Black, et al. (2001) argue that maltreating parents have distorted beliefs and unrealistic expectations regarding the developmental capacities of their children; they might not have an understanding of age appropriate child behaviour and their own behaviour when they are interacting with their children. This could contribute to anger feelings in parents, child behaviour problems and the use of harsh punishment (Slep & O‟ Leary, 1998).
According to Dawes, et al. (2004) studies have indicated that women are more likely to use corporal punishment than men, due to the fact that women often play the main role in child care and that they are more likely than men to discipline children.
Louw & Louw (2007:134) state that when both husband and wife believe that their husbands are able to nurture their infants, the more time the fathers will spend in terms of caring. Horne & Sayger (2000) maintain that the social learning models emphasize how learning takes place within a social environment, whereas one person such as the parent observes, reacts and interacts with other people such as the child. Through this social context children learn ways of behaving as the result of the consequences which follow their behaviour. According to Patterson (1986) this model assumes that dysfunctional child and parent behaviours involuntarily strengthen one another and maintain coercive patterns of family interaction.
According to Louw & Louw (2007: 133) if a mother‟s life becomes positive, the mother will be able to establish a more positive relationship with her child. However, this secure
27 attachment may change into an insecure attachment when there is a change in the child‟s circumstances, for example, divorce or abuse. They argue that in the past, fathers were viewed as substitutes for mothers due to the fact that it was assumed that children spend most of the time with their mothers (Louw & Louw, 2007:134). Fathers may physically care for their children; just as well as mothers. However, in traditional homes mothers take on a nurturing role, whilst fathers would play with their children. Furthermore, the notion of viewing mothers as caregivers and fathers as a playmate has changed; this is due to women‟s employment in the labour market. Employed mothers tend to become more involved in the playful stimulation of their children, while the fathers contribute more to the caregiving role. Louw & Louw (2007:134) maintain that when fathers are the primary caregivers, they hold on to their highly arousing play style.
Finkelhore (1994: 48) maintains that parents may supervise boys less closely and other potential reporters may be less likely to suspect abuse of males or respond to disclosures made by male victims. Research has shown that boys find it harder than girls to talk to their parents (Murrin & Martin, 2004:86). Furthermore, children of all ages are more comfortable confiding in their mother than their father. Murrin & Martin (2004: 87) continue by saying that children who are good communicators tend to form a stronger bond with their parents and other adults figures in their life. Research has indicated that good communicators are more easily accepted by their peers, do better at school and are less likely to fall into drug or alcohol abuse (Murrin & Martin, 2004: 87).
Risk factors for child abuse are those elements of the child‟s environment related to parental inadequacy, unavailability, conflict and a poor parent-child relationship in identifying potential risk for the child. Taylor (1994) states that busy professional parents
28 are sometimes so absorbed by their careers and personal interests, that they are detached from close involvement in their children‟s lives. Abused children are often children separated from their parents or children whose parents have problems that substantially compromise their ability to supervise or attend to their children (Finkelhore, 1994: 48).
Parents‟ ability to control their anger, when they are alone or when faced with parental stress, has been linked to the increased potential child abuse (Ammerman, 1990, Rodriguez & Green, 1997, Thompson, et al., 1999). Increasing parental self-efficacy to regulate their anger and negative emotion could assist maltreating parents from losing control and harming their children (Stern & Azar, 1998).
Research done in the Western Cape by the Human Science Research Council (HSRC) South African Social Attributes Survey (SASAS) in 2003 indicated that of the women who used a strap, a belt, or a stick to hit their children, 40% admitted doing this to their children who were under the age of three years. This was a cause for concern, because children were being placed at risk of serious injury by the use of disciplinary practice (Dawes, et al., 2006:50).
Louw & Louw (2007) maintain that parents who have a traditional view in terms of gender roles encourage clear gender typical behaviour in their children. Children of these parents also distinguish at an earlier stage between male and female roles. Furthermore, these scholars argue that fathers play an important role in their children‟s gender-typed behaviour. Fathers are responsible for reinforcing masculine behaviour in their sons and mothers for the feminine behaviour in their daughters. In contrast mothers tend to treat their children similarly (Louw & Louw, 2007:189). According to Louw & Louw (2007:187) research has indicated that children, girls in particular, have less stereotyped
29 ideas in terms of family roles, careers and toys when their mothers are employed in the labour market.
There are various factors which influence women when they discover their child has been sexually abused. Research suggests that women are somewhat less likely to be supportive when the abuser is their current partner than when he is in any other relationship to them (De Long, 1988, Faller, 1988, Everson, et al., 1989, Sirles and Franke, 1989, Gomes-Schwartz, et al., 1990) and also where the abuser is the child‟s father (De Jong, 1988, Gomes-Schwartz et al., 1990). According to Sanders, et al. (2001) a survey in Queensland found that 70% of parents with children under the age of 12 years make use of smacking at least occasionally, 3% hit their children with an object rather than their hand and 25% of the parents are in disagreement with their partners over parenting issues. Furthermore, women who had a caring relationship with their children were most likely to be concerned and protective of their children. Women who formerly felt hostile to or overburdened by their children, are likely to be angry and unsupportive towards their children.
Faller (1988) maintains that not all mothers protect their children, which makes the women‟s role as primary protectors in relation to child abuse problematic for both women and children. Regardless of the mother‟s response once she knows of the sexual abuse committed by another, the parent-child relationship is often damaged due to the abuse. Furthermore, many children harbour feelings of anger and betrayal toward their mothers, because they might feel that their mothers did not protect them from abuse. For example, girls who are sexually abused by their fathers are often angrier with their mothers than with the abusers. These responses are partly the result of children‟s
30 fantasies that their mothers are all-knowing and all powerful, which derives from their early experience of total dependence (Faller, 1988).
Research by Lisak (1991) suggests that it is children‟s total dependence on women in early childhood which leads later, for boys, to a need to define themselves in opposition to women and that this is reduced by the father‟s involvement in child rearing. Though it may well be the boy‟s expectations (or the lack of them) of having a future nurturing role in relation to children themselves which is most significant. Johnson (1988) states that there is convincing evidence that male aggression relating to distancing from women and the objectification of women is fostered in the male peer group rather than in the mother-son relationship.
According to Van Niekerk (2003:13) with the problem of domestic violence, mothers who are victims of domestic violence are often unable to protect their children from sexual assault. Often there is no recognition of either the role mothers may play in protecting children from both physical and sexual abuse by fathers or stepfathers, or the difficulties they face in doing so when they are often victimized by and dependent on these men themselves. These women are expected to protect their children from violent men with little help from state agencies and risk losing their children when they fail.
Parent and child interactions are vital in preparing a child for learning, for example, by means of talking to the child, listening attentively to the child and having daily conversations with the child (Kellaghan, et al., 1993). Clark (1990) claimed children thrive when they operate within the boundaries of the family‟s settled routine, for example, eating meals at about the same time each day, going to bed at the same time,
31 etc. Rutter (1990) argued parents should know the importance of affectionate contact with their children, especially at times when the child may be fearful or anxious, for example, when leaving home in the morning and when going to sleep at night.