DEMANDA

Evening on Gdrift. Milla/Crone’s room is filled with the orange of the setting sun and the blue of the garden. Milla/Crone’s eyes are projected via live-feed on the scrim. Milla/Maiden and Milla/Mother stand at the head of the bed.)

MILLA/MAIDEN

Agaat, if I were to suddenly recover my speech, could we, in these last days, find a language to understand each other?

MILLA/MOTHER A language…

MILLA/MAIDEN In which to make last jokes.

MILLA/MOTHER

But perhaps a lot of jabbering would have prevented us from getting to where we are now.

MILLA/MOTHER Where that is I don’t know.

MILLA/MAIDEN Where are we, Agaat?

(The following thoughts cascade over one another, reaching a climax with Agaat’s entrance.)

MILLA/MOTHER Perhaps I’m reading too much into everything.

MILLA/MAIDEN Perhaps I’m imagining her evil.

MILLA/MOTHER Perhaps I’m imagining her goodness.

MILLA/MAIDEN Perhaps I’ve been delirious this whole time.

MILLA/MOTHER Perhaps I’m more clear-minded than I’ve ever been.

(Agaat enters with dinner.) AGAAT

(Ta da!)

For supper there’s spinach, for dessert, stewed prunes. Green food and black food. To get you moving down below, Ounooi.

(She sets the tray down and exits.) MILLA/MOTHER

What must she be getting from the sideboard? I mustn’t hope for it.

MILLA/MAIDEN Fantastic thing it would be.

(Agaat brings the maps of Gdrift into the room.

Maybe they appear projected on the scrim?) AGAAT

The maps, Ounooi. Of Gdrift.

MILLA/MAIDEN Right, Agaat! An evacuation for an exposition! Fair enough!

MILLA/MOTHER A poop for a peep!

AGAAT

First the Pink Lady. Then the spinach. Then the maps.

MILLA/MOTHER Mrs. de Wet understands the trade-off!

(Agaat administers the Pink Lady.)

AGAAT

JUST A SPOONFUL OF SPINACH MAKES THE MEDICINE GO DOWN, THE MEDICINE GO DOWN,

THE MEDICINE GO DOWN.

JUST A SPOONFUL OF SPINACH MAKES THE MEDICINE GO DOWN, IN THE MOST DELIGHTFUL WAY!

(As she sings Agaat feeds Milla/Crone three spoonfuls of spinach. Then she moves on to the prunes.)

AGAAT Tasty, the little prunes.

(A low rumbling from Milla/Crone’s stomach.) AGAAT

Strike up the band.

(Agaat efficiently puts on rubber gloves and retrieves a suppository. She swiftly puts her hand between Milla/Crone’s legs to insert the pill.) AGAAT

Nothing wrong with the arse. Old nag’s arse. (Her hand is still between Milla/Crone’s legs.) Take it. Swallow it. Otherwise I’m taking the horse’s pill-gun. (Beat.) There we go.

(Agaat replaces her gloves. Milla/Crone continues to rumble away on the bed.)

AGAAT Hold on. I’m just returning the tray.

(Agaat exits singing “Coming in on a Wing and a Prayer.” The sounds from the Milla/Crone’s stomach get louder, more urgent.)

AGAAT (O.S.)

Are you still holding on? I’m just putting the spinach in the fridge quickly.

MILLA/MAIDEN As if I can call back!

AGAAT (O.S.)

Just don’t go squitter all over your bed, I put on clean sheets this morning.

MILLA/MAIDEN I’m trying!

(Agaat enters.) AGAAT

Aitsa! Look at the old mare sweating. No we’ve really got you going!

MILLA/MOTHER Thunder and lightning! Bring the pan!

AGAAT

Don’t rush me now. You make me wait for hours every morning.

MILLA/MOTHER Bringthepanthepan!

AGAAT (Holding the pan above the bed.)

