Of all the ancient Mediterranean civilisations, French observes that the Egyptians – pharaohs to peasants – seem to have been the most devoted parents. Throughout the nearly 2,000 years that the pharaohs ruled the Nile River valley (ca. 3000 – 1000 BCE), the pervasive social expectation was that parents would have large families, enjoy their children, and rear them with love and care. Egyptians also recognised stages of child development and had separate hieroglyphs designating infants, toddlers, and adolescents.115 The bulk of the evidence comes from literary and artistic representations of the pharaoh and his family, and of other nobles, giving our picture a decidedly aristocratic cast. However, French observes that archaeological evidence from workers‘ communities, particularly Deir el-Medina of the new Kingdom (ca. 1550 – 1069 BCE), parallels that of elite families. Tomb paintings, from Old through the New Kingdoms, presumably depicting what the honoree wanted in the afterlife, frequently show father and mother surrounded by their offspring, eating, playing, hunting, and so forth. By the conventions of Egyptian art, the child occupy as important iconographic space as do other relatives and trusted adult servants.
This interpretation of tomb paintings – that parents regarded their children as essential members of the family –is corroborated by the prominence given their children in the official art of the heretic pharaoh Akhenaten and his wife Nefetiti (ca. 1378 – 1362 BCE). King and queen have their children with them at state ceremonies, hold them on their laps, kiss and embrace them warmly. This is no mistaking the fondness of these royal
114V. French. 2002. History of parenting: the ancient Mediterranean world. Handbook of parenting: Volume 2 biology and ecology of parenting. M.H. Bornstein. Ed. New Jersey: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, Inc., 348.
115V. French. 2002. History of Parenting: The Ancient Mediterranean World. Handbook of parenting: Volume 2 biology and ecology of parenting. M.H. Bornstein. Ed. New Jersey: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, Inc., 350
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parents for their children – or at least part of the public message conveyed by these official representations: Conjugal and parental affection is to be emulated. Social expectations encouraged large families, with 8 – 12 children considered a satisfactory number. Childless marriages were regarded as a disaster; such marriages ended in divorce or with the adoption of children, often those of poorer relatives. Because marriage occurred early for males – in their late teens – men had ample time to sire large families; females married in their early to midteens, common in ancient societies.
Fathers were proud of and honoured for their progeny, and bureaucrats kept records of all births. Compared with other societies, habitual ancient preference for males over females was mild in Egypt. There was no evidence of female infantile and few indications of any kind of deliberate neglect or murder of newborns. Mothers took pride in their fertility. In an inscription recording the will of the woman Naunakhte from the workers‘ village of Deir el-Medina indicates that although custom dedicated that males headed their households, yet women suffered few legal disabilities. They could own and convey property and could sue in courts in their own right.116 Naunakhte‘s will also show the expectation of parents that their children would care for them in their old age. An adage from the late period (ca. 664 – 323 BCE) advises ―Do not prefer one of your children above the others; after all, you never know which of them will be kind to you.‖117 Apparently, not all children lived up to this expectation; but most children probably did. Tyldersley opines that a New Kingdom scribe‘s instructions to his son counsels respect and honor for his mother: ―Double the food which your mother gave you and support her as she supported you. You were a heavy burden to her but she did not abandon you. When you were born after your months, she was still tied to you as her breast was in your mouth for three years. As you grew and your excrement was disgusting, she was not disgusted.‖118
116V. French. 2002. History of parenting: the ancient Mediterranean world. Handbook of parenting: Volume 2 biology and ecology of parenting. M.H. Bornstein. Ed. New Jersey: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, Inc., 350; F. Macdonald. 1999. Women in ancient Egypt. New York: Peter Bedrick Books, 10; G. Robins. 1997.
Women in Egypt. Ancient Egypt. D. Silverman. Ed. New York: Oxford University Press, 8: 80 – 89.
117V. French. 2002. History of parenting: the ancient Mediterranean world. Handbook of parenting: Volume 2 biology and ecology of parenting. M.H. Bornstein. Ed. New Jersey: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, Inc., 348; see also J. Tyldesley. 1994. Daughters of Isis: women in ancient Egypt. New York: Viking, 68.
118J. Tyldesley. 1994. Daughters of Isis: women in ancient Egypt. New York: Viking, 69.
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Despite the clear evidence of parental love of and investment in their children, there is relatively little evidence of child training practices. Methods of training in parenting must therefore be inferred from the information derived from medical treatments, school texts, and household archaeology. The extensive medical literature reveals an astonishing variety of tests used totry to determine the potential fertility of a woman, whether she was pregnant, and the sex of the fetus; this is little about normal childbirth, except for medicaments and incantations used to induce birth.119 Babies and young children spent their time in the household, and their care was entrusted primarily to mothers, elder female relatives living with the family, and older siblings. Babies were laid on cushions when they were not being carried around by their mothers, who used a sling to keep their small children close to their breast until they were weaned. In wealthy families, there were additional child attendants, often slaves purchased especially for this purpose. Elite families had elaborate homes with elegant furnishings. Working-class families had much smaller but well-ventilated houses, usually with a few rooms and a walled-in courtyard, where most of the day-to-day household work took place. Thus children were nearly constantly in the presence of watchful, attentive adults who were interested in and often delighted by their activities; as they became capable, children were expected to help with daily chores. Men and women spent their leisure together, often in family activities such as picnics or walks through the countryside.120
Children were breast-fed until approximately the age of 3 years – a comparatively late age for weaning in the ANE. However, given the contamination of the Nile River water – which the Egyptians understood as a potential source of illness – and the prevalence of barley beer as the main beverage, late weaning makes considerable sense for protecting the wellbeing of the child. However, given the Egyptians‘ desire for many children and the likely suppression of ovulation associated with breastfeeding, late weaning is perhaps surprising. Working-class and peasant women nursed their own children; elite families hired wet-nurses, a profession held in high esteem among Egyptians, in contrast to other ancient societies. Otherwise, children probably shared in their parents‘ diet – bread, vegetables,
119V. French. 2002. History of parenting: the ancient Mediterranean world. Handbook of parenting: Volume 2 biology and ecology of parenting. M.H. Bornstein. Ed. New Jersey: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, Inc., 351.
