[ → My Balloon Girl ← ]
"Speaking through words"
04
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"Pictures are really worth a thousand words, but you..you'reindescribable."
The door gently shut as Jessica let go of the knob. She breathed in a heavy sigh knowing we made it out as stealthily as possible without disturbing Taeyeon's sleep. Afterwards, Jessica took my hand and lead me out of the hospital.
The automatic doors opened as we exited and met a familiar face.
"Oh, Jessica hello. Did you just visit Taeyeon?" He had a small brown bag full of what I saw;
pencils and paper.
"Ah, hello." She made sure to give a small bow before speaking again. "Yes, I just visited Taeyeon. I talked to her and told her a bunch of stories, I think she got bored and fell asleep."
Jessica chuckled. "She's sleeping now."
"That's good." He turned to face me and introduced himself. "Hello, you're..?"
"Tiffany." I shined. "Tiffany Hwang, nice to meet you." Extending out a hand for a formal handshake, I retracted it quickly noticing his hands were full and bowed instead.
"I'm sorry." He apologized. "Carrying some stuff you see." He said lifting up the bags. "Taeyeon can't talk, or rather doesn't want to talk because she's afraid her voice scares people. So she writes instead. It's her way of speaking through words you see."
"Y'know. I still kept her notes she wrote to me everyday." Jessica piped up beginning a new conversation with Taeyeon's supposedly older brother.
"Wow, really? Did you keep all of them?"
"Yep!" Jessica smiled before continuing the conversation.
I got lost within 5 sentences of their conversation as I did not know what they were talking about. I did not share any memories with Taeyeon and felt as it was perfect for me to just stand
and listen. I peeped into his bag and found a blue envelope that camoflauged with the bright sky above.
It reminded me of the blue angel that written to me, and sparked a sudden idea to write back.
"H-hey." I hesistantly interrupted their conversation. "Sorry but..do you mind if I have some of your paper? And a pencil? Just for now, while you guys talk."
He considered my idea before handing me the utencils I requested for. They both went back inside the hospital to chat a little more, I decided to stay outside not comfortable with the depressing atmosphere the hospital gave me.
Next to the hospital was a garden for sick patients to enjoy. It was a beautiful sunny day and with nothing to do, I decided to stroll around and find a place to write.
After ambling around for a couple moments, I sat down and laid the paper on my lap.
I flicked the pencil, once, twice, thrice, clicking my tongue every so often, wondering what to write. The realistic fact that the chances this would go back to the Blue Angel was next to zero, but I felt it better to reply even if it was read or not.
Besides..I bet our life could be some romantic TV show if we do end up talking like this. I thought chuckling at a sudden fairytale story. After relaxing my mind for a while, I began to write.
♥♥♥♥
For aBlue Angel,,
I can't help but wonder, will this letter ever reach you? Or is this fate just playing games on us?
Nevertheless, I will continue to write.
Do you know my mom? Did you fall from heaven? Did she ask you to watch over me? If so..tell her I said Thank you..because..I think you're the best thing that ever happened in my life. Sorry I couldn't break your fall from heaven! Hehe. Am I being too weird? I just can't express how happy I am through words. It's pretty hard. But I just want to get to the point.
Thank you so much, Kim Taeyeon, for answering my letter. And Thank the lord that it came back to me. I was so close to committing suicide, so close. And you stopped me right in time!
How will I ever pay you back?
I'm still hoping this isn't a dream. I really hope that magic does exist, and fate and stuff like that.
I'm afraid to put anything personal on my letter, just in case my doubts are true, and I'm being played with.
But Taeyeon, I know, I just know, that this letter will come back to your hands. And when it does, I want to take this a step further.
Here's my number : 892 - 838- 1290
Text me? I know it's kind of weird..but I trust you. I want you to text me something you told me in your first letter, just so I know it's you. Please?
Please do this for me.
- Tiffany Hwang, A.K.A Pink Angel
I stared at the letter harshly, finally regretting those days I never bought a phone. With the letter in my hands, someone opened the door and I quickly glanced back.
