CARECER O ENCONTRARSE EN MAL ESTADO DE FUNCIONAMIENTO LOS SIGUIENTES DISPOSITIVOS DE LOS

In general, most of the interviewees simply said that they met both of the

partners together at the beginning. Interviewee WCI16 preferred “to see them both

together for the first time.” MFR10 would mostly meet both partners of the couple.

“It would depend on the situation. In the way that I am thinking, I would mostly

WCI13 initially met one partner; “They have approached me individually

because they are having a problem with their relationship and they want to talk to me about it.” For WCI14; “Sometimes they come alone but I tend to see and generally I would work with both of them.” WCI13 and WCI14 had similar

experiences of one partner coming alone to the counselling at first, but their

tendency was to see both of the partners.

WCI15 was referred only one partner.

“When we get the referral through, it is usually for one person, the

referral, because one person is presented to the doctor. And in the letter that goes out to the patient, we encourage them to bring their partner with them [Appendix 12].”

The individuals who came to see MFI16 first of all talk about the issues they

wanted to bring to counselling. Then they opted for couples counselling and the

partner came with them from then onwards. “One of them comes to see me, then

first of all we talk about it and they decide actually that they would like couples counselling and then the partner comes with them the next time and the rest of the time.” WCI15 and MFI16 encouraged the partners who came alone first to the

counselling to bring the other partner with them for the remainder of the time or

sessions. Thus couple therapists emphasise the importance of seeing both

individuals together. MCP9 revealed that he wanted to see both partners because

the couple’s difficulty was in their relationship.

“Where possible, I do prefer to see the couple rather than either of them

separately. This is because the couples are experiencing difficulties with their relationship. I need to be able to relate to their relationship; I need to be able to help them process and work on their relationship. If I see just one of them as happens when one partner doesn’t come, I will most likely get the one sided view of the relationship. When they both come, they can both express their viewpoints, their dissatisfactions and hopefully their satisfactions. Regardless of whether the perceived dissatisfactions are communication difficulties, rows, power struggles, etc., I can model alternatives with them which they can try out when they are together [Appendix 15].”

What emerges from this is that couple therapists have a strong, preference

for seeing both partners together, since the counsellor can see the dynamics of the

relationship of both of them. It is also easier to identify individual issues, if there

are particular issues that the individual has. Resonating with the view of Bray

(2008, p. 504), when most of the interviewees see one partner alone, they usually

offer to see the other partner individually also, in order to provide a balance in the

couple therapy.

As some couple therapists have mentioned (Jackson, 1959; Alexander,

1968; Olson, 1970), there are a number of main characteristics common in nearly

all the current approaches using conjoint treatment, although distinct approaches

use different language to explain concepts, goals and procedures. The main focus

of the conjoint method in couple therapy is on seeing both partners

together throughout all the therapeutic sessions (Olson, 1970).

Most of the couple-therapist interviewees emphasise that both partners

must be physically and emotionally present for couple therapy to work best. MCP9

offered the reason for seeing both members of the couple. “This is because the

couples are experiencing difficulties with their relationship [Appendix 15].”

Generally and in practice, the therapist in couple therapy is more concerned about

identifying the issues arising from the partners’ relationship than the separate

issues of the two individuals. The consideration in couple therapy is not the same

as in individual counselling. The therapist in individual counselling works with the

client and the client's issue in a one-to-one therapeutic relationship. The therapist in

couple therapy deals with two people, both partners of the couple. The key point in

couple therapy is the relationship, which is very often triangular.

However, sometimes one of the couple cannot be available to come to

counselling and some couple therapists have their own reasons for meeting just one

case, one of the couple may transform but the other one is less likely to change.

Meanwhile, in the case that only one partner comes to counselling, the therapist

provides counselling for him or her, keeping the other partner in mind. Thus, the

relationship remains triangular to the therapist. However, even if the couple

therapist uses the same structure of therapy, the respective approaches do have their

own specific set of procedures. For example, for object-relations couple therapy,

the therapist enables the couple to improve their holding capacity, to be empathetic

and to listen with tolerance to the partner’s feelings without undue anxiety. Whereas for narrative couple therapy, one partner explores his or her stories

(telling) while the other listens (witnessing) and then comments on what has been

said (Freedman & Combs, 2008). Thus, the other approaches use conjoint structure

differently in the therapeutic procedures.

Couple counselling is different from individual counselling. First of all

the client in couple therapy is the relationship between the couple. The relationship

is described as triangulated when we recognise any interaction in which a third

person is drawn into a relationship with two other persons. So, the counsellor in

couple counselling needs to be aware of some particular issues, such as ‘how it is

possible to achieve this relationship if the client is a couple’; ‘how to be supportive of the husband while at the same time being accepting of the wife’s abusive behaviour to him’, ‘what the counsellor should do if one partner resents the support

given to the other, or if one partner is trying hard to push the counsellor to point the

finger at the offending spouse.’ It is no mean task to be even all round and to

maintain a symmetrical relationship with two very different and warlike clients at

the same time.

The same interpersonal qualities and communication skills that are

required by the counsellor in a one-to-one situation are thus needed in couple

the principle of symmetricality (Broderick, 1983).

There are three symmetries (Baine & Sawatzky, 1991). Firstly, spatial

symmetry is a position where each member of the triad sits in relation to each other

to establish and maintain emotional closeness among the members of the triangle.

Secondly, temporal symmetry is related to a shift time, to give each person the

opportunity to speak which helps both to know that their interests are being served

and appreciated as well as their partner’s. Lastly, moral symmetry is focusing on the pain each feels rather than the pain each causes. The counsellor strives to help

the individual to some sort of recognition of their ‘partnership in pain’ rather than being saint and sinner. Each partner in couple therapy must feel equally accepted

and supported. The counsellors are constantly monitoring the symmetry of their

relationship with the two partners.