6.1 ANÁLISIS DESCRIPTIVO

I have discussed the quest in relation to the pursuit of a better life. For many women this was thought to be possible in Spain but for some of them, moving back to the UK represented the chance of a better life as they became

disillusioned by Spain in the sense that it did not live up to their expectations and women identified certain compelling factors which precipitated plans to move back to the UK. I have framed this in terms of a plot shift, from the quest to ‘Voyage and Return’ (Booker 2004). This is the second plot based on a journey but it differs from the quest. In this plotline, the central character travels out of their familiar surroundings into ‘another world’ (or in this case country) cut off from that with which they are familiar. In the early stages of Voyage and Return, perceived differences between the ‘two worlds’ are unproblematic. However, eventually the central character feels compelled to return ‘home’ or to familiarity after experiencing ‘the unknown’ and the plot’s happy ending is that the central character is able to return to what is familiar. This is linked to the idea of where home is as I discuss below.

5.4.1 Where home is

The issue of ‘where home is’ is complex and multi-layered (Ryan 2004). It can be multiple, shifting, pragmatic and contingent. For women who had moved to Spain in retirement, the place to which they constructed belonging through their narratives waswhere they felt that ‘home’ was. This was directly linked to how they felt about living in Spain and whether or not they intended to stay. Like community, ‘home’ embodied notions of belonging which encompassed identity, place and networks and could have multiple, simultaneous meanings and I discuss this throughout the following chapters. For example, it was possible to be of one place and from another and refer to both places as home while feeling belonging to one or both in varying degrees and in

different ways (Cronin 2006). Depending on whether or not women wished to stay in Spain, certain aspects were emphasised or minimised in order to justify present actions and future intentions. For example, Deidre positioned herself as an older, potentially vulnerable woman who welcomed familiarity and safety. This operates on a number of levels, particularly in terms of health care and she put forward a list of reasons why she wanted to return:

Deidre

Basically I suppose family, also familiarity, getting old, knowing the system back in England the ways and means of getting health care and so forth.

Vera also positioned herself as pragmatic in her actions, but she wished to return to the UK; Spain was her home for the moment because that was where she had chosen to live but she was very clear that it was the UK which was truly home for her, for this was where she felt she belonged to. This denotes that belonging to places is complex and multiple. Here she positioned herself as liking the idea of Spain (the exotic) but ultimately though, for Vera, home was in the UK. However, belonging was complex and multi-layered and it was possible to be ‘of’ one place and ‘from’ another:

Vera – excerpt 4

I mean people on the plane will say ‘Are you going on holiday?’ and I say, ‘No I’m going home’, and I say that in the sense that’s where my house is, not where my heart is, where my house is. England yes, it’s never changed. I can never think of anywhere but England as home.

Therefore, the idea that for some, home was either in Spain or in the UK was not entirely straight-forward, with some suggesting that the idea of home could be less fixed and possibly in multiple places.

Celia demonstrated an acceptance that she had made the choice to live in Spain permanently and showed perhaps a typically British ‘stiff upper lip’ approach to accepting this in her narrative. For Celia, the UK only represented home when things in Spain were not going well. She was pragmatic too; home was where she lived. Here she portrayed herself as happy in Spain and having made the right decision, emphasising that when she was unhappy it was a temporary ‘moment’ or ‘day’, so in this sense she minimised the

problems. For her, Spain was home and where life was lived. When she said ‘but no I think yes’ she was concertedly minimising any residual doubt she might have had; in this sense she narratively edited her account (Gubrium and Holstein 1998). She positively reinforced her comments by using the word ‘yes’ as a prefix to her statements to provide a convincing account (for herself as well as for me) of her life in Spain:

Celia – excerpt 4

We came out, thought sell our home go to Spain live here end of story. Alright in a bad moment you say ‘I’m going back, I’ve had enough today’ but quite honestly this is our home. This is our life now. I think, yes, I want to remain here; yes I want to carry on doing what I’m doing.

For those women who lived in Spain for part of the year, irrespective of whether they were happy with the arrangement or not, the UK was presented as home. Bernice talked about the UK as ‘home’ and Spain as ‘away’, and this appeared to be straightforward for her:

Bernice – excerpt 2

We’ve been home quite a bit because, for different occasions, you know but we, I can’t tell you exactly how much time we’ve been here, 3 months and other times about 6 weeks or something like that. If we stayed permanent I’d want to move again and it’d mean selling at home and I don’t want to sell well he don’t want to sell at home.

Therefore, belonging to place is complex and could work on several levels; being of and from different places raised questions of where home was for these women. ‘Home’ denoted the place to where the women felt the strongest attachment and in this way can be seen as being linked to representations of community. Some women had no intentions of ever returning to the UK to live. Mabel, being older than the other participants at 83, had even planned ahead for her burial in Spain and had no intention of ever going back to the UK. Here she positioned herself as an older person coming towards the end of her life:

Mabel

I’ve even arranged my funeral. I shall be buried on a shelf, just as in Italy. I pass it on the motorway; on the N332 (laughs) and I think that’s going to be my future home, all done and paid for.