In the context of this study, a critical event is conceived as an event which affects the psychological, emotional and social well-being of an individual. A critical event can thus precipitate the development of a crisis in the life of a person. It is therefore, important to point out that most of the events in the lives of the child mothers starting from abduction
After abducting me together with my brothers, the first terrible thing I witnessed was that all my brothers were killed there and then. Out of the 26, who were abducted that day, I was the only one who was left alive. They tied me with a rope and we started walking and crossed one of the streams called Ayugi going towards Kilak hill. Upon reaching Kilak Hills we did not take long before we encountered government troops. They started firing at people....people scattered and ran in different directions. As for me I was still tied up with the rope (Ladira Maggie)
As indicated by Maggie, critical events represented significant turning points in the lives of the girls over which they had little control, except in their response to mitigate further risks.
The first critical event the girls were unable to prevent was abduction:
I was abducted from Kalil. Although we had already left to take refuge in town, we went back to pick some food. That was when we were abducted. We were staying with one of our aunts. We were ten who were staying with her and out of the ten, three were her sons and we were all abducted at night. We spent that night with the rebels and the next day we continued walking, and on that day three people among my family members were killed... On the fifth day two other relatives were killed because some of them were weak. For example, one of my
aunt‟s sons had cough so he could not carry luggage and could not manage
walking long distance. So, this one was also killed from one of the homesteads by having a roof of a granary thrown over him and setting it ablaze (Apiyo Brenda). Sexual exploitation constituted another critical event in their lives. The girls were assigned to men who demanded sex almost immediately, without consideration for their physical or biological development. This was a traumatising experience for all the girls interviewed, as many of them were virgins. One FACM narrated:
When we reached Sudan they started distributing us to men, but for me I did not know that the kind of distribution was to give you to a man as a wife... And then I was finally given to that person that I stayed with. But he was not a good person he was fierce and he was already old and had grey hair. According to their rules, you were not supposed to start having sex with a girl until she is 13 or 15 years old but with this man he started right away, the very minute I was given to him so I never had any easy life and besides he was punishing me in different ways. I stayed there for two years. I had a lot of injuries because he was always battering me (Aloyo Maria).
Findings further indicated that the girls tried all that was possible to resist sexual exploitation without success, as depicted in the following testimonies:
One day Otti [senior rebel commander] called me to go and sleep with him. I refused, he then called Amony and she also refused to go. He called Anek, and asked if there was water, and she said yes. He told her to bring it to him. That water was poured on our bodies until we were completely wet. He ordered us to stand throughout the night, which we did. That night we stood inside the house, wet. He called Lamwaka and started having sex with her in front of us. The following day, again water was poured on us, my legs were swollen because of standing for a long time. On the third day, he again called the girl and had sex
with her, we asked for forgiveness and he refused and said: „I am going to sleep
with this girl in front of you so that you become envious‟ (Jackie Anena).
... He waited when all the ladies had gone to the well but he told me not to go to the well and so I did not go. Then he told me to go to his house. I went and stayed in his house and then he asked me to go with him to bed but I refused. He then
picked a „wire lock‟[long metallic object for locking a bicycle] and started
threatening me with it...he hit me with the wire lock and I started crying… and he
picked a gun and started cocking it; he asked me: „Have you ever seen a person
who has been killed?‟ I said: „no‟, then he said: „In the evening am calling you
back here, let me wait and see if you are going to refuse then you may have to choose between death and life‟. He then asked: „What do you choose between
death and life?‟ And I told him that I choose life (Adero Flo)
As seen in the testimonies above, the resistance put up by the girls against sexual exploitation was not a one–off struggle. For some of the girls it happened over several days and weeks. They only submitted when they were threatened with death. This shows how far girls go to protect their dignity, a clear demonstration of agency and resilience.
