity with her family and friends that can make it difficult to relate to her friends and family in Italy.

Between her friends in London and two close friends in Italy she explained they have similar importance, but the friends in Italy know more about her past and her history. She admitted though that if it was not for her parents, she would not travel to Italy so often and if she moved back to Italy today she is not sure what relationship she would have with her friends as they now have different lives, different lifestyles and different family situations. Also, as with Andrea, the two friends in Italy almost never see each other outside of return visits. In contrast, Chiara described how pleased she is with her life in London and the ability to spend an extensive amount of time with her friends going to the theatre, cinema, and museums, most of whom are also migrants. In fact, she described them as her “English family.” Thus, while her friends in Italy are shown on the map as the most important there was some tension in the interview trying to explain the level of importance between the sets of friends.

6.4 Conclusion

Migration can contribute to blurring and reconstructing notions of kin and kith by both elevating and diminishing certain relationships, and certain qualities within relationships across categories. On one side, there were some common themes across personal communities.

Important relationships, for instance, are focused around family, older friendships from school or university, or established friendships made earlier in the migration process. While some older relationships of family and friends appeared to move out of inner circles, the most important relationships were all established relationships. There were no, for instance, digital or online friendships that have been the focus of recent research (Germann Molz, 2012). In two interviews with migrants in cohort one (recently arrived migrants), informants were hesitant to put new friendships made in London in the inner circle; they suggested though that these friends were

Important relationships, for instance, are focused around family, older friendships from school or university, or established friendships made earlier in the migration process. While some older relationships of family and friends appeared to move out of inner circles, the most important relationships were all established relationships. There were no, for instance, digital or online friendships that have been the focus of recent research (Germann Molz, 2012). In two interviews with migrants in cohort one (recently arrived migrants), informants were hesitant to put new friendships made in London in the inner circle; they suggested though that these friends were