At one time or another, all children challenge us with their behavior. Helping children gain self-control is an integral part of your family day care that provides important opportunities to teach children a variety of skills. Through your guidance, you help children learn to manage their behavior and support their social development. Keep in mind that how you guide children’s behavior is based on the child’s age and developmental stage. The techniques you use with an 18-month-old child are very different than those you use with a six-year-old child. Effective and caring discipline helps children learn limits and self-control. This process happens over time and develops as each child:
• learns how to manage and express his/her feelings appropriately;
• gains the ability to understand the consequences of his/her behavior and
• learns to see situations from another child’s perspective.
417.9(a) The family day care provider must establish written disciplinary guidelines and provide copies of these guidelines to all caregivers and parents. These guidelines must include acceptable methods of guiding the behavior of children. Discipline must be administered in such a way as to help each child develop self-control and assume responsibility for his or her actions through clear and consistent rules and limits appropriate to the ages and development of the children in care. The caregiver must use acceptable techniques and approaches to help children solve problems.
As with all areas of your program, families are essential partners in your disciplinary plans. Discuss your discipline policies with parents and give them a written copy to see that they understand what to expect.
Your caring relationship with each child in care is an important part of effective discipline. You need to understand the children’s individual temperaments, play and social skills, likes and dislikes, and developmental stages. This will enable you to set appropriate limits and to choose effective child guidance strategies.
Discipline Standards
Be sure your expectations of behavior are reasonable for each child in care. Appropriate guidance strategies are based on the children’s developmental stages and abilities. Consequences for children should reflect their developmental stage and their understanding of how their behavior affects themselves and
417.9(b) Any discipline used must relate to the child’s action and be handled without prolonged delay on the part of the caregiver so that the child is aware of the relationship between his or her actions and the consequences of those actions.
others. Use behavior issues as opportunities to teach children to get along with others, resolve conflicts and accept differences. You cannot “discipline” an infant. It is important to respond to a baby’s needs so that he learns that his cues will be answered and develops a basic sense of trust, knowing adults will respond to him.
417.9(c) Isolating a child in a closet, darkened area, or any area where the child cannot be seen and supervised by the caregiver is prohibited.
The standards of appropriate discipline have changed over time. Although many adults were punished with spankings and other methods of punishment, we now know these actions are not effective in the long run and can be damaging to children, both physically and emotionally. Discipline techniques must never include shaking, hitting, withholding food or rest, biting, washing a child’s mouth out with soap (or anything else), yelling, frightening or demeaning a child in any way. Punishment that harms a child physically or emotionally must never be used. When working with families, you may need to help them understand that these methods are not allowed in your program—both by regulation and by current theories of child development. Keep in mind your responsibilities as a mandated reporter of child abuse and maltreatment. See “Protecting and Promoting Children’s Health” on page 71 in this handbook for more information on child abuse and maltreatment.
417.9(d) Where a child’s behavior harms or is likely to result in harm to the child, others or property, or seriously disrupts or is likely to seriously disrupt group interaction, the child may be separated briefly from the group, but only for as long as is necessary for the child to regain enough self-control to rejoin the group. The child must be placed in an area where he or she is in the view of, and can be supervised and supported by, the caregiver. Interaction between the caregiver and the child must take place immediately following the separation to guide the child toward appropriate group behavior. Separation of a child from the group in a manner other than that provided for in this subdivision is prohibited.
417.9(e) Corporal punishment is prohibited. For the purposes of this Part, the term corporal punishment means punishment inflicted directly on the body including, but not limited to, spanking, biting, shaking, slapping, twisting or squeezing; demanding excessive physical exercise, prolonged lack of movement or motion, or strenuous or bizarre postures; and compelling a child to eat or have in the child’s mouth soap, foods, hot spices or other substances.
417.9(f) Withholding or using food, rest or sleep as a punishment is prohibited.
417.9(g) Discipline may be administered only by the caregiver.
417.9(h) Methods of discipline, interaction or toilet training which
frighten, demean or humiliate a child are prohibited.
417.10(a) Any abuse or maltreatment of a child, either as an incident of discipline or otherwise, is prohibited. A family day care home must prohibit and may not tolerate or in any manner condone an act of abuse or maltreatment by an employee, volunteer or any other person under the provider’s control. An abused child or maltreated child means a child defined as an abused child or maltreated child pursuant to section 412 of the Social Services Law.