In addition to the pleasurable aromas, firmness, temperature, taste and texture of food; the sensitiveness of the fingertips, mouth, lips, and tongue increases the enjoyment of biting and chewing your way through a meal.
Think of the many foods that are considered aphrodisiac—chocolate, oys-ters, shrimp, termites, crickets, beetles, nuts, corn, strawberries, tama-rinds—they are all thought to have the potential of arousing or intensifying sexual desire and erotic power. Part of this power comes from the fact that these foods almost force themselves to be eaten with the fin-gers. Any food can be an aphrodisiac if all the senses are exercised simul-taneously while it is being consumed. With fingers busy, mouths, lips, tongues, noses, and eyes enticed, sensuousness lingers in every bite—it is close to the “natural” as possible.
Some people trying to awaken a deeper appreciation, passion, and sensu-ousness of the dining experience initially find it overwhelming. Some of my clients have asked me—“There is so much to do at the same time.
How am I supposed to see, smell, taste, feel, and smell everything in a few seconds?” It can be particularly frustrating when you are trying to juggle the slippery elements of what, when, and how much to eat and at the back of your mind hearing that familiar voice from your childhood—“do not get your fingers dirty,” or “don’t eat too much.”
An appreciation for the sensuousness of food uncovers “other” hidden
“talents”. . .
Eating with your fingers not only influences how food tastes but how you handle the phenomenon of total sensory appeal. All cultures share the old adage, “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” Some African cultures take it a step further by adding, “The way a man eats at the table is the way he eats on the bed.” You can learn a lot about people when you watch them eat. How people eat can give you a mental picture of how they express themselves in other sensuous areas of their lives. Let’s just say if he or she is mindlessly shovelling mouthfuls of food into his or her mouth, or is a fussy eater, he or she will generally be mechanical or finicky in other areas as well. If you know what I mean.
the alchemy of the sensuous gourmet
Since everyone must eat, what we eat and how we eat is one of the most telling characteristics of who we are. How we eat is a manner of expres-sion that has taken years to cultivate, and in most cases, is completely in-stinctive.
The sensuous gourmet takes things slow, trails the fingers around a plate of food, lifts a glass of wine and smells it with the eyes closed, pauses in the middle of a sentence to taste a sauce, savours the saltiness of each po-tato chip, listens to the loud crunch of each bite, digs the teeth into the fruit as if for the first time, and will even emit a low “moan” when eating something that moves him or her to express exquisite sensuousness. There is no shame or timidity in his or her actions—all this is perfectly natural.
Seduction— à la kitchen—also comes in subtle forms . . .
There is an old saying: “To invite a person to your house is to take charge of his or her happiness as long as he or she is beneath your roof.” Since the beginning of time, the pleasures of the table have been intertwined with our enjoyment of the person with whom we enjoy it. If your intent is to
“wow!” your date, this is the only way to go.
First of all, for culinary seduction to work, you must first figure out what kind of man or woman you are planning to seduce and then create a menu sure to woo based on his or her interests and personality. People love it when their dates take an interest in their interests. Focused and knowl-edgeable effort is sexy.
Keep the food simple. Don’t waste too much energy trying to impress him or her with your cooking skills. Anything that has a little bit of salty tang, a little bit of sweetness, a little bit of creaminess, and a little bit of crunch keeps the senses excited. An ideal appetizer should be anything that can be picked up, rolled up, or tucked in the sides, then eaten with the fin-gers—and licked often. For a main course, roasted bone-in meats are the
“holy grail.” This is one of those times when bones become sensuous; their hardness, hidden beneath juicy flesh, invokes psychological and sensuous pleasure when the meat is cooked right, when it pulls off the bone but does not fall off it. If you want to go vegetarian, you still need to make
the alchemy of the sensuous gourmet
sure it’s finger-licking good. Dessert should ideally be served plain or with anything that can be wiped away or licked away.
That is the easy part. The hard part is that there are not many foods in
“polite” society that you can dig in exuberantly with your fingers, which is why you should probably cook the meal together. A jointly-prepared meal, especially accompanied with good conversation, can boost the odds that sparks will start flying. Be spontaneous and do unexpected things.
Feed each other while you cook. Whisper suggestive comments, paint each other with melted butter (not when it’s hot), fling bits of food pieces and let them fall strategically on the body, etc. In the best of all possible worlds, you can peak your date’s imagination with a lasting impact.
Freeing up your capacity for sensuousness lifts you above the mun-dane . . .
When it comes to eating, don’t rush anything. Take time to tease, coax and play with every single sense.
Start with the visual appeal of the food; notice the various colours of the foods and the variety of textures and shapes and what each contributes to the food. This means seeing food as a living, dynamic entity. This aware-ness requires you to suspend the mind’s automatic tendency to halt the process of exploration by “naming” familiar foods as sweet, salty, pun-gent, or sour, thereby reducing the sensory appeal of the food to a concept that is so well known it can be dismissed. Instead, open yourself up to how the food presents itself in any given moment.
Next, take a deep breath and smell the food. Close your eyes and take a moment to savour the smell of the individual flavours. Open your eyes and look carefully at each item. Examine it fully, noting whatever it is that appeals to you about its appearance. Allow all your thoughts or feelings about the food to register. Bring the food close to your mouth and prepare to take a bite. The instant your fingers touch the food, broaden your awareness to include your sense of touch. Pay attention to the physical sensation of the food against your hand—texture, firmness, temperature, and so on. You may also detect a shift in temperature around your lips as
the alchemy of the sensuous gourmet
you bring the food close to your mouth. Keep in mind that, with sufficient desire, anything you are about to put in your mouth at any time can be made into an erotic experience. Pull gently at your food, peel with fingers, suck out the centers, play it upon your lips, lick up the juices, feel the tongue literally tingle while the food lingers long enough to be swept away by the tongue. Chew thoroughly to release all the different tastes in the food so you can fully experience the taste while allowing yourself time to enjoy the feeling of the food’s texture.
Remember though, that eating with your fingers isn’t a license to poor eat-ing manners. Always have clean hands and eat with your feat-ingers without getting them all messy. A savvy diner delicately uses only three fingers to eat, except for some foods that might require all the five fingers and the palm.
Depending on how far along mutual attraction has gone, placing food directly into his or her mouth with your fingers can stir up bigger and better things . . .
Never lose eye contact with your dining partner. Whenever your mind wanders off your plate and away from your partner, notice where it’s gone and gently bring it back to your dining partner.
If you choose to drink alcoholic drinks, keep the amount of alcohol to a minimum. Wine is the favourite alcoholic drink for most people because it is the world’s most romanticized beverage. Drinking wine is an adventure and just as with food, strive to appreciate the wine with all your senses—
sight, smell, touch, taste, sound, and feeling. Appreciate the gentle swirl of pouring the wine and the aroma it creates, as part of the whole experience.
Before the wine even touches your lips, allow your eyes to drink in the beauty of its colour as well as the general appearance of your glass. Your sense of touch is part of the wine-drinking experience. As you take your first sip, remember that wine’s flavour isn’t just about its sensation on the tongue, but its combined effect on the taste buds and nasal receptors.
If you are not into wines, a rich lingering mouth-filling flavour of a freshly brewed cup of coffee is just as equally thoroughly sensuous.
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Your body is bristling with sensory receptors—God’s gift to humankind—
it’s up to you to responsibly enjoy it. Give yourself the permission to really celebrate what you have inside; celebrate it with yourself and with each other.
One last piece of advice, if your mojo isn’t working during these multi-sensuous, full interaction gourmet moments—or if you missed the “sexual innuendo” in this last chapter of the book—then maybe you seriously need a dating coach!