spiritual group may strongly influence your feelings about a particular religion or religion as a whole, but religion is an important part of life for many in
mainstream culture. The vast majority of people in the United States today—83 percent—consider themselves affiliated with a religion. However,this leaves a significant number of people who are unaffiliated, including atheists and agnostics. You will find mainstream Americans in all of these categories, so the information below about discussing religion and religion in the workplace may be useful to you.
Thanks to our country s bedrock
commitment to freedom of religion, the United States harbors a wide array of religions, among them Buddhism, Christianity, Hinduism, Islam, and Judaism. As a practical matter, there is no need for anyone to get involved in any religion; but for those who are interested, there is a plentiful assortment —numbering in the dozens—to choose from. It is not uncommon for people in America to change their religions, a token of the openness of opportunity in this area.
Seeking Religious or Spiritual Guidance
If you are seeking religious or spiritual guidance, it s important to understand that you re on your own in a variegated spiritual bazaar, where options range through dozens of religions and, within those dozens, thousands of individual congregations and spiritual leaders. If you have left an abusive spiritual or religious group, you will know that not all spiritual groups are healthy and not all spiritual leaders are trustworthy.
There are no laws or regulations in the United States about the
principles, structure, or beliefs that constitute a religion.
However, religious practice is not exempt from the law. For example, beating someone for religious reasons is considered assault, which is a crime.
Leaders of spiritual or religious groups include people at all levels of qualifications, from rigorously trained graduates of highly respected schools of divinity, to self-anointed individuals with little or no formal education in any area. Religious credentials, like any other credential, do not guarantee
character. Religious and spiritual leaders of every background may be upstanding citizens, or they may fall short in many ways. Ethical spiritual or religious groups should meet the general standards for groups of any kind.
Ethical spiritual or religious leaders and counselors should respect the
boundaries that apply both generally and professionally.
Talking About Religion
People in mainstream American are
expected to get along with others whose beliefs about the world and the universe are not only different, but may even seem bizarre or silly. If experience in a high-demand group makes religion a sensitive topic for you, the following guidelines may help:
You need never feel obliged to explain your own personal beliefs to, or discuss your religious affiliations, background, or experience with anyone.
You are expected to treat others beliefs with respect, no matter how weird they seem to you. You may encounter genuine interest about your religion from a person of another religion. This interest often arises from friendly curiosity and is not meant to be offensive.
It is also OK for you to show similar interest in someone else s religion. You may also run into attempts from supporters of other religions to persuade you to their beliefs. Because they are usually doing this from a genuine desire to help or “save” you, a polite, but clear
response is in order if you are not interested: “I understand that you are sincerely concerned about my well-being, but I do not care to discuss this with you. Please drop it.”
It s perfectly all right to ignore casual questions about your personal spiritual state, especially from people you don t know well. If a colleague, supervisor, or teacher repeatedly expounds beliefs that are distasteful to you or shows a bias against your religion, it may call for some serious self-restraint and tact to manage the situation. It s a good idea to consult your peers before you take any action.
Continued persistence by anyone in raising issues of religion in a workplace or school may be considered harassment.
Religion in the Workplace There is increasing discussion of
workplace religious issues. Some religious organizations require their employees to follow policies that grow out of religious tenets (i.e., not mentioning abortion as an option for an unwanted pregnancy).
It s OK for employers to ask potential employees to adhere to these policies in the workplace, but it s not OK to require obedience to the policies in their personal lives.
Job applicants in this situation need to decide whether or not they can conscientiously follow such policies on the job, and then to agree or not, accordingly.
Another workplace controversy occurs over the rights of individual employees or business owners to refuse to offer goods or services that conflict with their
religious convictions; for instance, whether
a pharmacy can refuse to offer certain types of birth control, or an employee of a pharmacy can refuse to serve a customer who requests these things.
Presently, these questions are unresolved.
Shopping
Shopping may actually be the most popular leisure activity of all in the United States today, but the old saying is still true: Buyer beware!
Shopping can be a very enjoyable experience.
It s free -- sort of. There s no charge for going into a store and looking at, or even, where
appropriate, trying on or testing the merchandise.
The weather indoors is always right, the merchandise is fun to look at, and there s something for
every age, size, and taste.
This is not an accident. Skilled human- behavior experts design stores to offer merchandise in the most seductive and tempting manner. Marketing and
advertising professionals earn good livings because they know how to
make you want something, get you into the store, and persuade you to buy.
