Del objetivo específico 3

Ideologies of good motherhood stress that moms, especially new moms devote themselves to the care of their children. Career-oriented mothers have to work even

harder at motherhood because of the time they devote to their paid work. Fiona, Justine, and Shannon all talk about key moments when something just “clicked,” and they consciously decided that it was time to regain control over their appearance, and “do something” to reverse the “rut.” For Shannon, it was the end of nursing, and pumping, that freed her up to opt for less functional, more stylish clothes. Fiona says, “And then I think it got to a point where it was – “I need to take care of myself.” It was seeing [pictures of] myself, and not feeling good about what I was seeing, so…and it took me a while to kinda get to that point.”

Justine did not have such a clear “aha moment” where she decided that it was time to prioritize appearance work. However, throughout my interview with her, it was clear that she has a lot of self-doubt, and is really hard on herself as a mom. So much of her narrative is about feeling out of control, and just really feeling bad about both motherhood, and about paid work. The following narrative clarifies the former:

I sort of feed the kids. Like I wish I could feed them more fruits and vegetables and get my act together. Like it kills me when they actually ask for like a banana, and, “Oh my god, we have no bananas!” I can’t believe they are actually asking for something good for them, and we don’t have it. It kills me. Um, grapes they’ll decide, and so…you know I think I feed them, but I wish I could feed them better.

Justine really wants to feel like a good mother, but she is up against motherhood ideologies that suggest that as a working mother, at best, she can only be “good enough.” At the time of our interview, Justine was considering transitioning out of her full time position to become an independent contractor for her current employer. She was conflicted, however, even though doing this would give her more control over her paid work schedule. Her identity as a career-oriented full time employee is something that she

finds difficult to let go, and she couldn’t possibly fathom being a stay at home mother. One thing Justine can take control of is her appearance before she starts to look like “the dog’s dinner.” She says, in reference to letting it get that far, “I would feel bad about myself, like, I, it would effect my self-esteem if I went to pot.”

Fiona, Justine, and Shannon’s appearance work routine descriptions underscore how for some women, appearance work can be a way of regaining control over their appearance, and reverse the “rut” they feel like they are in. For example, when I asked Fiona to talk more about her appearance work routine at a later point in our interview, she still describes it as “very minimal” but adds, “[Now] I’ll do my eyes just so it doesn’t look like I’m tired, cuz otherwise it does. Um, so I’ll put some mascara on, and a little eye shadow, just to make my eyes look not so tired.” Justine also affirms the temporary nature of her resistance to certain appearance norms when she describes how adding makeup to her appearance work routine is a new thing, “I’ve sort of started making a little bit more of an effort wearing makeup [everyday]…. Like [for the last] couple of months. Cuz, oh…so for the longest time, I just needed something.” Shannon says, “I’m trying to…this…to sort of get out of the “mommy frump mode” that I feel like I was in for the first couple of years.”

Fiona’s “get back into the swing of things,” Justine’s “rut,” and Shannon’s “mommy frump mode” narratives suggest that their paid work environments may have only temporarily allowed them to feel okay with their resistance to appearance routines. At some point, paying attention to their appearance once again became important. Shannon expands upon her narrative from above, and describes appearance work as a means by which she emerges out of her “mommy frump mode”:

So I’m also trying to feel more thoughtful about clothing, and I’ve, I always would have on, um, I don’t really leave the house without makeup. Although it’s pretty minimal. Um, but that, that’s a sort of a necessity for me. Like I’d rather forego a shower than putting on at least my bare minimum makeup, you know? Shannon, Fiona, and Justine talk specifically about how engaging in appearance work helped them to dig themselves out of their “rut.” By taking time for themselves in order to look a certain way, these women are simultaneously resisting motherhood norms, and accommodating certain appearance norms. These narratives describe the ways in which flexible workplace appearance norms can allow some women to sideline appearance work to accommodate good motherhood norms. These findings also suggest that this sidelining is only temporary, and that the controlling nature of appearance work always wins.