BOLETÍN OFICIAL DEL ESTADO - BOLETÍN OFICIAL DEL ESTADO

Chapter 3: Unattractive Characteristics

Women leave their boyfriends and husbands because the attraction disappears, and there are several key reasons why attraction fades.

I guarantee you that the reason your

relationship ended was because you showed at least one of these fatal characteristics (which I’ll list

below). These are things that repel women.

All of these traits, not surprisingly, are caused primarily by insecurity. These are what I like to call The Six Deadly Sins in a relationship.

1.) Being way too controlling. Women hate it when their man puts weird and unrealistic restraints on their lives. This means he won’t let her talk to other guys or even hang out with her friends. The root cause of this behavior is fear – fear of losing his girlfriend or fear that she will find a better man. Sometimes the more controlling a man can get over his girlfriend, the less control he’ll

2.) Having low self-esteem. Always being down and depressed is very unattractive. A lot of men are self-demeaning in a humorous manner, but if self-esteem is a serious issue, then don’t be surprised that your girlfriend left you. If you think your self-esteem problem runs deeper than most, it might the time to go the doctor – depression is the type of thing that could very well be something that’s beyond your control.

3.) Being “clingy” or always needing

attention. If you think your lady likes it when you constantly call her/text her/message her… then you’re wrong. Space is extremely important in

creating attraction. I mean, chances are you’ve probably been on the other

side of the coin – haven’t you ever had a girl constantly barrage you with text messages and phone calls? Were you attracted to this girl? Chances are, you

©2014 The Ex Factor Guide by Brad Browning Page 39 probably weren’t. High value men never need human interaction because they receive an abundance of it from a variety of people every day. So don’t tell her you love her too much… tell her only when she deserves it.

4.) Being jealous all the time. Maybe you really don’t like how she’s hanging out with her friends… or maybe one of her guy co-workers is getting to you. If you let this genuinely get to you, you are communicating to your girlfriend in an indirect way that she has more value than you. Jealousy is the ultimate form of insecurity.

If you’re the jealous type (and unfortunately, sometimes you can’t control these emotions) then force yourself to make it seem that you aren’t jealous. You need to take on the attitude that “other men are completely harmless because you are higher value than all of them.” Most of the time, if you were good enough to attract your girlfriend in the first place, this will be true… so you really have nothing to worry about. 99% of the time, jealousy is completely unjustified. There’s a great quote about relationships in the movie ‘40 Year Old Virgin’:

“Don’t put the pussy on the pedestal.” In other words, don’t make your girlfriend your whole entire life. Make it so that you have other things you care about

5.) Seeking external validation. Powerful, desirable men never seek validation from others. They live life on their own terms and they don’t care what others think of them. This is incredibly attractive. The complete opposite, however, isn’t.

Maybe you’ve asked your girlfriend things like, “Do you really love me? How much? Do you think I’m lean/muscular enough? Is my penis big enough for you? Did you have a good time with me?”

By asking these questions to your girlfriend, you are simply sub-communicating to her that you’re not sure if you’re good enough for her (otherwise you wouldn’t be asking these questions in the first place). You’re going to have to live with the fact that you’re not perfect – nobody is. The attractive thing to do is to just simply accept who you are and be comfortable in your own skin.

6.) Cheating. I hope I don’t have to really explain why this is an incredibly

unattractive trait for a man to have. Have you ever been cheated on? If you have, then I’m very sorry. It is indeed a terrible feeling… and it’s a feeling that you

©2014 The Ex Factor Guide by Brad Browning Page 41 time. But quite often, the reason women cheat is because their partner or spouse was demonstrating one or more of these Six Deadly Sins that I’ve just talked about – that is, being clingy, having low self-esteem, being jealous, being

controlling, seeking external validation, and being unfaithful. It’s either that, or you simply haven’t exhibited enough of the attractive qualities mentioned earlier in this book.

This list of unattractive qualities is certainly not exhaustive.

Sometimes, constant disagreements can be the root of the problem. This is a common killer of relationships. Most arguments that ultimately kill

relationships relate to appreciation, or

the lack of it. Women need to feel appreciated by their men. When the feeling of appreciation dissipates, this will lead to conflict and argument.

Regardless of the reasons that led to fading attraction, the effects are always the same: your girlfriend will feel less attracted to you and thus, she’ll start to care less.

©2014 The Ex Factor Guide by Brad Browning Page 42 Remember these words: “The person that cares least in the relationship has the most control.” Right now, I am guessing that your girlfriend broke up with you against your own will. And as of right now, she has all the power… because she cares less than you do.

Do you remember when your relationship with her first started? Everything was probably really awesome, wasn’t it? You were confident, flirtatious, funny, and most likely, very attractive. You didn’t have the chance to show your insecurities because everything was new. You knew she was into you and you were happy with yourself.

Over time, things began to change. Maybe you caught her having a really good “conversation” with one of her best guy friends. Or maybe one of her guy friends keeps contacting her. You started to worry, so you started breaking down and acting like a wuss. You started committing at least one of the Six Deadly Sins and she began to lose interest in you. Because she lost attraction for you, she began to care less about you. And thus, the “balance of power” began to shift in her favor.

We need to work on shifting the balance of power, and this is what the next few chapters will concentrate on.

Featured Customer Coaching Question

Real Email Exchanges From Past Customers (Names Changed For Privacy)

“Have I Already Made Too Many Mistakes?”

Question Sent By: Christie L.

“Hi Brad, I've read your ebook multiple times - I feel I have done so much damage that I really have no hope of getting my ex back - he has raised my 2 year old since he was 6 months and I am now 4 months along with his child, but he wants nothing to do with us - I've tried endless to talk to him, not even get back together talk but just to involve him with appointments and not and he still just tells me to fuck off and that he hates me because I make him look stupid because I texted another guy - and he uses this as his excuse as breaking up with me - he told me last night he would still have been with me, if I didn't text another guy (someone I don't even know - I just invited him over while I was fighting with my ex although he never came over and I never spoke to the person again) and that I've taken his family from him.

He's spends all his time chasing his best friend (female) around because her husband is in the marines and over in Afghanistan - And she tells him not be with me, He's dumps all over me and my kids and puts her kids above mine - it's not normal to me and I find it hard to deal with. My question is, How do you know when there's too much damage to fix it anymore.

He's using the excuse of me talking to randoms as the excuse for leaving me, how is me posting photos of me with random guys going to make him want me back, when that's why he says he left in the first place.

Thanks Brad!! Christie L.”

“Take His Words With A Grain of Salt…”

Brad Browning’s Reply To Question From Christie L. “Hi Christie,

What you need to realize first is that the reason he left you isn't because of you texting random guys. It's because your attraction level with him in the first place just isn't high enough. The texting incident is just a lame and pathetic excuse for him to leave (but don't tell him this directly, of course).

Obviously, what you need to be doing right now is not contact him for now. You need to take care of yourself and spend time with your child. When are you due?

You need to show how much fun you are having with your family and ignore him for now. Yes, you need to stop looking like you're dating multiple guys, but at the same time, you need to show the world that you're happy. That means spending time with your girlfriends, going out, and making it seem like to him that he's missing out.

Eventually, he is going to want to see his child and tend to his mother -- that’s the decent thing to do. Once this happens, we will work on patching things up with him permanently. But if he doesn’t even want to attempt to take care of his child, then cutting him loose is probably the best option anyways.

Hope that helps! -Brad B.”

In document BOLETÍN OFICIAL DEL ESTADO (página 21-35)