"Taeyeon!" Jiwoong shrieked. "What are you doing up?!" Too frightened to talk, I stood still. He marched over to me and gave me a hug. "You're suppose to rest..how are you suppose to get well for Haeyeon's return..?" I felt a tingle in his grip and realized he was shaking. In reflex, I hugged him back and dug my head in his neck, quietly mumbling an apology.
He retracted back and smiled before leading me back to the hospital bed. When I laid down, he noticed the pink balloon in the corner.
"That balloon again?" He stood up and walked over. He grabbed it and tugged it towards me. "I thought your favorite color was blue?..Wait.." His eyes roamed all over the place. But he squinted and focused his attention on me. I gulped only feeling a burn in my throat and
coughing. He broke his concentration and sat by my side. He reached out for my hands, but felt a piece of paper instead.
"What's this?" He asked. Quickly, I hid the paper underneath my body. "Heey! That's not fair!
What is it?"
I shook my head rapidly, almost giving me a spinning headache. He pouted and frowned. I stuck my tongue out and pretended to go to sleep.
I could hear him sigh, but I knew he was smiling.
"Alright, you win this time. Grrrr! Guess I'll eat that ice cream all by myself.." I shot my eyes back open and frowned.
"Ah, just kidding just kidding!" Around this time, a door knock sounded. Shortly after, my mother popped her head in the door and said my name.
[♥♥♥]
"Dude." I glanced at Jessica with a 'what' face. Her hair was in a messy bun and her eyes reflected how tired she was. Her eyebrows slanted in a way as she stared at me. The soft breeze blew through her white T-Shirt and blue skirt. The wind blew unwanted pieces of hair in my face and I shook my head trying to get them out of the way.
"Yuh?" I replied dusting off sand on my lap before resuming back to eat the strawberry flavored ice cream cone.
"Did something happen?" She asked seriously.
"What do you mean?" I replied.
"I mean, since the hospital visit you've been kindaa....unusual?"
"What do you mean?" I repeated. I knew she was trying to sugarcoat her point. "Just tell me."
"I mean, after talking with Jiwoong oppa for a while, I remembered you were at the garden..so I went outside and found you weren't there. I searched all over the place for you." She licked her dry lips and continued. "Then suddenly I bumped into you at the gift store and you had a balloon.
Then you ran away again..Then came back really happy. And I mean..really happy." She eyed me suspiciously. "What's up?"
"I was happy cause it was a pink balloon..duh." I lied not sure how Jessica would react to me sending letters through balloons. But she smiled and nudged me softly. With her best friend instincts, she told me she knew I was lying.
"Come on..what's there to hide? You can tell me anything Tiff, ya know that right?"
"I know.." I stared back at my ice cream. "but there really isn't anything to hide."
"You sure?"
"I'm sure."
"Alright." She said dismissing the topic. "Anyways, what'd you think of my friend Taeyeon?
She's a lot more talkative than that, if it wasn't for the cancer.." She said sadly.
"I think she's cute." I blurted out unconciously. Jessica smiled and teased me a little, but I looked up at the sky and wondered for a while..
"Wait what'd you call her?" I asked.
"What you mean..like..her nickname Taengoo Bear?"
"No no no. I mean, her name."
"Oh, it's Taeyeon. Kim Taeyeon." I watched the name roll off her tongue. She continued talking about her fond memories about Taeyeon, but I lost interest after that.
Kim Taeyeon?
Why does the name seem so..
So important?
♥♥♥♥
Metronome
[ → My Balloon Girl ← ]
"Metronome"
05
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"I can't afford to go slow, because unlikeyou, time is something I don't have."
Another force crawled up my throat, making me cough heavily. I turned her head and coughed on the side, away from my brother's body. From the edge of my eyes, I saw my brother's physiognomy darken. I tried to smile for him, but I knew it wouldn't assuage his emotions.
