It is a sad fact of life that divorce has become an all-too-common occurrence. Many marriages that began with joy and hope end in bitter separation. Unfortunately, the Church is not immune to this problem.
As with marriage, many view the Church’s position on divorce and remarriage as archaic and unrealistic. But the Church’s position is nothing more than the direct teaching of Christ. In Luke 16:18 we hear Jesus saying: “Everyone who divorces his
wife and marries commits adultery, and he who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery.”
Paul says essentially the same thing in Romans 7:2-3: “Thus a married woman is bound by law to her husband as long as he lives; but if her husband dies she is discharged from the law concerning the husband. Accordingly, she will be called an
adulteress if she lives with another man while her husband is still alive. But if her husband dies she is free from that law,
and if she marries another man she is not an adulteress.”
When confronted with this evidence, those who object will often turn to Matthew 5:31 where Jesus says: “It was also said, ’whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife,
except on the ground of unchastity, makes her an adulteress; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”
And so the reasoning goes, if my spouse cheats on me I am free to divorce and remarry. But that is not the case. The Greek word that is translated as “unchastity” is porneia (πορνεια) which can mean harlotry, adultery, incest, or fornication. In determining how Jesus uses the word there are a couple of things we need to consider. First of all you cannot have Jesus contradicting himself by making no exceptions for one group (Luke 16:18) and then allowing them for another (Matthew 5:31).
Second, let’s look at this logically. If the critics are correct in their interpretation of Matthew 5:31 then divorce for any
reason is permissible. Think about it, if a couple wants a divorce all that would be necessary is for one or both of them to go
out and have an affair. In effect God would be promoting adultery. This might be a good way to fill the church on Sunday morning, but somehow I don’t think it would be very pleasing to God. The Church has always seen the word unchastity as referring to an invalid marriage such as a couple who are living together. They can divorce or separate because they were never married in the first place.
Marriage is a bond established by God. Jesus revealed this to us in Mark 10:6-9: “But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one. What therefore God has joined together, let no man put asunder”
These may be tough words but they are the words of Christ Himself. While it is important to understand what they mean, it is also important to understand what they don’t mean. It is true that the bonds of a valid marriage can never be broken short of death. However, there may be occasions when it becomes necessary for a couple to separate, for instance in the case of an abusive spouse. If there is any threat to the well being of one of the spouses or the children, a separation would constitute the best course of action. However, even in such a case remarriage would not be possible. Paul makes this very clear in his first letter to the Corinthians where he writes: “To the married I give charge, not I but the Lord, that the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does, let her remain single or else be reconciled to her husband) and that the husband should not divorce the wife” (1 Corinthians 7:10-11).
In certain cases there can be exceptions. If a problem was so serious that divorce was the only solution, there is a good chance that it existed before the marriage. This could prevent the marriage from being valid. If such is the case, the Church can annul the marriage and the innocent party would then be free to remarry.
Annulment
Quite often you will hear an annulment described as a Catholic divorce. But an annulment and a divorce are two different things. Divorce dissolves a marriage while an annulment is a recognition that a sacramental marriage (valid in the eyes of the Church) never existed. The Church does recognize, however, that a civil marriage (valid in the eyes of the state) did exist. In order for a marriage to be valid in the eyes of the Church, both parties must be aware of what constitutes a sacramental marriage. They must also be free, willing and capable of entering into such a commitment. Sometimes, despite the best of intentions, a couple is deficient in one or more of these areas. It is not unusual for such a couple to be unaware of this at the time they are married. This, of course, illustrates why careful preparation before marriage is so important. Consequently, an annulment proceeding is concerned with the situation as it existed at the time the marriage took place. Subsequent events are important only insofar as they shed light on relevant conditions that may have pre-existed the marriage. If serious problems were present at the beginning of the marriage, there is a good chance that they were present before the marriage. Of course this must never be assumed. However, if such was the case it could have been an impediment to a valid marriage. The grounds necessary for an annulment can in no way be construed as a way out of a valid marriage. A valid marriage can never be annulled, “What therefore God has joined together, let no man put asunder” (Mark 10:9).
