4.2.4 Dimakatso: Violence, the only language I understood
Dimakatso is a 30-year-old, mother of one, who joined the Zivuseni Reloaded segment of EPWP in November 2013. She is gaining experience as an administrative assistant. Dimakatso hails from Free State province and is Sotho. She now resides in Kagiso with her husband – who is not the father of her child. Her 15-year-old son lives in the Free State with her mother and receives a monthly remittance of between R500 to R700. Dimakatso’s highest level of education is Grade 11, whilst working at EPWP, she enrolled for a part time distance learning administration course in 2016 and is currently in the process of obtaining this two-year certificate. Her husband is the main breadwinner in their household of two and contributes at least R4000 a month toward food and rent, additionally she receives a child support grant of R350. Dimakatso’s expenses include transport, R300, hair maintenance R200 to R400, toiletries R100, airtime or data R100 and the payment of her Woolworths account R200. On a monthly basis she is able to remit between R500 to R700 to her mother towards the upkeep of her only child. Dimakato’s husband works in the steel industry as a rock drill machine operator.
Whilst Dimakatso does fall within Finn’s monetary definition of the working poor (2015: iii, 7 &
49) with an earning capacity of R2,550, it must be noted that the joint earning capacity of Dimakatso and her spouse far exceeds the R4,125 specified by Finn.
Her key identity markers are motherhood, HIV positive status, gender identifying as female, her martial status and vocation as an administration assistant. She views her racial identity as an African black as more important than her ethnicity as Sotho and is unconcerned with politics.
Dimakatso waited in a line for 90 minutes to gain access to my study and for a chance to tell her life story. Although she was clearly emotional, Dimakatso’s story pours out of her. She does not stop until her story is spent. During our second interview, Dimakatso identified several critical scenes in her life which have shaped her life herstory narrative. These scenes include her teenage pregnancy, physical abuse, rape, entrance into Zivuseni Reloaded, being HIV positive, possible infertility and marital instability.
She grew up the only girl in a household with four boys, he father had passed on when she was young and her mother a cleaner at the local clinic supported the family financially. Dimakatso fell pregnant while in high school during Grade 10 and her child was born in 2002. After the birth of her child, she completed Grade 11. Her elder brother was clearly upset about the pregnancy and became physically violent.
It happened suddenly at the beginning of my pregnancy, he hit me badly on three different times. One incident involved him hitting me on the back of the head with a ceramic tile. I spoke to the father of my child and we decided to come to this side [Gauteng province]. My mother tried to help but she is only a woman.
She left the Free State without completing matric in 2004 with both her child and her boyfriend.
For a time they lived peacefully in Midrand and she gained a small income through piece work [temporary adhoc work] as a hairdresser. Around 2006, the relationship between Dimakatso and her boyfriend rapidly escalated to violence, “he [boyfriend] was the same as my brother, he was physically violent, he used to tell me that violence was the only language I understood and that I have no one to cry on”. Her boyfriend would get paid fortnightly and was usually violent around this period, “if we were walking in the street, he expected me to walk with my head down. If I lifted my head he would tell me I was flirting with other men”. The violence culminated in 2007, they had a vicious argument when her boyfriend who she and her son had been living with for over two years, told her he was grateful for her help, but, “his girlfriend was coming to stay with him. That girlfriend completed matric and he told me to start preparing to go, but until the girl came I should stay there and help him with washing his clothes and doing some cooking. I started to be emotional. I was angry”.
An emotional Dimakatso waited for him to fall asleep and then took her child and ran away. She slept on the street with her child for two days.
On the second night, when I was on the street, there was this guys who came and raped me. I was raped by two strangers. In the morning I saw the police car, I think they were on duty, I stopped the car. The police took me to the hospital. Then they cleaned me and gave me some tablets but they didn’t tell me to come back. The police called this other lady, a social worker who took me to a safe home. We stayed there less than three months because then I contacted my mum in Free State and told her everything but not the rape. I did not tell anyone about the rape.
She returned home to the Free State. The period between 2007 and 2008 was a particularly dark time for Dimakatso:
The only thing I wanted that time was to die, that was the only solution for my life. But because of my child I had to think otherwise. I was just at home doing nothing. I was always thinking about suicide.
