Yes, kissing is an art form. The kissing experience is different for each of us but the basic fundamentals of kissing remain the same.
The first step in kissing is known as "Getting into position". The second step is called
"Finding her comfort level" and the last step, the last step… well, I leave that to your imagination.
Getting Into Position
Now, there are many ways of getting into a good position for a satisfying kissing session.
The keyword here is flexibility. If you are driving her home, it is a good idea to get out of your driver’s seat, walk over to the other side, open the passenger door, and accompany her to her porch/apartment door.
If she declines, just tell her that, "I just want to see you up safely". That saves face.
Finding Her Comfort level
This involves gauging whether she is ready for the kiss. Remember, there are always other options.
You could avoid kissing altogether: a little gesture to remember the occasion with, a nice bow with a flourish, a good handshake (although personally, it feels really weird shaking your date’s hand. A pat on the shoulder perhaps, but a handshake!?)
Well, I guess it is a matter of taste, really, a wave goodbye, a gentle caress of her cheek.
You could make it a neutral kiss: throw her a kiss, kiss her hand, kiss her cheek, a quick peck, kiss your finger and touch it to her lips. And of course, there's the kiss.
If you are going to tell her you are going to call her just to have something to say, do remember to call. Most men do this (Even I am guilty of this one. Never mind, it just means she will call me and gripe about it. At least then we will have something to talk about) and it drives girls crazy because guys never do call.
But I digress. Now, back to the kissing stuff… When you are alone with her on her porch/door, place your arm around her in a gentle, non-threatening way. If she does not cringe away from you or push your arm off her, you can proceed to the next step. Next lean your head against hers, appearing to rest it.
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She should do the same. Then take your hand from hers, make a shape like you were going to pull the trigger on a gun. DON'T whatever you do, firm your hand, relax.
Let it flow. Place the tip of your index finger ( the tip = the joint farthest from you hand ) under her chin and lift her head to your mouth. Do all this in slow motion. She will remember it better if you do it slow. Don't rush it. Kiss as though you have all the time in the world. But don't prolong a kiss beyond its natural life.
If she pushes you away, she is just not ready. Do not push your luck and never ever push your way hoping to get "lucky". You can always end things is by giving her a nice big hug.
Americans seem to have become a nation of huggers (why not a nation of kisses like in France? They kiss for everything there. They kiss to say good morning, they kiss to say hello, life is so unfair.)
When kissing, think about absolutely nothing. Better still, don't think. Let your mind blank out while you delight in the absorption of her drugging nectar. Begin kissing with your lips slightly parted, not zipped shut.
Remember to relax them and don't let them freeze up. That will really dampen the kissing experience. Do not start wet, with your mouth wide open and you're tongue sticking out.
Using Your Hands
Use your hands when kissing. Many people simply waste them when kissing by using them only as some form of supporting themselves. You could wrap them around her waist, use them to clutch her back or massage her scalp. Wherever your hands are, use them.
Slowly increase pressure or graze gently but in non-erotic zones, like the back, the shoulders, the arms. You should not use every kissing session as a prelude to sex.
Sometimes, kissing just for the sake of kissing can be just as exciting as you absorb her very essence into your cells. Many men think of kissing as a a prelude to sex.
They keep thinking, "Let's hurry up. Then we can get down to the nice stuff" As a result, they rush through their kissing and do not get to fully enjoy the delightfulness of a long, drugging, kiss.
A Real Eye Opener
Once in a while, pretend it's the first time you have ever kissed this person. A lot of people ask me if it is advisable to open your eyes when kissing. Well, one time, I was in the middle of this intoxicating kiss with my girlfriend and I opened my eyes and saw two huge brown eyes staring right back.
It was pretty scary and we both laughed and I guess that helped break the tension. My advice to you is that you should only open your eyes when kissing if you can stand the intimacy.
Caution
Men that just clamp their lips on their girlfriends when kissing and never move their lips or alter the angle of the kiss, lose out on the whole rhythm and motion of a kiss. It should be something dynamic and explorative, ever-changing, but not explorative in the way that some people stuff their tongues in your mouth as though they were searching for buried treasure or something!
One last thing, you should never prolong a kiss beyond it's natural life. When you feel it is time to stop kissing (after a few hours is fine by me), conclude the session by drawing your lips away and giving a series of shorter, but more intense kisses.
After the final one, draw away and just hold her, gently rocking your body against hers.
Okay, so far I have gone through all the basic aspects of kissing, otherwise known as
"lip" kissing. You may even have dabbled in using your tongue while kissing. Lip kissing is only the tip of the iceberg! If you do not widen your repertoire, your kissing life will be very dull indeed.
The French "Soul" Kiss
French kissing involves the tongue. What you do with it, and what she does with yours, is a matter of preference. At the most cautious level, the tongue does in fact enter, only to dart quickly out thus ending the kiss.
The function was performed, and technically, the kiss can be defined as falling under the classification of "French Kiss."
Now, on the other end of the spectrum, you have the type of tongue which, to borrow a cliché from Star Trek, "goes boldly where no tongue has ever gone before".
The French kiss is the essence of kissing: capturing her mouth with desperate urgency, unifying your souls and thoughts with the mouth. By the way, contrary to popular belief, STDs cannot be transmitted via French kissing.
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