History of Sex
Many ancient peoples viewed the body as a temple to be joyfully cleansed with water. The Hebrew word mikveh means "gathering of the waters." The mikveh in Jewish tradition is used as both a symbolic ritual and a practical method to cleanse a woman's physical body for romance and sexual relations and to mark pivotal moments in her life. For instance, before a traditional Jewish wedding, the bride has a mikveh where she is bathed and ceremonially blessed by her close female family and friends. A Jewish man traditionally uses the purifying bath as a way to cleanse himself of worldly concerns and prepare for the weekly Sabbath, which he views as the time to express gratitude to God for his material blessings and to make love with his wife.
During Biblical times, it was believed that by spending time engaged in bathing with groups of the same sex, men and women strengthened their collective male and female vigor so that when reunited with their spouses, they were better partners and lovers. In modern times, the bathing ritual has enjoyed a comeback as a rite for personal renewal and bonding within couples. For many couples, it is being enthusiastically enjoyed as a foreplay ritual before lovemaking. Here are some ways to adapt this ancient ritual for your modern sex life.
Gathering of the Waters—Make It Your Own
involved in the traditional mikveh: cleansing your bodies, letting go of everyday concerns, celebrating the moment, deepening your connection with your lover and renewing your desire for sex. To take advantage of this incredible ceremony, plan a bath for the two of you in your own bathtub or in a backyard spa. Take heart that you don’t need an over-sized tub or Jacuzzi for your ceremony. In fact, a smaller tub may actually be preferable because it lets you and your lover get even closer to each other. Wherever your “gathering of the waters” ritual takes place, it will help to put you and your lover at ease physically, inspire romance and renew your sexual excitement.
Make Time
Schedule your bathing ritual as a weekly event or to mark pivotal key moments, such as date night, anniversaries or a renewal of your intimate commitment. Be available to let go —if you have a pressing deadline or some other unresolved issue, it is probably not the right time. Clear your desk so you’re free to enjoy this love ritual in the water.
Make Your Bath Beautiful
Enhance the beauty of your space for the bathing ritual in a way that soothes and inspires you. Add flower petals or light candles to create a romantic ambience, or keep the space completely bare so the focus is solely on you and your lover. You may want to have music playing in the background, such as sultry songs like Marvin Gaye’s “Sexual Healing” or Carla Bruni’s “L’amour”.
Each person enters the ritual naked. Remove all clothing, makeup, hair gel, lotions, jewelry, watches and eyeglasses. There should be nothing between your body and the purifying waters. If possible, shower together first to cleanse your bodies, before proceeding to the bath. Soap each other up and lather your lover’s hair. Then watch as your lover seductively rinses it out. Use a mesh sponge to massage the soap into your lover’s neck, back, shoulders, arms, breasts, belly, hips and inner thighs. The sexy, tingling sensations produced from the scrub will ignite arousal in your body from head to toe. Then rinse away the soap from each other’s bodies.
You may also want to take this moment to kneel down in front of your lover as if you were at the alter of a temple and taste the wetness of your lover’s vagina or penis with your tongue as the water rains down over the two of you. If you do, you may not make it to the next stage of the bathing ritual and decide to take your lover right here—an
excellent option. But if you have the willpower to complete the bathing ritual together, it will be worth it.
Submerge Yourself Into Your Sexy Bath
To begin, step into the ritual water and immerse your whole body. Face each other and open your legs to each other. You may want to wrap them around your lover or extend one leg to either side of your lover and place your feet against the bathtub behind them. This sensational position literally opens you up to each other sexually. It will also offer you a natural moment to meet each other heart to heart and eye to eye during this ritual. As you let the warm water envelop your body, let go of what is weighing on your mind by massaging each other’s temples sensually. Let go of what is weighing on your heart by
leaning back against the bathtub and letting out a sigh “ahhh”. Let go of what is weighing on your body by giving each other a teasing foot rub. While rubbing each other’s squeaky clean feet, you may want to celebrate this moment of togetherness by serenading your lover to express how you feel about them. If singing isn’t your best talent, perhaps slip their toes into your mouth and alternate sucking and nibbling on them to show them how you feel. For many people, the toes are highly sensitive and these irresistible lovebites will cause a stirring in the erogenous zones as you take this sexy celebration to the next level.
Throughout this erotic ritual, try to remain leaning back against the tub rather than clutching each other closely in a passionate embrace. Try to resist kissing each other and concentrate instead on holding your lover’s gaze the entire time. This idea may sound like it would take the fun out of the ritual, but it can actually heighten your desire, stir erotic sensations and increase your connection.
While leaning back, reach out to caress your lover, connecting with them on both an emotional and physical level. Men, let your hands massage her ankles, calves, knees and sensitive inner thighs before exploring her genitals with your fingers. Insert your middle finger into her vagina and massage her G-spot by making a “come hither” motion while you press your thumb against her clitoris. This sexy move will get her juices flowing and will renew her desire for intercourse, one of the goals of the traditional bathing ritual. Women, place your hands on either side of the tub and raise yourself up so you can lower down onto his penis, then lean back again as far as is comfortable for him.
Perform gentle pelvic tilts to build sexual excitement. As you tilt your pelvis upward, contract the muscles within your vagina (the same muscles you would use to stop the
flow of urine) to tighten the grip on his penis. As you release the tilt, relax your muscles. Keep contracting and relaxing your muscles to produce an amazing pulsating sensation for him. This amazing move will spark his sexual vigor, which is another goal of the ancient bathing ceremony.
Men if you have your feet against the bath behind your lover, lift your hips and use your legs to move yourself in and out of her vagina, increasing and slowing the speed of your thrusting in intervals. Remember to continue looking into your lover’s eyes as you bring your bodies towards each other and then pull them away. Women love this eye lock because it intensifies the emotional connection, and men find it incredibly erotic when a woman is confident enough to hold his gaze during intercourse.
Another benefit of this bathing ritual is that the soothing water around you can add a relaxing element to your lovemaking, encouraging you both to take it slowly. This can lead to a lengthier sex session that is ultimately more satisfying for you both. After you’ve both reached sexual ecstasy, you can both relax back into the bath for more meaningful intimacy.
Their Story: Renewal for Relationship
Lynn felt drawn to the bathing ritual of mikveh even before she and her husband Sam came up with a plan to mark 35 years of marriage by renewing their vows. Based on her exciting upcoming renewal ceremony, Lynn decided to prepare herself by going to a traditional mikvah. She would invite several women friends to accompany her. Lynn wanted to cleanse and to let go of any disappointments that had occurred over the life of her marriage and really open up and celebrate this new era for their relationship. Lynn’s
friends helped prepare the setting by lighting candles around the mikveh water sanctuary. Lynn then entered the sanctuary and submerged into the "sacred pool." The women then gathered around the pool and played their guitars and sang beautiful songs serenading and honoring Lynn in the celebration of her ritual. Lynn says her mikveh was an amazing and valuable experience. It allowed her to arrive for her renewal of wedding vows ready to meet Sam with a clear mind, an open heart and a refreshed body. How romantic!