Written by M. Chase
Originally Published: 07/22/2008
I’m guessing since I’m getting married in September (let’s see how that goes) is why I wa s asked to write about managing a relationship for the 31 days series. Apologies in advance for the long post, but the stuff below is golden. If you are interested in a relationship, be it monogamous, MLTR, or just a fuck buddy hopefully you can pick something up from this. I am not a guru;
these are just guidelines I’ve been taught and implemented that have worked wonders. I’m not re-inventing the wheel here, these are not my ideas. To give credit so I don’t step on any toes or get a lawsuit thrown at me, most of these are Sebastian Drake’s concepts.
Here we go…
Let’s be blunt here…when women get complacent in a relationship they tend to treat their guy like shit. If you think I’m joking head to the mall on a Saturday afternoon, buy a drink, then sit down and watch couples interact. It’s a mind-blowing experience to watch how some guys get treated in public…and they put up with it. Here’s a true story. One of my good friends got married a while back. Honeymoon was great, everything was normal. Then she quit her job and took over the finances. He was GIVEN a $20 allowance per week with the money he earned. The marriage lasted six months until he finally flipped. Guys, while sad this can be prevented.
The Vase Concept
This is the best analogy I’ve heard…relationships are like a vase…clay and water getting molded together on a wheel. You only have a set amount of time, maybe two months to make things how you want them to be. Once the vase gets thrown into the oven and hardened, there it is and good luck changing it. We’re all creatures of habit. If you decide one day you’re going to break the mold with a girl you’ve been seeing the vase cracks…yeah, good luck with that. It’s not that it can’t be fixed, it just takes a hell of a lot of time to do it (and this goes double for friends or ex-girlfriends who already know you). Should put a little perspective on the divorce rate in this country.
Precedence is absolutely key. We all get caught up in the moment when we’re with a new girl we like. Something in our heads wants to make her happy and seek approval. If she asks you to do something, and this can be anything you seriously don’t want to do (going to plays, singing karaoke, fancy dinners, doing the laundry…whatever). DO NOT do it from day one.
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Never. If this will piss you off a couple of months from now don’t start the cycle. The moment you get fed up the precedent has been broken and the vase cracks. Again, good luck with that.
Don’t get the wrong impression that you should never compromise. You simply have to. The real question is what you’re willing to compromise on. Ashlyn just moved into my place and did some redecorating. Can’t say I’m exactly thrilled with the changes (I’m now a plant owner) but it’s something I can live with, even if I have to water the damn things.
Set Expectations
Guys, people act like they are expected to. Frankly, I’m surprised this isn’t addressed more in the community. Everyone acts differently around different people. Let me ask a question.
Would you drop an f-bomb in front of your grandmother? I know I wouldn’t have. This is just psych 101. Do you act the same way around your best friend that you would around your boss?
Now what you should ask yourself is why?
The same thing goes for relationships. You can’t exactly change someone’s personality, but you can nudge them in certain directions. Getting someone to admit to something you want wins the battle…if they renege on it later you can bust them on it. People tend to live up to what they’ve admitted to. This is very powerful in the seduction phase. For example, if I’m into a woman and looking for a MLTR, I’ll drop something like “look at all the women in this place that need a man to hold their hand…please tell me you’re not like that.” You can use a variation of this for any trait you’re looking for.
This is also very good for compliance. If she’s into you she’ll agree with pretty much anything you say unless it’s way out of her personality. If she disagrees on a trait you’re looking for it’s up to you if you want to pursue it.
Draw the Battle-Lines
Probably the best advice I’ve ever gotten. Gentleman, draw the battle-lines. This was so far out of my reality I thought it was a joke…it wasn’t. When women get pissed they will push you to see what they can get away with. We all do it. In the seduction context make a list of what will make you happy in a relationship. A loyal girl, bj every day, sex 4 times a week…etc.
Whatever you really want. Now push it forward. If you set your expectations farther than what you really need you’ll always be in the clear when problems come up that have to be worked out.
I’m trying to remember how this went, something along the lines of “can we just have sex tonight instead of you doing me anal on the balcony”…fucking hilarious.
If anything I hope you guys got something out of this.
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M. Chase II
31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com
31 Days to Better Game www.tsbmag.com Bobby Rio
Day 29
Tips for Getting Better in Bed
Written by Bobby Rio
Originally Published: 07/21/2008
If you want to have the ability to call a girl up every night of the week for a late night booty call;
you need to be good in bed.
It doesn’t matter how great of a pick-up artist you are; if you don’t perform in the bedroom you will never be able to create a life of unlimited options. Sexual options with women stems from building up a network of women who love having sex with you. Women who still want to sleep with you even after they realize that you’re not boyfriend material. That is true sexual power.
In this lesson I want to give you guys some tips for improving this area of your life. I recently wrote a post about becoming a better lover where I discussed the art of reading the signs that a woman is giving you and continuing to push her in that direction.
Above all this is the number one trait of a good lover. You need to be able to recognize what a woman is enjoying. You need to tailor everything to the girl you’re having sex with at this particular moment. You need to make her feel like you know her inside and out. Even if she knows you’re a player, she has to feel an intense sexual connection with you.