So, Ounooi, you’ve seen what I brought you this evening? A surprise. All this time I’ve been thinking there’s something that you want to see and I keep missing it. Am I right?

Yes or no, Ounooi? There I go adjusting the mirror so you can see the blue garden, or carrying up all those dusty things from the cellar, and all this time it’s just down the passage in the sitting room.

MILLA/MOTHER

Yes, Agaat, you’re right. So put the maps under my arse instead of your holy of holiest pan.

AGAAT

Hay hey hey! What a convulsion-kick! When the lamb’s just about had it, it’s the last kick that hurts the most!

MILLA/MAIDEN

Stick the pan up your arse! Rather give me the Republic and its provinces—the whole south—then I’ll darken for you the Light of the World that the Dutch supposedly brought here.

MILLA/MOTHER

You’re excellent proof of what a bad idea it was. Your name may be holy, but your soul, Agaat, is at times as black as the hearth you crawled out of! (Beat.) Here it comes!

AGAAT

Don’t carry on so, Ounooi. You’re not a child, good heavens.

(Agaat puts the pan under Milla/Crone, who loudly shits into it. Agaat moves to the maps.)

AGAAT Right. How shall we go about it?

MILLA/MOTHER Leave me in peace! Get out! Out!

AGAAT

No, come on now! Since when can you do only one thing at a time? The way you’re carrying on, you’ll need a second pan at any moment in any case.

(Agaat grabs Japie the feather duster.) AGAAT

Here is Japie to help. Remember him? Every time I didn’t speak on the out-breath – WHAP – with Japie.

MILLA/MAIDEN I can smell myself! Please, help!

(Milla/Crone closes her eyes.) AGAAT

Come now, open your eyes and look where I’m pointing. If you knew how many

sleepless nights I had because I couldn’t figure out what on God’s earth you wanted from me!

What’s all this please about now? Enough of please, thank you! Blink your eyes when I press on the right place. I suspect somewhere on these maps is a spot you want to visit again. Do your bit.

(Milla/Crone closes her eyes.) AGAAT

Perhaps you’d like to inform me as well what we’re looking for here on these maps? You can rest assured I won’t give up. I don’t give up and you don’t give up. That’s our

problem, the two of us! Got, but what a stink you can crap!

MILLA/MAIDEN Please, Agaat! I need another pan! Clean me!

AGAAT

Blink one eye if I’m getting warm. Blink both eyes quickly if I’m cold. Do you understand me?

(Milla/Crone keeps her eyes closed.) AGAAT

Open your eyes Ounooi or I’ll stick your four lids up and down with plasters before you can blink an eye. Look!

(Milla/Crone does.) AGAAT

(Pointing to places on the map.)

Have you been here? Have I? What would we have wanted there? We know our place don’t we? (Beat.) Have you finished shitting now? Why are you looking at me like that?

Are you dumb? (Beat.) Right. Where were we?

(She returns to the maps with feather duster in hand. The following is delivered as a spirited call and response.)

Everything you forgot and never ever noted in your little notebooks! A neck, a head, a ridge, a corner. A kloof, a bush, a well. Spanned out, turned back, rested, trekked, stayed.

MILLA/MOTHER Please come and clean me. I’m finished now! I surrender!

AGAAT Surrender? That’ll be the day!

(She continues the litany. Things are a bit out of control.)

AGAAT Back room! Green door!

Mailslot! Lowroof!

Lockupchild! Without Pot!

Shatincorner!

Shatupon!

Dusterstruck on Agaatsarse!

Au-Au-Au! Ai-Ai-Ai!

Neversaysorry!

Sevenyearschild.

And then?

Can-you-believe-it?

Backyard!

Skivvy-room!

Brownsuticase!

Whitecap!

Heartburried!

Nevertold! Unlamented!

Good-my-arse!

Now-my-arse! Now’s-the-time!

(Lights down on them as Agaat continues to march around the room.)