Vigorous language is specific and concrete. Limp language is filled with clichés, slang, and buzz words. Vigorous writing holds your reader’s interest. But if your reader isn’t even interested enough to read your message, your writing can’t possibly achieve its objective. A second reason for writing with vigor has to do with language itself. Vigorous writing tends to lend vigor to the ideas presented. A good idea looks even better dressed in vigorous language, and a weak idea looks even weaker dressed in limp language.
Use Specific, Concrete Language: As discussed in the lesson of communication barriers caused by over abstraction and ambiguity, when possible, choose specific words – words that have a definite, unambiguous meaning. Likewise, choose concrete words – words that bring a definite picture to your reader’s mind.
Don’t:The vehicle broke down several times recently.
Do: The delivery van broke down three times last week.
In the first version, what does the reader imagine when he or she reads the word vehicle – a golf cart? Automobile? Boat? Space shuttle? Likewise, how many times is several –two? Three? Fifteen? The revised version tells precisely what happened.
president answered several questions from the audience and then adjourned the meeting”, the specific number of questions is probably not important.
But in most situations, you should watch out for words like several, recently, a number of, substantial, a few, and a lot of. You may need to be more exact.
Likewise, use the most concrete word that is appropriate; give the reader a specific mental picture of what you mean. That is, learn to talk in pictures:
Don’t:The vice president was bored by the presentation.
Do: The vice president kept yawning and looking at her watch.
But sure that your terms convey as much meaning as the reader needs to react appropriately. Watch out for terms like emotional meeting (anger or gratitude?), bright color (red or yellow?), new equipment (postage meter or cash register?), and change in price (increase or decrease?).
Avoid Cliches, Slang, and Buzz Words: A cliché is an expression that has become monotonous through overuse. It lacks freshness and originality and may also send the unintended message that the writer couldn’t be bothered to choose language geared specifically to the reader.
Don’t:Enclosed please find an application form that you should return at your earliest convenience.
Do: Please return the enclosed application form before May 15.
As noted earlier, slang is an expression, often short-lived, that is identified with a specific group of people. If you understand each word in an expression but still don’t understand what it means in context, chances are
following sentence:
It turns my stomach the way you can break your neck and beat your brains out around here, and they still stab you in the back.
To anyone unfamiliar with American slang (a nonnative speaker, perhaps), this sentence might seem to be about the body because it refers to the stomach, neck, brains, and back. The real meaning, of course, is something like this:
I am really upset that this company ignores hard work and loyalty when making personnel decisions.
Same Rules the World Over: The strategies for writing effective business messages discussed in this chapter are universal. The passage below, from a business communication text for Chinese business executives, recommends substituting concise phrases for long, empty ones.
Wordy Concise Wordy Concise
enclosed herewith enclosed under separate cover
please don’t hesitate please write us continuous and uninterrupted
please write endorse on the endorse this
prior to before back of this check check
informal, and much of business writing, although not formal, is still businesslike and calls for standard word usage. Second, slang is short-lived. A slang phrase used today may not be in use – and thus may not be familiar – in three years, when your letter is retrieved from the files for reference. Third, slang is identified with a specific group of people, and others in the general population may not understand the intended meaning.
For these reasons, avoid these terms in most business writing:
can of worms pay through the nose
chew out play up to
go for broke security blanket
hate one’s guts use your noodle knock it off wiped out
once-over zonked out
A buzz word is an important-sounding expression used mainly to impress other people. Because buzz words are so often used by government officials and high ranking business people – people whose comments are
“newsworthy” – these expressions get much media attention. They become instant clichés and then go out of fashion just as quickly. At either end of their short life span, they cause communication problems. If an expression is currently being used by everyone, it sounds monotonous, lacking originality. If it is no longer being used by anyone, readers may not understand the intended meaning. Here are examples of recent “in”
expressions:
bottom line paradigm
done deal parameter
impact (verb) scenario
interface user-friendly
Be especially careful of turning nouns and other types of words into verbs by adding-ize. Such words as agendize, prioritize, unionize, and operationalize quickly become tiresome.