People in mainstream society are ceaselessly bombarded with messages, both open and subtle, designed to part us from our money.
Mass-media ads suggest that you will be better-looking, more
successful, and more sexually attractive if you buy such
unrelated products as the car or beer they are promoting.
Lavish houses and expensive clothing denote the “successful” characters in movies and TV shows.
Toy manufacturers imply that children using their products will develop superior skills.
The American economy depends heavily on people constantly buying things. As a shopper, the challenge is to keep your focus on what you need and want, and to resist the enticements to buy things you don t want or like, or can t afford.
Shopping Tips
Those who like shopping may find it invigorating and enjoy hours of browsing and selecting among dozens of choices. Those who dislike shopping may just want to get it over with. Whichever description fits, you can benefit if you do the following:
Educate yourself about the product.
Doing this need not be a huge task. Most of us know what to look for in most of the things we buy. But when you are making a major purchase, such as a computer or a car, it s important to learn about basic aspects of the product.
Most public libraries subscribe to Con me Repo , a nonprofit
monthly magazine that tests products ranging from cars to pots and pans. (To use the Consumer
Reports Web site, you need to
subscribe; you can limit the subscription costs by buying a monthly subscription.)
Information from this or other consumer-oriented testing organizations will alert you to important features of the products they test.
You may not care about some of the features, but others might matter a lot. The ratings of various brands
may also give you an idea of their quality, although
sometimes the difference between the highest- and lowest-rated brands is not significant.
The many online “consumer review” sites mainly offer individuals
reactions to particular products, which is not useful if you want to learn about a product in general. Consumer reviews are a bit suspect because it is easy for a seller to arrange for favorable reviews and a competitor to post unfavorable reviews.
You can compare prices online at sites like pricegrabber.com and shopzilla.com.
Shopping will be more efficient and satisfying if you plan ahead. Once you
have basic information about a product, you can decide what is important to you and how much you can afford to spend. You can
Check local ads in print or online to get a realistic idea of the local prices, and to learn what stores are most likely to have what you are looking for.
If you have a long list of items, like a supermarket list, write them down. (Remember to take your list with you.)
Check to be sure you have the relevant information about size, color, and style.
Try to stick to your plan, including the budget.
Regulate your time and energy. When
you are tired, hungry, or in a big hurry, you are more likely to make mistakes—to buy something just to get it over with, or to get overwhelmed by a “bargain” that gives you more than you want and costs you more than you planned to spend.
Try to allow enough time to shop without undue pressure.
Notice any personal signals, such as a headache or hunger, that tell you it s time for a break.
Watch the impulse buying. Especially if
you are on a tight budget, try to avoid buying anything not on your list, from the “today only” specials to the candy bars at the checkout line.
Consider the relative importance of cost and quality. Sometimes it pays to spend
more and get better quality.
If you are buying a car or other big-ticket, long-lasting item, it may be better to spend more and get a better product.
In contrast, if you are buying a swimsuit for a child who will almost certainly grow out of it next
summer, there s little point in spending more than the minimum
necessary to make it through the season.
Read the fine print, if there is any. For
example,
“Subscribe now! Only $3 a month!”
may be followed in very small print by
“for the first 60 days, after which it will be $30 per month. Subscriptions are for a minimum of one year and price is subject to change without notice.”
Use your own judgment under pressure,
whether from a friend or a pushy salesperson.
Friends are usually there because you welcome their opinions.
Well-trained sales people will almost always have suggestions about what additional items you should buy.
You re the person who will pay the bill and use the purchase. It s wise to listen to others, but you need to make your own decisions.
Bargains
Bargains may or may not be the real thing. There are plenty of real bargains around. Among other places, you can find them
at stores that routinely reduce prices on merchandise after it has
been in the store for a set time, at post-Christmas or mid-summer sales,
at “outlet” stores,
in promotional offerings at new stores, and
at thrift and used-furniture stores, although it may be harder to separate the junk from the deals.
But the slogan “If it s too good to be true, it probably isn t” applies to some other kinds of bargains:
The man on the street who offers you a laptop computer for an “unbelievably low price” almost certainly has something to hide. The repairman who volunteers that he will fix your problem after work hours for less than his company charges is already cheating his employer. Why should he treat you any better?
