Cognitive behaviour therapy takes the view that failure is not a problem, no matter how bad or serious the failure is. A failure can become an invaluable learning opportunity to grow and develop. The problem is due to clients perceiving themselves a failure for making mistakes and for failing, or not doing well, at certain tasks. The combination of the fear of failure and procrastination can prevent them from developing a realistic view about self, others and the future and, therefore, recovering from mental health problems. Over-concern with achievement can result in your being fearful of taking chances, of making mistakes and of failing at certain tasks. These fears, in turn, tend to sabotage the achievement for which you are striving, thus leading to lack of enjoyment of the task and a propensity to fail at it. `You haven't done it well. You have made mistakes' is often taken by the person as meaning `You are a failure'. People with low self-esteem or those who are worried about what others think of them and their work tend to make such an assumption, which inevitably serves to maintain the fear of failure. Once it is shown that there is no evidence to support this assumption and that procrastination is unhelpful, rather than helpful, in diminishing the fear, not only will the assumption and the fear be put into perspective, but also the client is likely to build up the con®dence and motivation to work on the procrastination. A helpful way to overcome procrastination is to refuse to base your self-worth on the result, outcome or success of what you do, to end comparing yourself enviously and resentfully to other individuals
who do achieve, to stop trying to be better than them (or to be perfect) or to stop pleasing others trying to gain acceptance and recognition. Instead, try to focus on enjoying the process of what you do. When you try to do it well, try to do so for your own sake rather than mainly to please others or to be better than others. Success is the ability not just to go from one failure to another, but also to learn from the experience of failure.
Technique: Define the term
Rationale and focus
In working with clients who have a fear of failure, getting them to de®ne the meaning of failure will help to clarify that there is a real difference between experiences of failure and failure as a person. There is often an incorrect assumption that not being able to be perfect in what you do, making mistakes, a rejection (e.g. job), or being criticised means that you're a failure as a person. How logical is this assumption that just because of . . . you are a failure? In the eyes of clients, this assumption is accurate and they never question it because of errors in their way of thinking such as dis- counting the positive, mental ®lter, black and white thinking and magni- ®cation. For example, Hannah (described above) not only discounted her achievements (e.g. a ®rst-class honours degree, business success, having a book published and a happy family), but also magni®ed the `not so good things' through the use of `mental ®lter' and `black and white' thinking (Burns 1999), such as the fact that her ®rst book was not selling well and no publishers had taken an interest in her second book.
Failure as a person is therefore a target for intervention rather than the fear of failure. The therapeutic focus is to examine the difference between experiences of failure and failure as a person. Not only does it show that there is no logical connection between the two of them, but it also illustrates that, paradoxically, success often comes from experiences of failure. In using `De®ne the term', the therapist can ask, `What is failure to you? How will you de®ne failure? What do you have to achieve in order not to see yourself as a failure?'
Process
Therapist: You seem to have a problem with failure! Hannah: Yes.
Therapist: Because of? Hannah: I don't want to fail. Therapist: Because of?
Hannah: If I fail, it means that I am a failure.
Therapist: Let me see if I understand you correctly. Your assumption is that if you fail at certain tasks, you're a failure as a person. It hurts to be a failure.
Hannah: Yes.
Therapist: How would you de®ne failure?
Hannah: Oh. Failure is about not being able to be perfect in my work and making mistakes. It is terrible to be rejected by publishers or criticised by others.
Therapist: What do you have to do in order to avoid failure?
Hannah: Everything must go well: be perfect, no mistakes, no rejection and criticism.
Therapist: All the time?
Hannah: Yes. Otherwise, I feel like a failure. Therapist: When you do things, do you work hard? Hannah: Yes.
Therapist: When you do things, do you put in the effort? Hannah: Yes.
Therapist: If you have worked hard and put in the effort in your work, but the result is not good or does not meet your expectation, you will see yourself a failure.
Hannah: Yes.
Therapist: Do you have children? [Note: `Daughter's' technique is used in conjunction with `De®ne the term']
Hannah: A son.
Therapist: Do you love him? Hannah: Very much so.
Therapist: Suppose he was feeling low, down and tearful for not being able to present a project well at work. He saw himself as a failure, even though he had worked hard and put a lot of effort in. Would he be a failure?
Hannah: Of course not. Therapist: Because of?
Hannah: It was not nice that the presentation had not gone well. You don't expect everything to go well in life all the time. The important thing was that he worked hard for it and put in a lot of effort. Therapist: Hang on. He should be a failure according to the way you de®ne
failure.
Hannah: Oh. Ah. But he is not.
Therapist: How is it logical that he is not, but you are?
Therapist: Will it be helpful or unhelpful to have an unrealistic expectation? Hannah: Not helpful.
Therapist: Because of?
Hannah: I am fearful for not being able to do well and tend to procrastinate. Therapist: Such a fear of failure can not only affect your self-con®dence and performance, but can also make the procrastination even worse. Is this what you want?
Hannah: Oh. No. I can see the point you have made. Failure to do things well does not mean I am a failure.
Therapist: Absolutely. Otherwise, every human is a failure. How will you de®ne failure now?
Hannah: Failure can be a positive experience. I may be disappointed if I fail, but I am certain to fail if I don't try.
Homework
Hannah was asked to: