Although few people ever realize it, fear plays an overwhelmingly important role in the early child conditioning. And, since we have that early conditioning to thank for our later ISI, it is important that we understand two unique qualities of fear as a conditioning factor.
1. Fear is always a “hindering” force. 2. Fear is generally a “buried” force.
Let me illustrate those two qualities by two specific examples of fear conditioning.
Praise for a job well done, as in the case of the wise father with the child who wants to participate in the workshop project, is a “helping” force. It is positive in nature. It is a happily remembered experience. Praise is something to be sought after; we want to repeat the pleasure of the feeling of being praised so we try again and again to do something that earns more praise.
But what of the other side of the coin the rejection or punishment unwisely meted out? It is designed to be and operates as a “hindering force.” It is negative in nature. It creates fear. It creates fear of the painful experience being repeated. And, since it is unpleasant to remember, it is shut out of the conscious mind as soon as possible. Notice I said the “conscious” mind, for, with the strong impact of fear, it is not lost entirely. It plays its conditioning role long after the conscious remembrance is gone. It is suppressed and slips down into the subconscious mind.
So, we have fear, which hinders us in years to come, but which is hidden from our conscious thoughts. To observe this in action, let us assume that some years after the child had been rewarded or reprimanded (perhaps on several occasions) in the manner outlined, a new situation arises.
Father calls son and announces the time has come to “learn how to handle tools.” Father anticipates great joy on the part of son at this announcement. He is looking forward to the fun he and son will have working together in the woodshop. But such will not be the case.
Son does not remember the things that happened so long ago when he was so young, but he feels very uneasy. Son has been conditioned to fear the woodworking, or anything in connection with it. Is it surprising that the son probably won't be very excited about the idea, will have trouble trying to do what his father asks, will be prone to fail when he tries (thus releasing him from having to continue)?
Some prime examples of the kind of deliberate remarks that become conditioning for the very young carry in their own terms the fear factor they will create.
“You're stupid.”
“You never do anything right.” “You're always so clumsy.” “You'll never learn anything.”
“You'll never be as (smart, nice, good, etc.) as your (brother, sister).” “I know you're always lying ... I'll never believe you.”
When we add to this the number of unintentional conditionings that come about accidentally (through spilling things, breaking objects, saying the wrong thing, various other childhood mistakes) it is not surprising that many, many fears of failure have found a permanent home deep in our subconscious minds. All these fears help shape our view of ourselves. And so fear is largely responsible for our Inadequate Self- Image (ISI).
Why is the conditioning of the early years so effective in shaping today's image and even activities of an adult? Because the subconscious levels of the mind, while powerful, are noncritical. What is fed into them is all accepted as fact without any regard to logic or later learning.
To alter conditioning of this sort, we must bring new conditioning to bear. It does not matter that we know today that a failure at the age of four does not decree similar failures as an adult. The conscious mind uses logic whereas the unconscious does not.
The best way to understand this is to think of dreams you have had in the past in which impossibilities seemed quite reasonable while you were asleep. “I was flying through space,” or “I was in this house ... but it became a boat,” “I fell off the cliff but I just floated to the ground.” None of these things seem unreasonable while we are sleeping, but awake we would recognize them immediately as impossibilities.
They are accepted while asleep because the lower level of consciousness has no critical judgment or logic.
This means that all those fears we have suppressed to the below consciousness level stay there unchallenged by reality as we have grown and matured in our conscious minds.
The fears and repressed impressions of your childhood years, based on the most childish lack of understanding, often rule your activities today!
I will give you new conditioning thru Dyna/Psyc to replace that faulty old conditioning that is blocking your way to success.
That conditioning will permit you to both be a more adequate person and also to see yourself as more adequate. These two things accomplished, you will be a success!
For, realizing to the maximum your true potential, instead of limiting yourself to the ISI view of your potential, will make all the difference in the world. You will see tangible proof of this when, ninety days from now, you test yourself again with the material we have already presented.
BOOK ONE BOOK ONE
BOOK ONE