AFRONTAMIENTO Y CANCER

Teachers described their childhood victimization as occurring in a number of places and situations and over various periods of time.

Figure 3.5

3.1.2.1 School

Teachers (N = 8) reported that bullying took place for them in the school setting. Though most teachers (n = 7) reported that bullying started for them in elementary school, they also reported they were bullied throughout middle and high school, as well. One teacher, who reported that she felt relational bullying was more prevalent among girls, said:

I think for me it was school. I was a pretty quiet and independent kid…I found it a lot more prevalent in my female relationships at that middle school at the time…There were definitely instances with boys too…I don’t know, girls have a tendency to be a little cattier about things…

Another teacher described how her relational bullying evolved into repeated physical altercations:

And then, you know, that anger builds up in you, so then my whole 10th grade year and 11th grade year of high school, all I did was fought because I felt like I had to defend me, because I had no one else to defend me. So, I was fighting and getting in trouble…and back then, bullying was not…like now in school, they talk about bullying a whole lot more, but when I was in high school…they didn’t talk about bullying that much. Making the connection between what was happening in the context of family and community in the rural town in which she lived, which was impacted by factory closures and economic decline, one teacher discussed how that dynamic entered into the school setting. She explained:

My childhood was characterized by being around very anxious adults worrying about losing their blue-collar jobs. And they had reason to be anxious, 'cause it was happening. So, there was a lot of addiction and drinking, just sort of a low rumble of disaffection and an undercurrent of violence. People had deer guns, 'cause they were into hunting, so the milieu I was in ... So, it was like the community level, and in my house, it was definitely my parents' not happy marriage, and some neglect of we children. And then all of that came into the school house as well. I think the adults in the school were in the fabric of that community as well.

Teachers (n = 3) explained that when there was bullying at home as well as at school, there was not a break from being bullied in their lives, making the bullying all the more painful.

This connection between school, family and community factors supports the notion that

addressing bullying should involve the school, as well as the family and community (Miglianccio & Raskauskas, 2014; Olweus, 1997; Rigby, 2014). Another teacher discussed a similar

experience and explained how she considered herself to always be the “underdog:”

There was no break between the bullying at home and the bullying at school. And then, you don't expect to receive bullying. You don't expect to put the title of bullying at home. But it was the same as in school. I was always helping an underdog, or I was an underdog. Teachers (N = 8) discussed the different areas of school where their bullying took place, such as hallways, the cafeteria, gym class, and the playground. The school bus (level 4 code) was seen as a particularly “scary” place for some of the teachers (n = 2). One teacher recounted:

I hated being on the bus. The bus was the worst place to me. Oh, that was a scary place. I prayed and prayed that I could get a car. Soon as I learned how to drive, I wanted a car so badly so I wouldn't have to get on the bus. (I was) traumatized by the bus. So much happens on the bus. They (the bus drivers) have to drive the bus. They have to keep their eyes on the road. They have to keep us safe. They have no idea what's going on on that bus. I hated the bus.

Since the only adult on the bus (the driver) was acknowledged as being preoccupied with driving responsibilities, the school bus emerged as perhaps one of the first places where teachers reported being “on their own” for the first time and, therefore, easy targets for bullying. One teacher said:

So, I got off the bus and I told the bus driver that they hit me, and I remember she told me to show her which ones and I told them, and I don't know what happened after that, but I just... I felt the bus driver was safe, and she…But it was so scary because it was the first time I was ever without my parents at all, and I didn't know what to do, I didn't have that many friends to talk to or anything. I was just by myself.

3.1.2.2 Home or family

Teachers (n = 3) who described bullying that took place in the home or among family members sometimes also described bullying as a multi-contextual experience. One teacher described the bullying she experienced as primarily occurring in her family:

By early on, I mean first or second grade. I was definitely conscious of people abusing their power. In particular, adults. And adults not doing their part to keep kids safe. I witnessed that. And there was a part of me ... I always say, somewhat, my parents allowed my brother to be violent towards me. And enabled that. I remember from a very young age, in my own family, thinking ... not using the word, but the feeling of, this is total bullshit. That there's something really, profoundly wrong and unjust, but I didn't have that language of the injustice of it.

Another teacher described the bullying she experienced in her family against the backdrop of addiction and sexual abuse:

It was in my neighborhood, in my family... So, I don't know, my dad was on drugs and I do remember being younger, and I tell people, "My dad wasn't always a bad dad." He was, at one point, a great dad. But when you start to use drugs, and... I don't know. I guess you feel like you should never be afraid of your parents...

She continued by describing how she blamed herself for the sexual abuse she experienced at the hands of her father:

My dad came to the house that day, to my grandmother's house, and I was cleaning up so I could go and hang out with my cousins. And he brought me some money, and that didn't happen often, so I was excited. So, I let him in the house. But he left and came back and wanted the money back. For a long time, when things like that happen, you blame

yourself, so I blamed myself for a long time because I kept saying, "My grandma told me don't open the door for anybody. I should've never let him in."

Another teacher described the bullying she experienced in her family as “academic bullying:”

Family bullied me academically. Everyone in my family is an engineer and I have learning disabilities so that didn't work out too well. I failed through school—all the time. (There was) yelling, frustrating, telling me something is wrong with my brain. Beatings. When I got Fs and Ds. To quote, "D meant you don't give a damn. F meant you said Fuck it and you're not retarded." I heard that a lot growing up.

3.1.2.3 Neighborhood or community

Bullying in the neighborhood, school and family represented blurred lines for some teachers. One in particular, when asked if her bullying experiences were primarily at school, in her family or in her neighborhood, replied, “Shoot, all of the above.” For most (n = 3), bullying

occurred for them in their neighborhoods but could not be isolated to the neighborhood context. By contrast, one teacher explained that, while some teachers felt unsafe at home, her home was the primary safe space for her, away from the verbal bullying she was experiencing. She said:

Well, it (bullying) was mainly in school, but then some of those kids from school lived in the neighborhood too. But I felt more of a protection at home because I could just, if I was outside playing and someone said something that was hurtful, I’d just leave and go in my house.

Conversely, one teacher described the neighborhood as a source of inevitable difficulty for her. She explained:

I was constantly in trouble. My mom was telling me she wasn't raising me this way, but they couldn't get me out of that neighborhood. Those were the neighborhoods I was in. You know, my mom did steadily move us into different neighborhoods. I will give her that. She did the best she could.

3.1.2.4 Long-term

The long-term code (level 3) referred to the ongoing nature of the bullying that teachers experienced. Some described bullying taking place sporadically over a period of time; others described bullying as happening throughout their entire school years. One teacher stated:

I think it was pretty much throughout my educational experience. I mean, it let up a little bit as I got older, or maybe I just didn't notice it as much, but no, I would say it was pretty consistent.

Another teacher similarly reported: “It was repeated, basically till I got to high school. In middle school, it was very bad.”