There are a number of reasons why a marriage could be declared invalid. They can be divided into two types of cases, Formal and Documentary. Within the Formal category the most practical grounds are divided into three sub categories: (1)
Psychological (2) Simulation of Consent (3) Force and Fear. Under psychological grounds a variety of factors are considered. Both parties must be able to grasp and assume the responsibilities of a lifelong commitment. Both must be mature, financially responsible, free from mental illness, and possess a sufficient use of reason. Additionally, spouses must have the ability to cope with ordinary stresses. Homosexuality would also be considered under this category.
Under Simulation of Consent both parties must be open to all that marriage entails. Both must enter marriage with the intention to be faithful. Both must be open to the possibility of children. If either party excludes from the beginning any essential element of marriage, the marriage is invalid. In order for valid consent to take place you must be aware of what is required and you must agree to it internally and externally.
Under Force and Fear both parties must give their consent freely. No one should marry because of any outside threat or pressure. For example, marriage is not something to be used as an escape from abusive parents. Neither is it to be seen as a necessary result of pre-marital pregnancy.
Within the Documentary category we find two sub categories: (1) Defect of Form, and (2) Previous Bond. Concerning Defect of Form, the Catholic Church has a set of requirements for what constitutes a proper marriage ceremony. If the specified procedures are not followed, the marriage is not considered to be valid. For instance: if a couple was married by a Justice of the Peace and at least one of the parties was Catholic, the marriage would be invalid. If the marriage took place before a non- Catholic minister without the permission of the bishop, the marriage would also be invalid. As for Previous Bond, a Catholic with a previous valid marriage may not contract another marriage while the first spouse is still alive.
You do not have to worry about confronting a former spouse during the annulment process. In fact the vast majority of cases involve only the submission of paperwork by your parish priest. Also, the granting of an annulment does nothing to affect the legitimacy of any children produced by the marriage. Finally, the fee charged for an annulment does not even cover the cost of the process and is usually much lower than one would expect. If a petitioner cannot pay, the case will still go through. So cost should never be an excuse for not seeking an annulment.
In this essay I have dealt with the annulment process in general terms. Anyone considering the process should explore the subject in more detail with a parish priest.
Abortion
There are a variety of reasons given to justify an abortion. They include such things as I can’t afford a baby, a baby would interfere with my career, I have enough children, and the doctor said if we have this child it will be handicapped. We are told that every child should be a wanted child.
But does any of this really matter? The real question is not whether a child is wanted; the real question is whether or not what is growing inside the mother is a living child. If it is not a living child, a woman should be allowed to have as many abortions as she wants. However, if it is a living child, it should be allowed to live. If it is wrong to kill a ten year old because he/she is not wanted, it is wrong to kill a baby because he/she is not wanted.
Many abortion proponents will claim that a fetus is just a blob of tissue. Therefore, its elimination is no more significant than cutting and discarding ones own fingernails. Of course this raises some curious questions. If a fetus is just a blob of tissue why don’t abortion proponents show pictures of this blob to debunk the arguments of pro-lifers? And why is it that abortion providers prefer that women not see their ultrasounds?
The answer to both questions is obvious. A fetus is not just a blob of tissue. When women see their ultrasounds, they realize they are carrying a baby with moving arms and legs. Consequently, they are much less likely to end its life. In an article entitled Saved by Sonogram which appeared in “Christianity Today,” Mark Stricherz reported the following:
Evidence that ultrasound helps to persuade women not to abort came in an unpublished study by Eric Keroack, medical director of “A Woman's Concern,” a CPC in Boston. Keroack compared two 18-month periods in the crisis pregnancy center's history and kept data only on women who expressed interest in abortion. Without a sonogram, about 60 percent of 366 tracked women had abortions. But with a sonogram, 25 percent of 434 tracked women aborted. He estimated that 125 babies were born who would otherwise have been aborted.
Abortion providers prefer to keep women ignorant of what is going on inside of them. That’s because being truthful would
mean less money in their pockets. One woman at a Dallas Planned Parenthood clinic was told that she couldn’t see her
ultrasound because, “That will only make it harder on you.” Why would viewing a blob of tissue make it harder for a woman to deal with an abortion?
The evidence, which abortion providers are very much aware of, indicates that a pregnant woman carries within her something much more than a blob of tissue. For instance:
Immediately upon fertilization, cellular development begins. Before implantation the sex of the new life can be determined. At implantation, the new life is composed of hundreds of cells and has developed a protective hormone to prevent the mother's body from rejecting it as a foreign tissue.
