Listening pays off daily in the world of business. When you interview a candidate for a position with your company, you normally spend about 80 percent of your time listening. Smart salespeople have learned that you can talk your way out of a sale, but you can also listen your way into one. They listen to their customers to find out what their needs are, then concentrate on filling those needs. Skilled negotiators know that no progress can be made until they have heard and understood what the oth-er side wants. Enlightened employoth-ers listen to their employees and learn about their wants and needs.
Listening to Sausage Grinders
Ralph Sayer brought twenty-first century management into the world of sausage grinding as CEO of Johnsonville Foods in Sheboygan Falls, Wisconsin. Sayer became a strong believer in management by listening.
He went out into his plants and opened his ears.
One of the complaints he heard was that new employees were poor-ly trained. This put a burden on the other employees, who had to recti-fy their mistakes and compensate for their low productivity.
"We gotta fix it," they told their CEO.
"You're absolutely right," Sayer responded, "and you guys know what these people need to know when they come i n . . . . Train them."
Sayer reasoned that the employees themselves knew more about the job requirements than the human resources department did, so he put the employees in charge of hiring, firing, and training.1
When his employees complained about co-workers who brought
"boom boxes" into the plant and played loud music, Sayer didn't tell them what to do. He asked them for solutions, and he listened.
I would replace the training element of Sayer's formula with a sys-tem of comprehensive, integrated employee education. This would pro-vide his workers with the skills to meet their expanded responsibilities.
But his willingness to listen to the people on the work floor is exem-plary, and other executives would do well to emulate him.
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Listening Requires Thought and Care
Listening, like speaking and writing, requires thought and care. If you don't concentrate on listening, you won't learn much, and you won't re-member much of what you learn.
Some experts claim that professionals earn between 40 percent and 80 percent of their pay by listening. Yet most of us retain only 25 per-cent of what we hear. If you can increase your retention and your com-prehension, you can increase your effectiveness in the twenty-first cen-tury's Age of Information.
The Benefits of Listening Skillful listening offers these benefits:
• You will learn from what you hear.
• You will show the people to whom you listen that you're interested in them.
• You will gain insight into the way others perceive their individual needs, desires, and motivations.
• You will give others a chance to let down their guards so that they can hear what you have to say.
• You will actively involve others in the communication process.
You will clarify misconceptions.
Listen with Your Eyes
If you listen only with your ears, you're missing out on much of the mes-sage. As we learned in chapter 6, some of the most important commu-nication is done without words. Good listeners keep their eyes open.
Look for feelings. The face is an eloquent communication medium.
Learn to read its messages. While the speaker is delivering a verbal mes-sage, the face can be saying, "I'm serious," "Just kidding," "It pains me to be telling you this," or "This gives me great pleasure."
Some nonverbal signals to watch for:
• Rubbing one eye. When you hear, "I guess you're right," and the speaker is rubbing one eye, guess again. Rubbing one eye often is a
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signal that the speaker is having trouble inwardly accepting some-thing.
Tapping feet. When a statement is accompanied by foot tapping, it usually indicates a lack of confidence in what is being said. If a ven-dor says, "We can deliver the goods within six weeks," while mov-ing toes or heels up and down, better allow for a couple extra weeks.
• Rubbing fingers. When you see the thumb and forefinger rubbing together, it often means that the speaker is holding something back.
It may be a signal for you to ask some penetrating questions.
• Staring and blinking. If you've made your best offer and the other person stares at the ceiling and blinks rapidly, your offer is under consideration. Allow time for a decision to be made. If you hear a deep breath and a sigh, the decision has probably been made.
• Crooked smiles. As Shakespeare wrote, "One may smile, and smile and be a villain." Most genuine smiles are symmetrical. And most facial expressions are fleeting. If a smile is noticeably crooked or if it remains for more than a moment or two, you're probably looking at a fake smile, and you're quite possibly listening to an untruth.
• Poor eye contact. Poor eye contact can be a sign of low self-esteem, but it can also indicate that the speaker is not being truthful. Most people find it hard to look you in the eye while lying to you. But be-fore you judge a person's motives by eye contact, remember that in some cultures direct eye contact is considered rude.
• Forced eye contact. Just as lack of eye contact can be a sign of ly-ing, so forced eye contact can be a sign of faking it.
• Frequent rubbing of the nose. This can also signal a lack of candor.
It would be unwise to make a decision based solely on these visible signals. But they can give you valuable tips on the kind of questions to ask and the kind of answers to be alert for.
Good Listeners Make Things Easy
People who are poor listeners will find few who are willing to come to them with useful information.
"No one cares to speak to an unwilling listener," said Jerome, the scholar of the fourth and fifth centuries who translated the Bible into Latin.
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Good listeners make it easy for speakers. They make it clear that they're interested in what the other person has to say.
When you're ready to listen to someone, eliminate all the competi-tion for your attencompeti-tion. Put aside whatever you've been working on. Lis-tening can't be a part-time activity. Turn off the radio, television set, or stereo. Assume an alert posture, facing the speaker squarely and at eye level. Show that you're ready to listen by leaning toward the speaker.
