Administración de Talento Humano

Grabs

A grab is the term I use to describe when thoughts unrelated to the one you are already talking about pop into your head. You need to work past the idea that one topic needs to relate to or logically follow on from another. You need to grab a thought the moment it comes into you head and work it into your conversation to continually ride the wave of interest. The grab is not so much a process but rather a few lines you can use to fluidly integrate the new topic of conversation into the one you are having, or to end the current topic whilst they are still interested in it. Perhaps the target had a story they wanted to tell you, perhaps they were in the middle of discussing a topic and wanting to reach a conclusion, it does not matter.

Ending these topics will cause the other party to be politely frustrated. This is a good frustration, it means that deep down within them they have this urge to finish what they were saying, it makes them want to keep you there longer and keeps them more motivated to talk to you.

An example of grab may be saying: “That reminds me of….”

“Have you ever…” “The last time I….” “It’s like when you…”

Even if the grab insinuates that the two topics are related, their real purpose lies in them being figures of speech; commonly used phrases that are so prevalent within society that the literal meaning no longer is adhered to.

I trained my brain to use grabs on people that I am comfortable with so my nerves did not give me a mental blank.

Remember that every PUA will get nervous or anxious when they talk to someone they are unbelievably attracted too, the only reason they are successful is that they learn to manage their emotions. Practicing any PUA tactic on people you are comfortable with first will help it seem more natural when you do it in set. Here is an example:

Name: Vanessa

Age: 32

Location: Bus Stop

what did you do today?

I went to work then went home to crash out

things are busy ey?

not really, it’s just this bitch at work keeps loafing on her duties and I end up having to deal with all her responsibilities at the last minute that reminds me of when my brother used to never wash the dishes at home (grab), they could seriously be sitting there for 2 weeks rotting and you know if you clean them up once it will just set the precedent that you will always be the one to do them. It made me so frustrated. My neck would tense, I’d grind my teeth and work myself up so much that I used to get this tightness across my chest (emotive language)

my dad is like that, leaves everything to the last minute and only the motivation of my Mum getting angry or some deadline at work will get him off his ass

I hate deadlines, they make me so happy not be at school anymore. They’re these intangible dates that give you very tangible stress. Although I have to say I miss that time of not having all my responsibilities scheduled out for me. At least I knew what I was dealing with

exactly, at work and even at home its like all this shit that can’t be forecasted or predicted just pops up at the most inopportune times

when it rains it pours (figure of speech)

so true, last week I had 20 songs to produce in a week, deal with the landlord…oh he’s such an asshole, yesterday he came over like “You’re two weeks late on rent I’m going to have to kick you out”. I told him he was kind of cute and got him inside to talk about it and made him a drink. Anyhow so just as he was leaving I thought screw this and grabbed his shirt so he was only an inch away from my face…

(interrupting just before the story’s climax): you should just save up and buy a place. You realize your rent money is paying for his mortgage anyhow; make it pay for your own.

Realize what is happening here in my last comment, I cut her off from finishing her story just as it was getting exciting. Sure I wanted to hear the end of it but she was more eager to tell me about it than I was to listen to it. She volunteered the story to me. I did not ask for it. Even if I was interested in the story’s end I can just ask her about it in 10 minutes time. The point is that she now wants to tell me something. She needs me to stay in the conversation; the tables have turned.

Notice how when I used the grabs on Vanessa they barely related to what the previous topic was about. Within 5 minutes of conversation Vanessa and I covered: • Work • Laziness • Anxiety • Family • Deadlines • School • Stress • Work • Landlords • Home owning

Ten topics all that are not totally interesting within themselves yet they maintained an interesting conversation when used in close succession to each other. Many modern TV shows are based on the same principles as grabs. Seinfeld and The Simpsons are two of the most successful shows ever made and relied primarily on having multiple storylines in one episode.

Each topic automatically brings with it different emotions that both parties feel when they discuss any one of the issues mentioned.

This is important for creating rapport. Making your woman feel a wide variety of emotions when she is with you will make her feel like she knows you better. Creating comfort with her will see her less likely to feel cheap if she sleeps with you.

Soe’s Tip: T uses grabs with me all the time. It works because I am naturally less talkative than he is. If you change topics too regularly to bring the focus back onto yourself it appears that you do not give a shit about what we are saying. You are only talking to us to talk about yourself. It will not feel as if you are listening, rather just waiting for your turn to speak. Of course you are interested in what we have to say, and grabs are truly great tools to use, however in T’s conversation with Vanessa I felt it was overused. Definitely use grabs…in moderation.

Fluency

Before I mentioned how I never felt canned openers worked for me, they always felt strange. So I thought I would head solo to my local Mecca of hot women (my favorite retail outlet) and try to work on my fluency and general banter skills.

What I discovered was that to more easily get to the hook point in a conversation you should ask a question that is already two steps down the line.

Take this situation with one of the shop assistants:

You can tell how into you she is from signs she shows, called indicators of interest (IOIs). These can be anything positive that she does. This can involve asking you something about yourself, touching you, kissing you or even the way she holds her body language.

Name: Chrissy

Age: 18

Location: Retail Outlet

how long have you been working here? about 6 months

not really

people can be tough ey? Really unfriendly yeh... anyhow, would you like this in a medium? BLOW OUT, not good.

Now here’s when I tried it on another attendant asking questions that you usually would only say 15 minutes further into the conversation.

Name: Amanda

Age: 25

Location: Retail Outlet

how long have you been working here? 9 months or so

ever had one of those people who wear something, break it and then try to return it and “swear on their life” that it never left the bag? I think I see it at least once a week

definitely, this woman came in here the other day with a used g-string, which was ripped claiming she bought it like that

hang on, is this true or is this something you’ve done and covered up by saying it was someone else...you look like the g-string breaking type

ha-ha no I swear, and what’s that supposed to mean, are you saying I like it rough?

I’m saying what I said (non-answer), relax, I don’t pick you for the g-string type anyhow

what? Why? (Asking me to jump through her hoops)

I can’t talk about g-strings with you, I’m a Buddhist monk with a vow of celibacy. I know you just want to get me talking about it so I’ll be so turned on I’ll have to ask you out

ha-ha whatever

see this is why we could never work (disqualifier), I genuinely love girls with g-strings but you would be walking round in your grandma panties all day and it would kill the chemistry

ha-ha oh my god I so would not, you have no idea what kind of panties I wear

men’s jockey Y-fronts...don’t worry; I’m sure it is “purely a comfort thing”, actually...from now on I’m going to call you Y-Front

But don’t worry, I wore them once too until I moved onto G-strings so how can I be mad at you *pull out phone* put your number in my phone and I’ll give you a call when I need to get rid of my old panties

ha-ha ok, and when will that be (indicator of interest) sometime in 1989

but...what? That’s in the past so are Y-fronts...see you!

With this method you can escalate your relationship exponentially quicker than if you were to have a regular conversation. Notice how I talked about experiences rather than asking her questions. Stories and general life predicaments are always good ways to invoke the other party’s response.

TIP: Make a rule of never having small talk. Everyone does it particularly at parties with old acquaintances. Asking about work, relationships, the weather and gossiping about whether Stacey has a third nipple are all conversations that are generally boring and will end sooner rather than

later. Quite often stating the obvious (“Let’s not do small talk today”) and then jumping into a big topic (“Tell me, do you think they should bring in the death penalty here?”) can work wonders. As strange as it may seem people nearing the middle or the end of their night need a breath of fresh conversational air away from “So…do you enjoy working as a pharmacist?”

Dendros Theory