At 17 days, the new life has developed its own blood cells; the placenta is a part of the new life and not of the mother. At 18 days, there are occasional pulsations of a muscle which will become the heart. At 19 days, the eyes start to develop. At 20 days, the foundation of the entire nervous system has been laid down. At 24 days, the heart has regular beats or pulsations. At 28 days, 40 pairs of muscles are developed along the trunk of the new life; arms and legs are forming.
At 30 days, there is regular blood flow within the vascular system; the ears and nasal development have begun. At 40 days, the heart energy output is reported to be almost 20% of an adults. At 42 days the skeleton is complete and the reflexes are present. At 43 days, electrical brain wave patterns can be recorded. This is usually ample evidence that "thinking" is taking place in the brain. The new life may be thought of as a thinking person. At 49 days, the baby has the appearance of a miniature doll with complete fingers, toes and ears.
At 56 days all organs are functioning - stomach, liver, kidney, brain - all systems are intact. The baby has lines in its palms. All future development of new life is simply that of refinement and increase in size
which ends with full maturity (approximately 23 years). A new life exists with all of its parts needing only nourishment. This is approximately two months before "quickening."
In the 9th & 10th week, the baby squints, swallows and retracts its tongue. In the 11th & 12th week its arms and legs move, the baby sucks its thumb, inhales and exhales amniotic fluid, and nails begin appearing. At 16 weeks (four months), genital organs can be clearly differentiated; the baby grasps with its hands, swims, kicks and turns somersaults (still not felt by mother).
At 18 weeks, the vocal cords work. The baby can cry. At 20 weeks, hair appears on the head; weight - one pound; height - 12 inches. A fetus (little one, child, baby) is essentially no different at fertilization, ten weeks, twenty weeks or thirty weeks. A person is a person, no matter how small.
(Adapted from “Diary of an Unborn Child” Knights of Columbus 1993)
Babies in the womb are responsive to pain and touch and cold and sound and light. They drink their amniotic fluid, more if it is artificially sweetened, less if it is given an unpleasant taste. They get hiccups and suck their thumbs. They wake and sleep (A. Liley, A Case Against Abortion, Liberal Studies Whitcombe & Tombs, Ltd., 1971).
Some say that we shouldn’t tell a woman what to do with her body. Fair enough. But we are not talking about the woman’s body. We are talking about the baby’s body. In an abortion a human baby is forced to die against its will.
Others justify abortion by claiming that babies in the womb are not viable. They define viable as being capable of
independent existence. By that definition a one year old baby is not viable and neither are some handicapped adults. Such a standard should not be used as an excuse to end a life. A baby in the womb is fully alive and fully human and therefore should be allowed to live.
Abortion providers not only victimize babies but their mothers as well. It is not unusual for an abortion to cause physical complications. Complications such as infections, bleeding, blood clots, perforation of the uterus or bowel, and many others. Depression and lifelong guilt (Post-Abortive Syndrome) are also not uncommon.
Women who have abortions have a higher rate of premature births with subsequent pregnancies. When a baby is born full term the cervix is soft and opens relatively easy. However, before the baby is full term the cervix is firm and must be forced open to perform an abortion. This can damage the cervix leaving it weaker for future pregnancies. It is true that measures are usually taken to avoid such damage but they are not always successful. Full term delivery and adoption is still the safest route for the mother who carries an “unwanted” baby.
But what about women who become pregnant through rape? First of all, such instances are rare. Secondly, Re-victimizing the woman and killing her child is not the answer. As we saw earlier, abortion carries with it many dangers, both physical and psychological. Many rape victims who have had abortions end up being more depressed over the abortion than the rape. Professor Stephen Krason points out that "psychological studies have shown that, when given the proper support, most pregnant rape victims progressively change their attitudes about their unborn child from something repulsive to someone who is innocent and uniquely worthwhile" (Abortion: Politics, Morality, and the Constitution, Lanham, MD: University Press of America, 1984, p. 284).
Unfortunately, all too many of our elected officials support the abortion industry in the interest of getting elected. They portray themselves as caring and compassionate but in reality they are nothing more than eloquent barbarians. They knowingly and willingly cooperate in the business of misleading and victimizing young women. What a sad turn of events. At one time kissing babies would get you votes. Now killing them does.