This starts with the kiss. If she is a slow passionate kisser, slow your style down so your tongues mesh together. If she’s an aggressive and dominant kisser… sit back and follow her lead. She’ll walk away thinking you were the best kisser in the world... simply because you mirrored her style.
You’ll need to increase your stamina. If you want a mind blowing sexual session it has to last more than ten minutes. If you know you’ve got a habit of finishing quickly than make sure you extend the foreplay. Use your hands and mouth to create intense sexual tension. Explore every area of her body until she is practically begging for it. Most girls really enjoy receiving oral sex…
learn to read the signs she is giving you and get her pussy gushing from the oral.
But even after some powerful foreplay you need to follow up an even more powerful lay.
Increase your stamina and last longer by focusing on pleasing her rather than how good you feel, using breathing patterns, use positions that you’re less likely to finish with, and by
practicing. You also want to build up your energy level as well as increasing your testosterone level which will only fuel your fire in the bedroom.
Everything listed above are the fundamentals needed to become a better lover. Below I’ve listed some general tips to improve the overall experience.
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31 Days Days to to Better Better Game Game www.tsbmag.com www.tsbmag.com Bobby Bobby RioRio More tips to be a
More tips to be a better lover better lover 1.
1.ShaveShave. Having stubble on your face can irritate her . Having stubble on your face can irritate her and make things like kissing and oral sex aand make things like kissing and oral sex a lot less pleasurable for her.
lot less pleasurable for her.
2.
2.Groom Yourself Groom Yourself . The more you take care of . The more you take care of your body the more likely she’ll be inclined toyour body the more likely she’ll be inclined to want to give you oral sex.
want to give you oral sex.
3.
3.Smell GoodSmell Good. Wearing nice smelling cologne can intensify the sexual desire she f. Wearing nice smelling cologne can intensify the sexual desire she feels for you.eels for you.
Just a small spray is best… or go for that just out of the shower smell.
Just a small spray is best… or go for that just out of the shower smell.
4.
4.Give a good massageGive a good massage. Having a . Having a little knowledge of some sexually erotic zones of a woman’slittle knowledge of some sexually erotic zones of a woman’s body will go a long way. Watc
body will go a long way. Watch a video on giving an erotic hand massage or a h a video on giving an erotic hand massage or a video on giving avideo on giving a foot massage.
foot massage.
5.
5.Aim for the G-spot.Aim for the G-spot.Don’t obsess about the g-spot. But having an idea of where it is and howDon’t obsess about the g-spot. But having an idea of where it is and how to hit it will increase your li
to hit it will increase your likely hood of making her cum. If you’re clueless about the G-spotkely hood of making her cum. If you’re clueless about the G-spot read an article about how to find the g-spot
read an article about how to find the g-spot
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31 Days Days to to Better Better Game Game www.tsbmag.com www.tsbmag.com Bobby Bobby RioRio
Day 30
There comes a time in every pla
There comes a time in every player’s life where he is forced to end relations with a femalyer’s life where he is forced to end relations with a female hee he no longer enjoys s
no longer enjoys spending time with. pending time with. The irony of thThe irony of this is that you wis is that you will probably find it is ill probably find it is moremore difficult to end it with a girl than it
difficult to end it with a girl than it was to get her.was to get her.
It is never easy to end things with a girl… and every situation
It is never easy to end things with a girl… and every situation will be different. will be different. But there is oneBut there is one constant rule that does not change.
constant rule that does not change.
The longer you wait to end it;
The longer you wait to end it; the harder it will be.the harder it will be.
Now that you’re out meeting and dating a variety of girls you’ll
Now that you’re out meeting and dating a variety of girls you’ll quickly find that you won’t bequickly find that you won’t be on the same page as most of them.
on the same page as most of them.
This is because while you may view
This is because while you may view her as “practice” or “fun for the moment” or “somewhereher as “practice” or “fun for the moment” or “somewhere to dump your load” she ma
to dump your load” she may have completely other thoughts running through her mind y have completely other thoughts running through her mind inin regards to what the two of you have together.
regards to what the two of you have together.
Eventually you are bound to hear one of these 3 evil questions:
Eventually you are bound to hear one of these 3 evil questions:
1.
1. Where do we stand?Where do we stand?
2.
2. What is this?What is this?
3.
3. Where is this going?Where is this going?
If you’ve been dating a girl that you have no intention of making
If you’ve been dating a girl that you have no intention of making your girlfriend… than you needyour girlfriend… than you need to change the way you view these 3
to change the way you view these 3 questions.questions.
I used to hate when a girl asked me one of thes
I used to hate when a girl asked me one of these questions. e questions. I used to fear it, and pray thatI used to fear it, and pray that things will roll along at the status quo.
things will roll along at the status quo. I hated the way I had to lie or change topics or beI hated the way I had to lie or change topics or be extremely vague with my answer.
extremely vague with my answer. And what I hated more, was when moAnd what I hated more, was when months later, when Inths later, when I finally had the balls to end it, the girl
finally had the balls to end it, the girl would throw it in my face how I would throw it in my face how I should have just beenshould have just been honest with her back when she asked “where this was going.”
honest with her back when she asked “where this was going.”
Well, now I’ve learned to love when
Well, now I’ve learned to love when a girl asks me one those questions… because I’ve learneda girl asks me one those questions… because I’ve learned to
tojust be honest with her.just be honest with her.