In late 2008, she met the man she would marry who compensated her uncles R25,000 in lobola [the cultural practice of paying a bride price] to be allowed to marry Dimakatso in 2009. Shortly after the marriage the newly weds moved to Kagiso in Gauteng province. Dimakatso then
approached her local councillor for work opportunities and gained access to a six month contract gardening at Kagiso Mall which was being constructed at that time. Once the mall was complete in 2011, she worked at a fish and chips takeaway for a year but due to the late hours and the unavailability of transport she was forced to quit. For over a year Dimakatso hacked a living doing ‘piece work’ as a hairdresser. A life changing moment for her came when her councillor called her about the Zivuseni Reloaded EPWP opportunity, she started work in November 2013.
The couple’s financial circumstances improved with the addition of her stipend. They wanted to start a family, but Dimakatso did not fall pregnant. So she went for a series of tests to determine the cause. During this time, Dimakatso found out that she was HIV positive. She was devastated and told her husband, who also went for an HIV test but was not HIV positive. He was very supportive and loving but still wanted a child. At the time of the second interview Dimakatso was afraid that her marriage was in trouble.
I used to be happy, but now I don't know, my husband is not the same anymore - he has changed. I think that there is someone else. I wanted him to also get checked [to determine fertility]. I said to him that if it was my fault I would give him permission to have a baby outside. It would be hard for me, but if it was my fault what can I do? Suddenly he came to me and said he found someone, but he didn't even go to the doctor to check so after that he has been changed. I don't know whether that person ... he has been sending her money and when I ask him for what, he says it's for check ups. Check ups?
What check ups? Is she pregnant? He has changed - he is not the same. I don't know what to do. It's hard.
Dimakatso registered early in 2016 for a two-year certificate course in administration. Post the EPWP contract she hopes to complete this qualification. “I am going to stay at home and focus on my study first. I have to fix things that I left behind like my school [matric]. I am going to do a drivers license and I’m going to go back to school for a one year to do my matric so after that I don’t know what will happen”. At the time of the interviews Dimakatso was deeply concerned about the stability of her marriage, “Ahh [exclamation] I hope one day things will happened or God will help me that, then I will have more kids. I want to have at least two more. I spoke to him (husband) he is going to meet his doctor to check if he can do any children. So then I can be free from what I have stress of. In our culture, if you are a makoti [married woman] and you don’t have children, then to them you are useless, to your in-laws you are useless”. Dimakatso was also applying for artisan vacancies within DID. Post interviews I received information that Dimakatso was permanently appointed as an artisan by DID.
4.2.4.1 Lessons from Dimakatso
Dimakatso is a resilient young woman who has had to recover from many traumatic childhood and early youth obstacles. She has suffered physical violence from an early age from her
brother, boyfriend and through gang rape. In her adult life she is now grappling with her diagnosed HIV positive diagnosis and possible infertility which is taking a tremendous toll on her marriage. Dimakatso has been in many subservient relationships which eroded her sense of agency. She was forced to flee her maternal home due to physical violence visited upon her by her brother this led her into the clutches of her boyfriend who perpetuated the same crime leading to her desperation to escape him which ultimately resulted in her and her child being destitute and victim to a vicious gang rape. What stuck me about Dimakatso was her determination to tell her life story. During our interviews she cried and was clearly emotionally but she refused to stop until her story was spent. In the end she was exhausted but clearly relieved. After her marriage Dimakatso’s life took a new direction her sense of agency was restored and she began to actively seek work. Dimakatso actively sought out and created a relationship with her local councillor in a bid to obtain work. As a result of this relationship Dimakatso received short term work on community projects and was ultimately recruited into EPWP. One of the most important spinoffs from her stipend is that Dimakatso is able to regularly remit money to her mother in Free State province in lieu of her son. The ability to remit is of vital importance to Dimakatso as she sees it as a way of providing for her son. Whilst in EPWP Dimakatso learned of her HIV positive status and possible infertility she is still grappling with this news. For Dimakatso joining EPWP has been a cataclysmic life event she has now been employed as a permanent employee of DID.