sadness from one generation to the next - breaking the cycle
The following quote is powerful and relevant for our times. It's about taking responsibility and forgiveness; and not using our past as an excuse. And striving to be grown-up - especially in our responsibility towards the next generation, irrespective of our own experiences.
"I have heard many stories about parents who have hurt their children so much, planting many seeds of suffering in them. But I believe that the
parents did not mean to plant those seeds. They did not intend to make their children suffer. Maybe they received the same kind of seeds from their
parents. There is a continuation in the transmission of seeds, and their father and mother might have gotten those seeds from their grandfather and
grandmother. Most of us are victims of a kind of living that is not mindful, and the practice of mindful living, of meditation, can stop these kinds of suffering
and end the transmission of such sorrow to our children and grandchildren.
We can break the cycle by not allowing these kinds of seeds of suffering to be transmitted to our children, our friends, or anyone else." (Thich Nhat Hanh, Zen Buddhist author, from 'Peace is Every Step' - this quote is a wonderful antidote for the desperation of Larkin's 'This Be The Verse' on the same subject of parental effects on children. Both quotes are excellent illustrations
for Transactional Analysis, as is the wonderful Person Who Had Feelings story.)
"I shall tell you a great secret, my friend. Do not wait for the last judgement.
It takes place every day." (Albert Camus, writer and philosopher, 1913-60, from 'La Chute', meaning 'The Fall', 1956.)
"Some men see things as they are and ask 'why?'; I dare to dream of things that never were and ask 'why not?'." (commonly attributed to Bobby Kennedy because when he used it he failed to credit the actual originator, George Bernard Shaw.)
"Make your heart like a lake, with calm, still surface, and great depths of kindness." (Lao Tzu, ack JH)
"Instead of making others right or wrong, or bottling up right and wrong in ourselves, there's a middle way, a very powerful middle way... Could we have no agenda when we walk into a room with another person, not know what to say, not make that person wrong or right? Could we see, hear, feel other people as they really are? It is powerful to practice this way... true communication can happen only in that open space." (Pema Chodron, Buddhist nun who runs Gammpo Abbey retreat in Nova Scotia - thanks CB)
"What is the world full of? It is full of things that arise, persist, and cease.
Grasp and cling to them, and they produce suffering. Don't grasp and cling to them, and they do not produce suffering." (Ajahn Buddhadasa - thanks CB)
"Courage is not the towering oak that sees storms come and go; it is the fragile blossom that opens in the snow." (Alice Mackenzie Swaim - thanks CB)
"I would rather be ashes than dust! I would rather that my spark should burn out in a brilliant blaze than it should be stifled by dry-rot. I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet. The function of man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days trying to prolong them. I shall use my time." (Jack London, Ack CB)
"Each friend represents a world in us, a world not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born." (Anais Nin, French-born American writer, 1903-1977, Ack CB)
"Success is not the result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire." (Fred Shero, Philadelphia Flyers and New York Rangers hockey coach - Ack P Ho. This is a metaphor for taking responsibility for motivating yourself, rather than waiting for it to happen, which it won't unless you make it.)
"Fantastic things happen - to the way we feel, to the way we make other people feel. All this simply by using positive words." (Professor Leo F Buscaglia, teacher, writer and humanitarian, 1924-1998)
"It's not enough to have lived. We should be determined to live for
something. May I suggest that it be creating joy for others, sharing what we have for the betterment of personkind, bringing hope to the lost and love to the lonely." (Leo F Buscaglia)
"Ninety per-cent of what we worry about never happens, yet we worry and worry. What a horrible way to go through life! What a horrible thing to do to your colon!" (Leo F Buscaglia, thanks Wayne)
"We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are." (Anais Nin, French-born American writer 1903-77. Ack Ray Dodd - the quote appears in his book 'The Power Of Belief')
"(You have a choice as to whether) you are either part of the steam roller or part of the road." (unknown - ack TW - aphorism/argument for adopting a new idea, adapting to change, or contributing to performance improvement, rather like Eldridge Cleaver's wonderful quote "If you're not part of the
solution..."
"The stone age didn't end because they ran out of stones." (unknown, ack TW)
"If your enemy turns to flee, give him a silver bridge." (Spanish proverb, in Spanish: "A enemigo que huye puente de plata.")
