A relationship is a significant association between or among people. Re- lationships differ in intensity. You may visit your bank, grocery store, and post office at least once a week, yet your relationship with the people who work there is probably casual, at best. On the other hand, your relation- ships with old friends and former classmates are no doubt much deeper, even though you may see them only once or twice a year. Generally speak- ing, the most significant relationships are teaching/learning, business, family, and personal relationships. (The personal category includes both friend- ships and romantic/marital relationships.)
In recent years, much has been written about “dysfunctional” rela- tionships. Dysfunctional is a fancy word for “troubled.” The number of troubled relation- ships seems to be increasing, and if that is the case, a likely reason is that self-help books, arti- cles, and tapes have emphasized putting self above others. They urge us to “look out for num- ber one,” to be assertive about our rights, and to resist being taken advantage of by others.
Such advice contains an element of truth. It is possible to be so concerned about other peo- ple that we do ourselves a disservice. Some individuals give up their own hopes and dreams in order to please a selfish, overly demanding parent. Others allow themselves to be taken advantage of by their children or shamelessly overworked, underpaid, and even harassed by their employers. In such cases, the advice to stand up for oneself is good advice. But that ad- vice is definitely not appropriate for people who
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Do an Internet search using the search term “community outreach [name of your city and state]”; for example, use “community outreach Boston MA.” Examine the websites your search produces, noting programs that address problems that interest you. On a separate sheet of paper, write a brief description of each of those problems and be prepared to share your descriptions in class.
Thinking critically about relationships
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THE STORY OF OPRAH WINFREY
Sages have always taught that hardship and suffering need not conquer us but can, instead, inspire us to achieve. There is no bet- ter example of that wisdom than the life of Oprah Winfrey. Born out of wedlock and molested as a child by a cousin, an uncle, and a friend of her family, by age 13 she became so rebellious that she was sent to a detention home. However, no beds were available, and Winfrey went to live with her father, whom she recalls as “not accept[ing] anything less than what he thought was my best.” His strict discipline succeeded in bringing out her exceptional talent.
Since she got her first broadcasting job at age 17, Winfrey’s life has been a series of achievements. In 1984 she began hosting “AM Chicago”; in 1985 the show was renamed “The Oprah Winfrey Show”; and by 1986 it was the number one syndicated talk show in America. Since then the show has remained at the top of the TV ratings. She has won Oscar and Golden Globe nominations for her act- ing role in The Color Purple, and critical acclaim for her role in Native Son. She became the first woman to own and produce her own talk-show. She founded a successful magazine and book club. Time magazine named her one of the most influential people of the twentieth century.
Oprah Winfrey’s contributions to society have gone far beyond having a televi- sion show. She has been active in the movement to keep children safe from pred- ators and has given millions of dollars to education and leadership programs in this country and around the world.
Winfrey credits her success to education and to being honest with herself. Although she is “the first African-American woman to become a billionaire,” and remains one of the wealthiest women in the world, her life and work are not about making money. She says that “money has never been the focus. . . . I would do this job, and take on a second job to make ends meet if nobody paid me. Just for the opportunity to do it.” Her real mission in life is to help people change their lives for the better. And her central message is, “It doesn’t matter who you are, where you come from. The ability to triumph begins with you. Always.”
For more about Oprah Winfrey, see www.achievement.org/autodoc/page/ win0bio-1.
good thinking!
are so absorbed in themselves and their rights that they ignore other people’s rights. Such people need to give less attention to asserting their
Responsibility is an important ingredient in relationships. For exam- ple, teachers are responsible for making lessons clear and challenging, offering constructive criticism, and testing and grading fairly. Students, in turn, are responsible for completing assignments on time, paying attention in class, and accepting criticism graciously and thoughtfully. Similarly, friends and family members have the mutual responsibility of giving support, encouragement, and loyalty, as well as consolation in times of sorrow.