The diagnosis of hearing loss was challenging for Charlotte and Tim. However, it was not as challenging as the other medical conditions Ella had. Ella was in the NICU for almost five months and they were “just happy to be bringing her home.” The diagnosis of hearing loss was viewed as just another hurdle that they would have to overcome.
According to Charlotte, “We were just glad that she was healthy and we were like if losing her hearing is what we have to walk away with from this experience, that's a much better deal than anything else we could ever have ever had before with everything she went through.”
C.3.c.2. Their Support Network
Charlotte shared that she feels very supported by her parents, in-laws, and community. She feels that when she is having a rough day where she loses her
perspective, she is able to call on someone and they will help her. One important part of Charlotte’s support network is her mother’s friend who has a child with a cochlear
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implant. Although the child is now in her early 20s, Charlotte is able to speak with the mother and gain a sense of whether what Ella is going through is developmentally
normal, “I think that sometimes just hearing that ‘that’s normal, that's OK’ is all I need to hear.”
C.3.c.3. Goals
Charlotte feels that the goals she has for Ella and their family are achievable. She feels that these goals will make Ella able “to excel in whatever she wants to do.”
However, she still wants Ella to have access to the Deaf community if she prefers to in the future. She feels that this access may help “her in the future be a part of a community she wants to be a part of.”
C.3.c.4. The Care Project
Charlotte is glad that she has found The Care Project. She feels that the information she and her husband learned at the retreat was very beneficial. She also voiced that they appreciated the teen panel where they were able to hear from older children and teenagers who are deaf or hard of hearing. Hearing their perspective
provided some insight on what path they may want to choose for Ella in the future. They had struggled with some of the decisions because they realize that they are having to make life altering decisions for a different person as she shared, “you know we want to respect her individuality as much as we can but try to make the best decisions for her”. Charlotte and her husband have tried to take what they think Ella would want into account as much as possible, but they are unsure if they have done exactly what she would have wanted if she were old enough to verbalize her desires. The access provided
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by The Care Project helped allay some of their concerns in that area. Charlotte conveyed, “being able to hear things that these almost young adults are saying kind of will help us make better decisions for [Ella] in the future.” They also appreciated The Care Project enabling them to meet so many other parents with children who are deaf or hard of hearing. Charlotte was very excited to meet another twin mom as well. She described that they bonded quite well and hopes that she and the other mom will keep in touch as their children get older. She stated, “it just kind of felt more of a support community there [at The Care Project retreat].”
C.3.c.5. Family Stress
Charlotte expresses the most issue with stress when she lets herself lose her perspective, as she stated, “I feel like it kind of ebbs and flows with stress.” She feels that Ella isn’t progressing as quickly or easily with her speech development as she would like, or as some other children who are deaf or hard of hearing. Some of these feelings of stress come from comparing Ella’s development to stories that other moms post in the Moms of Kids with Cochlear Implants Facebook page. According to Charlotte, “people who maybe lost their hearing and had hearing before or had some residual hearing and in they’re a little bit further along in their speech and then that's where I don't do too well.” She also realizes that this is an issue stating, “comparison is the root of evil.”
C.3.c.6. Family Resilience
Charlotte feels that her family’s level of resilience has helped them cope with all the medical diagnoses and procedures that they have had to go through in their daughter’s first two years of life. She feels that “the closeness of our family. And then I would say
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our faith gives us strength when we when we need something other, bigger than ourselves to pull upon” have contributed to their level of resilience. The concept of resilience is important to Charlotte because she wants to make sure that she and her husband have healthy relationships with their daughters. She stated, “I know some people who have might have issues and not relate to their child in the same way because they're afraid that they can't communicate with them or that they might be different.”
C.4. Family Four: The Davis Family