"We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is within it - and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove lid again - and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one any more." (Mark Twain, 1835-1910, American author and commentator, aka Samuel L Clemens)
"To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom." (Bertrand Russell, 1872-1970)
"Many highly intelligent people are poor thinkers. Many people of average intelligence are skilled thinkers. The power of a car is separate from the way a car is driven." (Edward de Bono, b.1933, British psychologist, writer and
expert on thinking.)
"Character building begins in our infancy, and continues until death." (Eleanor Roosevelt, 1884-1962, US humanitarian and wife of President Franklin D Roosevelt.)
"No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent." (Eleanor Roosevelt, 1884-1962, US humanitarian) See Transactional Analysis, of which a helpful principle and related maxim is "Suffering is optional." (ack Anita Mountain)
"With every willing pair of hands comes a free brain." (Unknown, Ack KN)
"Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed." (Mark Twain)
"Always do the right thing. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest." (Mark Twain)
"If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything." (Mark Twain - Thanks IM for these three Twain quotes)
"No-one ever listened themselves out of a job." (Calvin Coolidge, US President. Ack JC)
"There is none so blind as those who will not listen." (William Slater)
"In the midst of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer." (Albert Camus, 1913-1960, French author & philosopher)
"Too many have dispensed with generosity in order to practice charity."
(Albert Camus)
"We seldom confide in those who are better than we are." (Albert Camus, from La Chute, 1956)
"You cannot acquire experience by making experiments. You cannot create experience. You must undergo it." (Albert Camus)
"Do not walk behind me, I may not lead. Do not walk in front of me, I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend." (attributed to Albert Camus)
"People ask the difference between a leader and a boss.... The leader works in the open, and the boss in covert. The leader leads and the boss drives."
(Theodore Roosevelt)
"The marksman hitteth the target partly by pulling, partly by letting go. The boatsman reacheth the landing partly by pulling, partly by letting go."
(Egyptian proverb)
"No man is fit to command another that cannot command himself." (William Penn)
"Take what you want. And then pay." (Aztec proverb, apparently..)
"Difficulty is not an obstacle, it is merely an attribute". (Wal Sakaluk)
"If it's hard to do, then you're doing it wrong." (Lynn Doolan)
"We cannot solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them." (Albert Einstein)
"The true voyage of discovery lies not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes." (Marcel Proust. Thanks Robert Vázquez Pacheco)
"Despise violence. Despise national vanity and selflove. Protect the territory of conscience." (Susan Sontag. Thanks RVP)
"The future's already here; it just isn't evenly distributed." (William Gibson, science fiction writer)
"We are born princes and the civilizing process makes us frogs". (Eric Berne.
Thanks CB)
"Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind." (Rudyard Kipling. Thanks CB)
"Good management consists of showing average people how to do the work of superior people." (John D Rockerfeller, 1839-1937, US oil magnate and philanthropist. The judgemental description of some people being 'average' should not distract from the essential principle that good managers help other people to do great things.)
"It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit." (Harry S Truman, 1884-1972, US President)
"I not only use all the brains I have, but all I can borrow." (Woodrow Wilson)
"Before you speak, ask yourself: Is it kind, is it necessary, is it true, does it improve on the silence?" (Shirdi Sai Baba, Indian saint thanks Carole Byrd)
"Don't tell my mother I'm in politics: she thinks I play the piano in a whorehouse." (Mark Twain, 1835-1910, American writer and journalist)
if you are not part of the solution...
A saying that appears on countless office walls, and is often used by
managers and leaders when trying to encourage someone or a group with a negative view based on blame and the past, to adopt a positive view based on action and the future.
"If you're not part of the solution you must be part of the problem."
(The commonly used maxim is probably based on the original quote: "What we're saying today is that you're either part of the solution, or you're part of the problem..." by Eldridge Cleaver 1935-98, founder member and
information minister of the Black Panthers, American political activist group, in a speech in 1968. (Thanks RVP for the Cleaver reference.)
"What should it profit a man if he would gain the whole world yet lose his soul." (The Holy Bible, Mark 8:36)
"A dream is just a dream. A goal is a dream with a plan and a deadline."
(Harvey Mackay, thanks Brad Hanson)
"Form follows function." (Louis Henri Sullivan, American architect, 1856-1924)
"I strive to be brief, and I become obscure." (Horace, Roman poet, 65-8 BC.
If you are a person who prefers to take time, and to be detailed and careful, don't be forced into hasty superficial ways. The world needs care and detail, especially for critical things, not least saving us all from the reckless actions of knee-jerking 70%-style leaders.)