Características de cultivo

Some Christian war-widows shared how they were ‘enlightened and inspired by gospel values’ and were able to face challenges and to commit themselves to many works of charity, justice and peace. Some had taken practical decisions based on the teachings of Jesus to live their Christianity meaningfully. They said that they did not want to follow the Church leaders who often (mis)guide them or give false interpretations of the teaching of Jesus. They did not want to be nominal Christians and be oppressed by the ‘institutional’ Church, but rather real followers of Jesus.

The Christians who confess that they are the followers of Jesus should live according to the vision of Jesus who respected women breaking the patriarchal barriers in his time. What is visible in today’s Church is that all male religious leaders of the Church consider us as secondary to them and marginalise us because we are lay people, especially because we are women. Many of them do not live what they preach [Interview number 10: Sinhala Christian].

I am not an educated person, but according to my understanding, as Christians we have to live according to the values of Jesus, who accepted everyone without any discrimination. As a widow, in my suffering I reflect on my life as never before. For me, love is more important than rules and regulations [Interview number 7: Tamil Christian].

Many war-widows felt that they were marginalised, isolated and neglected by the Church. Also, that they were discriminated against in the Church by some of the religious leaders and some parishioners.

One day we, women and men, were working for a religious function. When I do something, I do it whole-heartedly. That is my nature (Her eyes were very expressive). That particular day, at the last moment, one person was asking me not to come forward because I am a widow. I felt so sorry and more than that I got angry. When I worked hard they did not tell me anything, but at last, they rejected me in the Church premises. Immediately, I looked at the person with an angry face and turned towards the priest.

I hope that the man got my message. I can understand them, but the most painful thing was that the priest who was standing there did not say even a word. He simply smiled and left [Interview number 1: Tamil Christian].

Many widows expressed that a person who says that one is a believer implies that one has to live the teachings of the particular religious founder. Many war-widows felt that it was not enough to say that they were Christians and not practise loving, respecting, and treating one another equally. For them, religion should promote peace and unity among people. Some of them could not see these values practised in the Church and among the people who attend Mass. They saw the contradiction between what some religious leaders preached and practised. As a result some war-widows did not even want to pray to God alongside them.

For all war-widows the values of the reign of God were more important than the rituals, customs and rules of the Church, as many of them had the idea that religion should help them live their humanity meaningfully in accordance with such values. It is their understanding, that if religion does not help them to live their vocation as Christians with dignity, belonging to such a religion is meaningless. They could, however, live according to the teachings of their religious founders.

There were war-widows who believed that the survival of a religion depended mainly on women and that there would be no religion without women. At the same time they had come to realise that religion was one of the means of oppressing women in society. Some of them were disappointed about the exclusive language that was used in the Churches during Mass and other prayer services. When they went to Mass they came out feeling disturbed either because they were badly treated in the Church or because the sermon was ‘uninteresting’. Some had decided not to go to Church or Mass. Some had decided to go to the Church and pray while there was no one there. Some felt that going to the Church was not necessary as God is with them even at home. There were a few war-widows who did not have time for Sunday Mass as they had to earn money for their survival.

The teaching of the Church on wives had disturbed some war- widows – especially being treatment as a second-class person. A few war- widows felt that they were suppressed because of their roles as wives, and especially as mothers. One widow had doubts about the authenticity of the Bible – “does the Bible consist of the word of God? If so, why does

the Bible encourage oppression of wives?” [Interview number 10: Sinhala Christian]. One Sinhala widow shared what she heard a priest was saying at the funeral service of a woman she knew:

“This mother [the dead body] was a very good mother. I knew her very well. She was very much faithful to her marriage promises till the end of her life. She always obeyed her husband. Not like the wives of the present, she did not argue with her husband. Our women in the present society do not know how to control their mouths and as a result, they create many problems in the family and sometimes in the parish. It is easy to work with men but not with women. Even though her husband was not right, she did not say anything against him. She respected her husband. That was the secret of her good family life.” When I heard these words of the priest, I got angry with him. See his attitude towards women [Interview number 8: Sinhala Christian].

Some war-widows stated that they did not want to waste their time on Church matters as they had to attend to other important matters in their lives. For example:

In our religion, what are the important matters – how to receive communion, wearing the veil, healing services, pilgrimages and many other external things. When bishops change, religious practices also change. They think that we do not know these issues. We know everything in detail, but we do not want to waste our time on these kinds of issues, because we have many important things to attend to [Interview number 9: Sinhala Christian].

