Alde publikoa

A key part of effective work with children is to make their strengths and abilities more evident to them and the adults in their lives. Identification of these resources forms the basis of each child’s unique solutions to their problems and develops resilience. This chapter begins with a brief discussion of the characteristics of resilient children and then describes different ways of discovering children’s skills, aptitudes and abilities. It also explains how behaviours that on the surface appear to be deficits can be converted into strengths, and looks at the difficulties in identifying strengths in defiant children. As well as case examples, there are also activities to enable readers to (re)discover their own skills and resources.

Strengths and resilience

In concentrating on searching for solutions, we are sometimes accused of ignoring problems at our peril. We are told that our work is superficial, and that problems have to be explored at length or that they will be papered over, only to re-emerge later. After all, ignoring problems doesn’t make them go away. However, unlike plumbing problems, children’s problems don’t necessarily have any link whatsoever with the solutions they devise. Even where there is a direct link between a problem and a solution, such as obesity and eating less junk food, plans for eating more healthily will vary enormously from child to child.

Unlike the owners of broken toilets, children rarely want us to behave like expert plumbers as they will have their own ideas about preferred solutions to their problems, and the skills, abilities and strengths they can bring to those solutions. A central part of our work concentrates on discovering these resources. As the Children’s Workforce Development Council found when they undertook a refreshing exercise on the common core skills, one core skill is knowledge of young people and their specific strengths so that they can be supported appropriately. To use a medical analogy, if we think of problems like tumours, there are two

ways of tackling them. We can be problem-focused and get them out, expose them through surgery, dissect them in order to discover their pathology, stitch up the holes, and wait for the scars to fade. Or we can boost children’s immune systems so that tumours are dissipated.

Solution focused approaches take the latter view and attempt to boost children’s resilience so that they can put their lives back in order.

Some children cope with setbacks very well, whether they are small ones, such as not being picked for the school football team, or big ones, such as living in a home where there is domestic violence.

Their resilience helps them pick themselves up and get on with life.

Other children don’t cope at all well; they get stuck, see life as very unfair, and sometimes become depressed or begin self-harming. The difference between these two groups of children is not the severity of their problems; it is the ability to get a good outcome in the face of adversity. We consider it important to help children become more resilient because they need to be able to cope with what life throws at them, adapt to testing situations, take responsibility and continue to develop – whether this is a failure to pass an exam, or developing a debilitating illness, or being removed from the birth family. We avoid spending too much time on problems, because this is a negative approach that has the effect of making us think negatively about children. Thinking negatively about children does not help us discover the strengths and resources that can be developed into their personal resilience. Children thinking negatively about themselves, pessimistic children, get depressed more often, achieve less at school, and their physical health is worse (Selekman 2007).

We will explain how we go about building resilience, but first, we spend a little time looking at the characteristics of resilience:

• Having a support network of family, friends and teachers is an important component of resilience: ‘many of life’s major resiliences are acquired in the context of close relationships, particularly parent–

child and peer relationships’ (Howe 2008, p.107). Although resilience is mostly learned in a family environment that is low in criticism and high in praise, somewhat surprisingly, children lacking these basics develop resilience where they have support in at least one aspect of a possible network. In the Department of Health guidance on assessing children in need (DoH 2000), Gilligan (2002) comments that only one committed adult and/

or a good school experience is a source of resilience for children.

Equally, friends are very important in childhood and can provide a support network for children lacking this at home. Even where children are socially isolated, they are able to get great comfort and support from invisible friends – we explain more about this later.

• Confidence that they can face new and challenging situations. This confidence develops from previous successes that remind children of how they have overcome adversity in the past, which is why one question we ask a great deal is ‘Can you tell me how you handled problems before?,’ or ‘What is the hardest thing you have ever done?’ And, of course, ‘How did you do it?’ and

‘Can you do it again?’

• Having a sense of purpose and future. Having ambitions, goals, a desire for achievement, and motivation helps children believe that things will be better in the future. This is why goal-setting is so important in solution focused work, and that goals do not need to be limited to an immediate problem – they can be expansive.

• Socially competent children who are friendly and have a sense of humour also have resilience because they are active and adaptable as well having supportive friends.

• Problem-solving skills are also a key characteristic as then the child can reflect on problems, using flexibility and willingness to attempt alternative solutions.

• Autonomy. Resilient children have a sense of their own identity and an ability to exert some control over their own environment.

Interestingly, some children in dysfunctional families separate themselves psychologically from their families and this resilience is a safeguarding factor. Similarly it is well known that children suffering great trauma, such as war atrocities, or sexual abuse when very small, retain their autonomy by forgetting, even as it happens, or fleeing the body through splitting (for more details, see Bass and Davis 1988). Therefore, autonomy takes different forms.

• Attitudes are also important as children who can stay involved rather than withdrawing are more likely to be able to keep trying to influence events rather than give up. They also learn that stress is a challenge to be faced rather than bemoaning their

fate. This involves seeing themselves accurately so that they can distinguish between problems that are their own fault, taking responsibility to try to correct the behaviour, and still feeling worthwhile when problems are not their fault (Selekman 2007).

Practice activity

how resilient are you as a worker? Look at the list of resilience skills below and then answer the questions.

1. having a sense of humour. Reivich and Shatte (2003) say that this is an important skill but that it can’t be learned.

however, other resilience skills are all learnable.

2. Emotional awareness – the ability to identify what you are feeling and, when necessary, the ability to control your feelings. In solution focused terms, this would be described as not being able to help how you feel, but being responsible for how you behave when you have these feelings.

3. Impulse control – the ability to tolerate ambiguity so that you don’t rush to make decisions, but that you rather look at things thoughtfully.

4. Optimism that is wedded to reality in that you don’t simply look on the ‘bright side’ all the time. Instead, an optimistic explanatory style helps you think about adverse experiences in a constructive way; namely, it’s a temporary setback.

5. Possess the ability to look at problems from many perspectives.

6. The ability to read and understand emotions is a social competence that provides social support. Resilient adults don’t necessarily go it alone; they know when to ask for help and where to go for that help.

7. Self-efficacy. Confidence in your own ability to solve problems, knowing your strengths and weaknesses, and relying on the former to cope. This is a skills-based notion of coping that is different from self-esteem which is to do with judgements about self-worth.

8. Reaching out, being prepared to take appropriate risk, is also a characteristic of resilience. This means having a willingness to try things and considering failure as a part of life.

You don’t need all of these skills to be resilient, so:

• Select one skill from this list that you are strong on.

• Think how you can use it more.

• What will you be doing differently when you are using this skill more?

• What will other people notice differently about you?