"I've decided that I'll be an astronaut instead." He spoke. I shot him a perplexed stare. With my small pale hands, I imitated an airplane and quietly grumbled an engine sound. He did the same thing and crashed into my hand before taking it into his.
"I know, I know. I wanted to be a pilot but, I realize that being a pilot isn't going to be high enough to reach the stars and get us a wish." He pulled my hand up, now modeling it into a rocket. I watched him play with my hands. He lifted them again and swung them around.
"Vroom Vroom." He said.
I closed my eyes and suddenly began to imagine my brother as an astronaut. If he could do that, could he really wish upon a star? Would he be high enough so that angels could hear us?
...But aren't angels also on earth?
A pink balloon flew into my mind.
Haven't I met one already?
Thinking about that angel named Tiffany, I remembered the number she had written down. I faced my brother again and pointed at the notepad. He swiftly grabbed it and placed it gently on my lap. I proceeded to write.
He looked at it and then questioned, "A cellphone? Why do you want a cellphone all of a sudden?"
I tried to make up an excuse, abruptly remembering Jessica, I wrote something down again.
"Oh, to contact Jessica?" I nodded.
He seemed curious for a while before shrugging it off. He got up, cracked his back and knuckles, and then smiled. "Alright, I'll get you a cellphone."
♥♥♥♥
A sudden shockwave of pain struck my right foot as I stomped onto the ground below. I clenched my teeth to prevent me from yelping in pain. I rushed, limping most of the time, back into my bedroom. I shut the door behind me and rested.
Before I could even move, my door swayed open. I stood still as a statue as my father stepped into the view.
He grunted, his usual expression towards me, and looked down.
"Come downstairs." He commanded. My heart felt heavy. He would only come to my room if I had did something wrong.
Oh crap!
Sweat prickled down my forehead. A lump was rising in my throat.
Did he find out I've been going out with Jessica?
I swallowed, hoping it would take my nervousness away. He began to retreat behind the door. He then said, "Dinners ready."
The door shut quietly and gently, completely unlike his nature. I blinked. Once. Twice. Thrice.
Did he really just invite me to dinner?
I started to wonder if everything was just a dream.
I walked downstairs slowly, simultaneously gliding my fingers across the wooden railings. I turned the corner once the stairway ended and found myself looking at my family sitting down at our dining table.
My father sat at the very end with a solo seat with my brother sitting by him on the opposite side of my sister. There were 3 other empty chairs. I cautiously sat down next to my brother, leaving two other seats empty. I stared at the end seat, suddenly realizing I was forgetting what my mother looked like...
"Tiffany." My father half-shouted half-whispered. "Will you say grace?" Michelle and Leo folded their hands and bowed their head. I sat there with a million thoughts running through my mind. I hadn't really eaten with my family because my father never allowed me too. They would all eat together. I'd wait until they were done. Then I'd come downstairs and eat their leftovers. I never knew the routine and I wasn't quite sure how to say 'grace'.
I stared at the empty chair even longer. Eventually, my brother took the lead and said it for me.
Dinner then started.
♥
"Here," He sneaked me a piece of his burger. "Eat up before mom and dad come back home!" He placed the sloppy dish people called a 'hamburger' by my lips. I opened wide and took a bite. I was suppose to be on a diet, considering how my lungs seemed to be infecting other parts of my body as well, but I was hungry and craving. My brother took pity and helped me eat secretly.
The door started beeping. My brother stuffed the burger into my mouth and chugged down my nasty seaweed soup. Right as my mother stepped in, he placed the bowl onto the table.
"Oh? You ate the soup. That's good." My mother smiled. Jiwoong nudged me and winked. I gave a faint smile.
"As a reward for finishing the soup, I got you something Taengoo." She placed her shopping bags next to me and ordered me to look through it. I opened it and found myself looking at a brand new phone.
It wasn't anything grand. I didn't want to be selfish and make my parents buy me a phone worth hundreds considering how I only wanted it for one reason. They knew all I wanted to do was text, and so they got me one with a big keypad. I gave them a big smile and jumped up to hug them.