Some war-widows who were actively involved in their Churches had given up, because they were marginalised by their fellow-believers. Also for some, it was more important to uphold the dignity of women than to engage in Church activities, because the Church was not interested in the dignity of women. Many war-widows had begun to think of their religion in a new way as they had become aware of how it marginalised war-widows.

When asked about religion, many of them spoke about their religious leaders or practices of the Church. Most of them were really disappointed with their religious leaders, yet some Tamils appreciated some of their religious leaders for being with them even during the worst time of the war. The following were the responses given by the Sinhala and Tamil war-widows when asked about their religious leaders:

- Lack of availability to listen to the different views coming from ordinary people, especially from women. Some religious leaders have the idea that they know everything and every follower of their religion has to accept whatever they say.

- The silence about the injustice happening to the people, including war-widows/women.

- Even though religious leaders have the ability to address issues of violence or the cultural and religious discrimination against men and women, they do not think it necessary to do so. Many of them remain silent, thereby enabling discrimination.

- Some Sinhala Catholic religious leaders identify themselves with the government and support them in discriminating against Tamils. Sometimes they take the side of the oppressive government rather than the side of the Tamils and Sinhalese who are oppressed.

- Discouragement about the way they guide people, especially their insensitivity to the lives of the marginalised and isolated.

- Their main concern is Church activities, rituals and laws, rather than giving priority to cultivating the values of the reign of God or the dignity of persons.

- Disappointment about their giving priority to external things – rituals, customs, rules, wasting money on Church decorations and functions.

- Their negative attitude with regard to the dignity of war-widows/ women.

- Encouraging some oppressive customs and rituals with regard to war-widows.

- Misunderstanding war-widows’ decisions.

- Disappointment regarding the over-emphasis on liturgy rather than on the sacredness of life.

- Preventing them from practising their religion freely by forcing rules and regulations on them.

- Religious leaders try to control war-widows/women who do not want to be controlled by their leaders.

The answers indicate that women, especially war-widows, felt that they were isolated and neglected in the Church due to their gender and widowhood. Women’s subordination was common to the Tamil and Sinhala cultures and the Church. War-widows, wives, mothers and young girls are the most oppressed. The war-widows who shared their ideas about religion claim that the Church should not neglect the mission of Jesus who respected women and men equally. They also said that the Church would need to disassociate herself from ideologies and prejudices against women and to work at affirming the fullness of human life. The responsibility of the Church is to make the government aware of its duty to protect the lives of these women as well as to create a better environment for them to live in, to highlight the reality of their suffering and to strive for justice.

Many war-widows expressed the view that rules and regulations, customs and rituals are useless if they do not help believers to experience the love of God. In the view of many war-widows, the rituals themselves are not the problem, as each religion has them, but they should help believers experience God in peace of mind and in freedom.

Speaking about Christian religious leaders, war-widows expected them to be available to believers, to be sensitive to the marginalised and help believers to practise religion without deterring them with various kinds of rituals and customs. War-widows preferred freedom of worship. If prayers meant a relationship between God and human beings, some war- widows said, it was important for them to have the freedom to decide how they want to relate to God. They wanted their religious leaders to seek an inclusive approach to society.

According to some war-widows, the voice of the Church must awaken the people to the prophetic mission of the First and Second Testaments in the Bible. That could thus not be a voice, which supports the prevailing political or economic structures.50 _{Some war-widows raised the following}

questions: did the Church, including religious leaders and believers, look at this ethnic problem between the Sinhalese and the Tamils with the eyes of true followers of Christ? Did the Baptismal vocation of Christians in SL lead them to be witnesses to the priestly, prophetic and pastoral ministry

50 This does not mean that the Church is separated from worldviews but that the Church’s behaviour has to be based on the biblical values of truth, justice and equity with regard to social and political matters.

of Jesus Christ? Did the Church stand for the rights of the oppressed or does it oppress people who stand for the rights of the oppressed? Was the Church sensitive or insensitive to the struggle of war-affected people, and especially of women who are the most oppressed of the victims? Was the Church motivated by the power of God to empower the oppressed people or by the power of political leaders to support them in suppressing minorities in the country? What is the responsibility of the Church towards thousands of war-victims? Could the Church be indifferent to this situation or can it be a voice to bring just and true peace to all without dividing the Church into Tamil Christians and Sinhala Christians?