The jewelry store that s been having a “going-out-of-business” sale for the past year is actually staying in business, presumably by pretending its actual prices are reductions.
Bargains work when
you re knowledgeable enough to judge whether you re truly getting one, and
there are safeguards if something goes wrong:
Can you return the merchandise?
Will the company repair it?
Shopping Online
Buying things online gives you access to a huge assortment of products and is very convenient, as well; you can shop at any time, and purchases are sent directly to your home (although someone may need to be there to receive the package). Or you may just want to browse online to get an idea of styles and prices of items you need.
Most online sellers are honest and reliable.
Many are large, well-known retail chains.
Others that have no actual retail stores are equally good sources.
If you have any doubts about the reliability of an online store, you may be able to check it out at
resellerratings.com, which has information about many sites.
Online swap sites are exchanges where
registered users can list items they want to give away and look for items they need. This option can be useful if, for instance, your family has outgrown a crib and you need a bed; or if you have clothes you no longer want.
it s a good idea to
browse through the items listed, note who is listing them, and determine how often people are listing items;
read through the FAQs carefully so you know what is and is not allowed, and find out what you can do if something goes wrong with a swap. To find swap sites, you can google “online swap sites.”
Swap sites tend to come and go, so note carefully the dates of reviews and other postings.
Online personal seller sites. You can also
find money-based exchanges, where individual sellers list items for sale. Some, such as ebay.com, are auction sites, where buyers can enter bids of different prices, and the item is sold to the
highest bidder. The owners of sites like these supervise them closely to protect potential buyers from fraud, but a few additional precautions are in order when you are shopping on them.
Unless you are buying a standard item, it s advisable to limit your purchases to items located where you can actually see them before you buy.
Some things are quite expensive to ship, and shipping charges may or may not be included in the price stated.
You need to know what to do in the rare case that an item you buy through the site is not what it was represented to be.
Ordering online. Some important
precautions when you order online include the following:
Double-check before you click Submit or Buy, to make sure that the merchandise you ordered is in stock, and that it is correctly listed on the order.
Check and understand the shipping and return policies so you know when to expect your order, and what to do (and how much it will cost) if you want to return it. Make sure you are using a
computer with up-to-date antivirus software.
Print out or save all online receipts so you have an exact record of the transaction, including the order number, in case of a dispute. If you aren t familiar with the merchant s name, see comparison shopping sites such as
PriceGrabber.com and
Bizrate.com to ensure that you are buying from a legitimate merchant, not a scammer.
When you provide your email address, you can expect a barrage of
advertisements. Businesses that
advertise by email are required to offer you a way to cancel these ads. If you don t want to get these emails, look in the small print at the very end for instructions on how to “unsubscribe.”
Paying online. There are several ways to
pay for online purchases:
Bill Me Later is an online service that lets you purchase from
merchant members without a credit card.
You order and purchase from a participating store on their Web site.
Bill Me Later will bill you. You can pay through an online checking or savings account, a written check on your account, or a cashier s check.
There is no charge to join Bill Me Later, but you will pay a high interest rate on any overdue balances.
PayPal is an online service that you can use to pay for purchases at many online sites.
Rather than giving your personal credit information to
a merchant, you can give it to PayPal, which will then reimburse the merchant. You can also link your Pay Pal account to your bank account, which will allow you to transfer money from a PayPal account to the bank or send money to another PayPal subscriber.
You can use your credit or debit card.
Before you enter your personal information and credit card number, it s important to make sure that the SSL sign or padlock is showing in the browser s address bar. If it s not on the page that is requesting your personal and financial details, don t enter them. Cancel the transaction and shop
elsewhere.
Note that if your debit card information gets stolen, you are more exposed to loss than if your credit card information is stolen; so if possible, avoid using a debit card.
Problem Purchases
problems, rather than solutions. Products may not arrive, may arrive damaged, may not be as described, or may fall apart on the second wearing. Service may be slow or incompetent. Especially with high-tech items, support personnel may be ill-
trained or difficult to understand. You can use the methods described in Personal Problems to correct these situations, whether dealing with the government or private companies.
The runaround. Sometimes you run into
an exasperating sequence of referrals, as if no one will take responsibility. This is a common problem with computer issues: A software company blames a hardware company or Internet provider, and the hardware company or Internet provider blames the software company.
One approach is to get a second opinion from a knowledgeable person about where responsibility really rests.
If the situation is serious enough to justify the effort, keep track of