The forced sexual relationship and repeated rape of the girls ultimately resulted in pregnancy for most of them. Conception and motherhood were thus other critical events in the lives of the young girls23. Discussion with the FACM indicated that most were not prepared to embrace motherhood in the bush. In their own words: it was the most unlikely place in which to bear and raise a child. Most were first-time mothers who were neither biologically nor mentally ready for this role. Some of the FACM revealed sentiments suggesting that initially they wanted to kill the children or hoped that they would miscarry, as indicated by Alobo:
At that age I was not ready for a child, because from home I would see those who
are old enough giving birth. Here I was a child having a child also. I didn‟t like it
23 Reports and records at the Psychosocial support agencies such as GUSCO and World Vision suggest that the majority of the girls who stayed in the bush for more than three years all either came back with children or were pregnant, having conceived in the bush.
at all; it gave me a lot of worries and I thought I may not manage to take care of him. Even when I was pregnant I thought of aborting. But once the child came, I
didn‟t have any bad feelings towards him although even in the process of delivery
I was thinking of killing it but I didn‟t have energy. If I was to deliver alone I would have killed it because I was not prepared for it.
This implies that adjustment to motherhood in the bush was not an overnight issue for the girls. Interviews with FACM who delivered in the bush also indicated that many girls tried to kill the children and some only came to show love to their children much later on. It was only after a few weeks, and for some of the child mothers, months, that they developed love for their children. In the subsequent pregnancies and deliveries, the child mothers had come to accept their situation as part of their destiny. Unlike in the normal Acholi society where advice on motherhood, including some traditional rituals, is given to expectant mothers to prepare them for birth, this was not the case in the bush.
Explaining the difficulties of first time motherhood one of the FACM mentioned: ―you see what your friend is doing and that is exactly what you would also do‖.
The agency of the child mothers came out clearly in the way in which they coped with their motherhood and parental responsibilities under very difficult circumstances in the bush to ensure that their children stayed alive and were fed. One of the child mothers (Ladira Maggie) recounted:
I realised that my own childhood was already lost. The only way through which I could redeem this lost childhood is by ensuring that my children survive the turbulence in the bush and return with me home alive, perhaps they would be the ones who would also take care of me in the future.
Ladira Maggie eventually returned home on her own volition, motivated by consideration for the safety of her three children who had survived many battles in the bush.
It is therefore, important to point out that while the choices were limited in the bush; any available option for survival was weighed before any action was taken.
Child Mothers as Child Soldiers (Fighters) in the Bush
Narrative interviews with the child mothers suggests that on abduction, they were all made to undergo military training as their primary duty was soldiers, all other roles were secondary. Considering that many were abducted at age 9-11 the training took place in the days after abduction when they were still young and un-attached to men as wives and child mothers. Many of the young girls (later FACM) experienced battles of different magnitudes, even before undergoing any training, for example one of the child mothers (Acii Lorna) noted:
We walked and crossed the stream [Unyama] and [immediately] entered an ambush. People started running [away in fear and panic], for me I was still tied up with the rope, they started pulling me even among thorns now... they were just pulling on them but we managed to get away. In that encounter other people got a chance of escaping, some were killed and others were captured by the army
[government]... but for me I could not escape because I was still tied up.
In the bush therefore, there were about three circumstances predisposing the child mothers to battles: when the women are chosen to accompany a standby fighting brigade to Uganda (quite frequent); indirect ambushes by SPLA, local militia and other fighting forces within Sudan; and attacks by the Ugandan government forces on the LRA bases in Sudan, especially during operation “iron fist”.
Narrative interviews suggested that many child mothers (including expectant ones) and girls were made to accompany their husbands for operation to Uganda from Sudan, with or without their children. In such situations they were made to perform all roles of fighters including direct confrontations and responding with fire during ambushes. They were also selected in smaller fighting groups to carry out raids and counter raids on UPDF positions within the bushes of Uganda or to loot foodstuffs. Some of the child mothers were high ranking rebel soldiers, like in the case of (Ladira Maggie) who was a lieutenant in the rebel establishment. She was commander of a unit which comprised both male and female soldiers and was also a wife to one of the top commanders with whom she had an abusive relationship which forced her to later escape and abandon the LRA. Ladira had several missions to Uganda in the same standby as her husband and travelled with her children on many occasions. She revealed that when commanding
treatment‘ was because of her rank and also due to the fact that her husband was one of the top rebel commanders.