Keep arms and legs uncrossed. Be respectful of the speaker's "bubble of space," positioning yourself neither too close nor too far away.
As the conversation proceeds, you can guide it with body language.
A single nod keeps the conversation going. A double nod encourages the speaker to elaborate. A triple nod may make the speaker hesitate, change the subject, or gradually wind down.
A listener's verbal response can either ignite a conversation or squelch it. Figure 9-1 contains examples of igniter phrases and squelch-er phrases.
Monologues in Duet
Remember that conversation is an interactive process. In a truly pro-ductive conversation, two or more minds are engaged in a mutual en-terprise—the interchange of thoughts. This process, however, often de-generates into a monologue in duet: We're thinking about what we're about to say instead of listening to what the other person is saying. When we do that, we often miss out on key points or misunderstand what has been said.
The process of listening involves interpretation, evaluation, and re-action. Listen carefully to what the other person is saying. Put yourself in the speaker's shoes and try to interpret what you hear from the speak-er's point of view. What is the speaker thinking and feeling?
Fit what you hear into the framework of what you already know, and evaluate it against your present knowledge. Ask questions for clarifica-tion, and listen carefully to the answers. Then give your reaction.
I often use three exercises to demonstrate to audiences the value of listening carefully and evaluating what is being said.
In one, I ask the audience to repeat the v/ord joke each time I hold up my hand.
IGNITERS
That's great, how can we do it? . . .
That's neat! What else do we need?. . .
How can we get support for it?. . .
We've never done it that way before . . .
You haven't considered . . .
We have too many projects now . . .
It won't work . . . We haven't the time . . . We're not ready for it yet. . . It's all right in theory, but not in practice . . .
Let's be practical . . . Why start anything now?. ..
You know, I think you really are dumb . . .
Has anyone else tried it?. . . It's been the same for ten years. Why change now?. . . Figure 9-1
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After they've responded with "joke" several times, I ask, "What do you call the white part of an egg?"
The audience invariably answers, "yolk." Which leaves me won-dering what they would call the yellow part of an egg.
In another exercise, I begin by saying, "Imagine you are a bus dri-ver and it is your mission to drive your bus due north four miles, due east three miles, due south two miles, and due west one mile."
While my listeners are trying to track the bus's route in their minds, I ask the question: "How old is the bus driver?"
Few people remember that I began by saying "Imagine you are a bus driver...."
In the third exercise, I ask the audience to give me a four-letter word beginning with s that describes what you do when you go to a mall.
That one's a piece of cake: Shop.
Now, I say, give me a four-letter word starting with s that describes what you do when you return merchandise to exchange it for something else.
Most of the audience responds: Swap.
Now (listen carefully), think of a word that describes what you do when you come to a green light.
If you said, "Stop," you need to go back for a remedial driving course—or perhaps you need to take a course in listening.
Note that I didn't specify the number of letters in the last word, and I didn't say what letter it began with.
These are more than cute exercises designed to draw chuckles from an audience. They clearly illustrate the value of interpreting and evalu-ating before responding to what you hear.
Wait Your Turn to Talk
When you sit down to listen, don't try to seize the floor before the speak-er is ready to yield—unless you are trapped in the presence of a nonstop talker and you have to interrupt in the interest of time. Busy executives don't have to become captives of long-winded bores. When you find yourself in the presence of such a motormouth, you may have to break in at strategic points and try to keep the conversation focused.
But in normal conversations, the speaker will let you know when it's
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time for you to speak. The signal could come in the form of a question, an expectant look, or a pause that gives you a chance to step in without interrupting.
As you listen, don't prejudge. Wait until you've heard all the speak-er's ideas before you make a final evaluation. While the speaker is talk-ing, focus your full attention on what is being said. Don't tune out the speaker as you frame your own response. When it's time for you to speak, you can take a moment to collect your thoughts. There's nothing wrong with an interlude of silence.
Don't Be Presumptuous
Good listeners don't presume that they know what the speaker is going to say. But they do try to anticipate the direction of the speaker's think-ing. They ask themselves, "Where is this line of reasoning going?" and they follow the speaker through the thinking process.
Questions should be used to help the speaker provide the informa-tion you want. They should not be used to grill or cross-examine. Keep your questions brief and open-ended.
Good listeners provide the speaker with feedback. An occasional nod, an "unh huh," and an "I see," tell the speaker that you're still pay-ing attention. When it's your turn to speak, paraphrase the speaker's message as you understand it. This gives the speaker a chance to correct any misinterpretation.
Taking notes is a good sign that you're interested in what you're hearing—unless, of course, the speaker is sharing confidential infor-mation.
"He listens well who takes notes," wrote the Italian poet, Dante, more than 670 years ago. Indeed, the palest ink is better than the most remarkable memory.
Over the years, I've watched how people take notes in my seminars.
Some write down everything. Others pick and choose, based on their needs.
Note taking is an art. If you try to transcribe the whole conversation, you'll be so engrossed in note taking that you won't have time to absorb, interpret, and evaluate the ideas. Just jot down the key points as you lis-ten. The important question is, "How will I use this information later, and how easily can I retrieve it?"
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