Mother and Jiwoong got into a cute argument over washing the dishes before I escaped into my room to get the letter with a pink angel's phone number.
Often times, I played with Jiwoong's phone, so technology like this wasn't new to me. Other than saving Jessica's number, I saved my new given number under the name, "Angel". Though she had clearly written her name down and signed it, I felt it wasn't appropriate for what she had done for me.
Now..how would I start off the conversation?
♥
The floors creaked underneath my feet when I was on my way back to my room upstairs when I saw a small glim of light shining. It was my father's study room. It creaked open just a tiny bit, which was new to me. I knew he wanted privacy and would always close it. Sometimes even lock it.
I stopped walking and looked at the door. I wanted to thank my father for doing something I wasn't allowed to do before. And the open door seemed like an invitation. I stepped back down and walked towards the door, giving it a slight knock.
"Come in." He immediately answered. Its as if he knew I was going to knock. Was he waiting for me? I peeked my head through, not daring to step inside. I couldn't bring myself to look at him in the eyes as fear once shook my body.
"T-Thank you..f-for l-letting.." Before I could finish my sentence, he replied. "You're welcome.
Anything else?" I noticed a certain photo neatly placed on the middle of his desk. It was a photo of my mother. Forcing myself to look at him in the eye, I noticed his red, puffed-up eyes. His mouth twiched and for a second, I thought I saw grimace.
Suddenly the idea of my father being a complete monster was gone. Even after the beatings I had received from him, the threats, I knew deep inside, he was still my father.
But I would never understand his position.
Not until I understand love anyway.
With my utmost courage, I told him again. "No, thank you." Then I saw him do something I had never seen him do before.
He cried.
It scared me a little. I had always seen my father as a uptight frightening man who solved problems with violence. It confused me, seeing him, a grown man, sob. Fathers weren't suppose to cry.
With his voice breaking he told me, "I miss your mother."
I held onto the doorknob, leaning my entire weight on it but careful not to open the door too much. I wasn't quite sure what to say. I hesistated and replied quietly, "Yeah...me too."
He cried some more and I decided to leave his presence. I wasn't quite ready to hug him. I couldn't imagine what his reaction would be. I felt we weren't ready to forgive each other that way yet. His sobs echoed throughout the house and into my room.
Lying awake in bed that night, I thought about my past and tried to remember any fun times. I found myself giggling a moment later at embarrassing moments that happened to me. Just as I began to fall asleep..my phone rang shortly. I received a message.
My LED clock shined in the darkness of that room. It was still early technically, 9 o' clock it read. I wondered on who it could be, perhaps it was Jessica texting me our plans for tomorrow.
We never got tired of each other, and as she lived in the city for the last couple years, we still had a lot to catch up on.
Drowsily, I grabbed my phone and squinted at the bright screen.
An unknown number.
Bored and already awake, I pressed on the message.
It began with Dear Pink Angel,
Dear Pink Angel...
...I already don't like this. I can't write in blue like I always do! How do you change the color?!
Well. I think you've noticed by now, it's your dear blue angel. I got your letter and number.
I guess we don't have to send balloons anymore huh?
I don't think it's no coincidence we continually got each other's letters..it's a miracle. And things happen for a reason right?
I want to be friends with you more, Tiffany. My name is Taeyeon. Kim Taeyeon. I don't know what else to write...please reply?
Oh and please don't call me...
Taeyeon. That name again. It seems so familiar but it stuck to the back of my head. The message arrived roughly 4 minutes ago. Was she still awake? Quickly, I texted back a reply and saved her number.
I can't believe it's really you! I'm glad my phone number went to you instead of some old creep. How come I can't call you? I want to formally
introduce myself, but I feel like we're already friends. It's weird. You can call me Tiffany just fine, and I'll call you Taeyeon. No more Blue Angel or Pink Angel?
introduce myself, but I feel like we're already friends. It's weird. You can call me Tiffany just fine, and I'll call you Taeyeon. No more Blue Angel or Pink Angel?