Within Southern Sudan the rebels mainly fought with the SPLA rebels at the behest of Khartoum government and also to protect their own territorial bases. Child mothers were also forced to engage local communities within Sudan to look for food, especially in the operation iron fist aftermath when their gardens and food stores were destroyed by the UPDF assault. In such situations most of the rebel forces were preoccupied with fighting the UPDF and the child mothers had to look for food for their households on their own. The food had to be taken by force after exchange of fire, and in many cases shedding of
blood. As depicted by one of the child mothers (Anena Jackie) ―if you did not fight you do not get the food and no one would give it to you‖. The Child mothers thus had to
choose between fighting for the food and starving in the bush. Anena Jackie added:
In 2002, we went up the mountain but did not take long. The UPDF soldiers were everywhere and there was no food. One day, I was very hungry, my child was one year old but he was still breastfeeding and he was good. They would send girls to go and look for food; sometimes you
eat only one piece of potato. We were around 100 people in Kony‟s home.
One day we decided to go and look for food. I decided to come with them,
leaving my child behind. … And we all had guns because we were trained
on how to use them. You must fight with Lutugu Mordir [a tribe in Southern Sudan] to get food because they also had guns (Anena Jackie).
According to the child mothers, while their engagement in direct confrontation was fairly limited when based in the Sudan in the days before operation iron fist, this changed afterwards. In the aftermath of operation iron fist everyone (girls, boys, and child mothers) was given a gun and told to defend themselves. Many of the child mothers had to take up arms and join their husbands in fighting for survival.
It is clear that whether in Sudan or in the bushes of Northern Uganda, the child mothers faced significant risks and challenges as soldiers within the bush. Testimonies of the child mothers indicated that many of their compatriots died in battles, some lost their children and many were severely maimed in battles. In some cases, children were shot dead with their mothers as they engaged other fighting forces, while others died on the back of their mothers who escaped alive.24 During battles therefore, the child mothers
24
were faced with a complex situation: they had to ensure protection of their children, born, unborn and also fight for their own survival. One child mother remarked:
As a child mother fighter you had many challenges. You had to hold your child or
in some cases children, carry your guns and munitions as well as other children‟s
paraphernalia and take cover at the same time. This was no easy feat…actually in some cases you are forced to either throw the gun or run (if we have to retreat)
or throw down the child…which was a more difficult option! We always tried to
ensure that we have the children at all times. As a mother you feel so bad for your children being caught up in this very difficult environment (Oroma Nancy).
In other situations some of the girls/child mothers were made to kill other abductees or those rebels deemed to have violated orders or shown cowardice at the front line (battle). All this was made to harden them as fighters and make them ruthless. In the narration of their experience with the rebels, participation in killing innocent children exerted a strong impact on the girls. Their recall of these events was accompanied by regret and deep emotional pain. In other situations the participants wept openly when they remembered such incidents and realized the full weight of what happened in the bush.
The exposure of the FACM to battles and other combat environment in the bush significantly predisposed them to critical events. Such critical events which can induce trauma and traumatic events include killing, witnessing macabre incidents and the trauma of battle itself. It is therefore conceivable that girls and child mothers who get such significant exposure would have more difficulties and challenges reintegrating within the community compared to those that did not. Consultation with agency staff in the rehabilitation centres also indicated that child mothers who got exposed to significant amount of trauma through their direct or indirect participation in battle and as fighters often show more signs of trauma including depression, withdrawal and isolations. Comparatively, it was revealed that those with less exposure to battles did not present with much trauma symptoms.