Because a lot of traditional social activity takes place at ground level, you may fi nd yourself developing a desire to step over people that you never had in your native land. Resist it.
When, having had a bit to drink in the sala, your path to the toilet is blocked in all directions by circles of people, each circle almost touching, don’t step over two close backs (or any part of anybody). It’s taboo. And be careful not to step over the food inside the circles; that’s also taboo. You can, of course, make it plain that you want to get through urgently (it is not taboo to say you need to urinate), and a gap will be made for you. But your troubles aren’t over yet. Don’t simply rush through that gap. The height rule requires that you lower your body when passing in front of a seated adult. Ideally, you should show your respect and humility by not being at a higher level than anybody else—something extremely diffi cult for the average farang to do! In practice, bending the body when passing, to show that at least you are trying not to tower over everybody present, is much appreciated.
FRONT AND BACK
An extension of the height rule is the horizontal maintenance of social space between people of different status. Superiors sit at the front, inferiors at the back. So, if you are ushered into the front seat at an event, sit there even if you are long- sighted, otherwise everybody else will have to sit behind you. It is quite usual on occasions where rows of chairs are set up, for the front one or two rows to be empty except for
a monk, an elder and any other important person.
Horizontal social distance is also evident in the order of walking—superior in front, inferior at the back. Taken to the extreme, this does tend to kill the art of conversation. In modern Thailand, this practice is therefore reserved for ceremonial occasions. However, you will make a good impression by not moving ahead of an old person.
HAIR
Hair, of course, is sacred when it is on the top of the head. This seems to have little effect on hairstyles which, for Thai men, are often all or nothing, the hair being either very closely cropped or falling onto the shoulders. The Thai of high status is likely to avoid both extremes and settle for something a bit more than a ‘short back and sides’. The visitor, to play it safe, may like to copy him. However, convention on hair length, for men and women, is somewhat more relaxed in Thailand than in some other Asian countries. Moustaches are occasionally worn, but few Thai men can grow a beard and the visitor should be warned that many Thai women fi nd beards unattractive and associate them only with old men! The major concern with hair, however much you have of it and wherever it is, is that it should be clean.
HANDS
Now fully conscious of your obnoxious feet, your towering height and your sacred head, you must also be careful about what you get up to with your hands. Ideally, do as little as possible with them. Leave them hanging down inoffensively by your sides. Certainly don’t use them for slapping a chap on the back or tousling his hair! In fact, be careful about touching people anywhere, and never touch across the sex line (unless in an establishment built for that purpose). The safe exception is a polite touch at the elbow, usually to draw
The walking order is no longer rigidly adhered to but the social order it symbolises is still very much a part of Thai personality; the junior is under the protection of the senior for as long as he follows behind. This is summed up in the Thai saying, ‘Walk behind an elder, the dog doesn’t bite you’.
attention but sometimes just for the sake of it, between friends and colleagues.
In the offi ce, touching, like every other aspect of social interaction, is subject to the rules of the superior/inferior structure of Thai society. It is quite acceptable for a superior to put his or her hand on an inferior of the same sex, most often on a shoulder. In the offi ce, this would reinforce correct work relationships: it can emphasise that an employee has done a good piece of work, it can soften any criticism, or it can suggest that the meeting is over and that the inferior should leave. Such touching is avuncular. It is like the friendly uncle putting his arm around a nephew’s shoulders in the West and might at times come close to a master patting his dog on the head. Needless to say, the offi ce inferior does not touch or hug in return.
Pointing
Pointing with a fi nger is less offensive than pointing with a foot and is acceptable for objects (except sacred objects)
In Thailand, hand movements have meaning.
but not for people, even very inferior ones. Unless you are picking somebody out at a police line-up or indicating to an indifferent public the chap who has just fl ed the scene with your wallet, don’t point. If you really need to point somebody out to your companion and can’t do it verbally, do so as discreetly as possible. A slight upward movement of the chin towards the person is permitted.
Sergeant-majors in the army and schoolteachers in the classroom are exempted from these finger pointing restrictions. But, so sensitive are the Thais to being pointed at, that even the girls in the massage parlours wear numbers, so that there is no need to point out which one you want.
All this sensitivity perhaps stems from the bad old days when a warlord would placate a quarrelsome village by assembling the population and haphazardly pointing to a few luckless peasants who would then be executed. Whatever the reason, and however it is done, a Thai does not like to be deliberately singled out.