120V. French. 2002. History of parenting: the ancient Mediterranean world. Handbook of parenting: Volume 2 biology and ecology of parenting. M.H. Bornstein. Ed. New Jersey: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, Inc., 350.
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lentils, beans, fish, some fruit, and honey. For working-class families, bread was the mainstay of the diet, with other foods used sparingly and meat reserved for feast days.
Parents, then, created for their children a safe and pleasurable early childhood. But by the age of 5 or 6 years, children were expected to begin preparation for their adult occupations.
In all classes, girls were taught all the domestic skills they would need to manage their households. In working-class and peasant families, the vast bulk of the population, sons learned their fathers‘ occupations; training began with boys following the men into the fields or apprenticing in crafts. However, here too, parents took great care for their children‘s training for adult life. More privileged children – some girls as well as boys – attended school from the age of 4 to 14 years, where they learned reading, writing, mathematics, and singing. Sick babies and children caused their parents much anxiety because infant mortality rates were high. Nevertheless, children at least had the comfort of loving care and prayers.121 3.2.2 Ancient Mesopotamia
Without doubt, the ANE was home to a succession of kingdoms – Sumer, Akkad, Babylonia, and Assyria. French observes that in general these Mesopotamian cultures has a darker cast to them than the apparently more easy going and optimistic Egyptians due to incessant wars, litigious nature and unending struggle with comparatively unpredictable seasonal floods, and the mythologies that depicted a gloomy life and afterlife. This overall more pessimistic tone seems to have permeated family life as well. Literary or artistic representations of a happy home life symbolised by parents with their children are nearly nonexistent in Mesopotamia. It appears family life is not celebrated as children are almost absent from official and funerary art.122 Nevertheless, Kramer observes that there are proverbs, like the following from Sumer, which suggest that from the father‘s viewpoint, having a family was difficult: ―Who has not supported a wife or child has not borne a
121V. French. 2002. History of parenting: the ancient Mediterranean world. Handbook of parenting: Volume 2 biology and ecology of parenting. M.H. Bornstein. Ed. New Jersey: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, Inc., 351 – 352.
122V. French. 2002. History of parenting: the ancient Mediterranean world. Handbook of parenting: Volume 2 biology and ecology of parenting. M.H. Bornstein. Ed. New Jersey: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, Inc., 353.
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leash!‖123 Yet, having children was important as a barren wife could be divorced, and a wife who refused to have children could be drowned.124
In Babylonia, the Code of Hammurabi (ca. 1750 BCE) sets forth many provisions about how parents and the community were to train and care for children, particularly their economic upkeep, which apparently suggests the possibility of parents either neglecting or abandoning their responsibilities to their children. Laws protecting external encroachment on family even by adopted fathers upon the death of biological father were put in place. This also suggests the possible fate of children without fathers. However, fathers had the legal right to expose infants and sell their children into slavery.125 There are also severe penalties for children who enter into conflict with their parents.126
A picture of a desirable home life must be inferred not from literary or artistic representations of happy parents with their youngsters but from descriptions of disasters that could be imposed by the gods or underworld demons. Amidst the complicated aftermath of such experiences, that is if the word amargi literally ―return to the mother‖ is understood as a child gaining freedom from not only these external forces, but also the sometime tyrant father, it could be said that in Sumerian culture, mothers as opposed to fathers were regarded as the main source of training, protection, and comfort for their children.127
123 S. N. Kramer.1963. The Sumerians. Chicago: University of Chicago Press, (np); see also V. French. 2002.
History of parenting: the ancient Mediterranean world. Handbook of parenting: Volume 2 biology and ecology of parenting. M.H. Bornstein. Ed. New Jersey: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, Inc., 350.
124 C. Eller. 2000. The myth of matriarchal prehistory: why an invented past won’t give women a future.
Boston: Beacon, (np); V. French. 2002. History of parenting: the ancient Mediterranean world. Handbook of parenting: Volume 2 biology and ecology of parenting. M.H. Bornstein. Ed. New Jersey: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, Inc., 350.
125V. French. 2002. History of parenting: the ancient Mediterranean world. Handbook of parenting: Volume 2 biology and ecology of parenting. M.H. Bornstein. Ed. New Jersey: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, Inc., 351 – 353.
126The Principle of the lex talionis in Hammurabi‘s Code governed children who were in conflict with their parents. A son who denied that he was the child of either the man or the woman who reared him was to have his tongue cut out; a son who said he hated the man or the woman who reared him and then went back to his father‘s house was to have his eyes plucked out; a son who struck his father was to have his fingers cut off.
See V. French. 2002. History of parenting: the ancient Mediterranean world. Handbook of parenting:
Volume 2 biology and ecology of parenting. M.H. Bornstein. Ed. New Jersey: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, Inc., 352.
127 S. N. Kramer.1963. The Sumerians. Chicago: University of Chicago Press, (np); See alsoV. French. 2002.
History of parenting: the ancient Mediterranean world. Handbook of parenting: Volume 2 biology and ecology of parenting. M.H. Bornstein. Ed. New Jersey: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, Inc., 353
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The militarism of Mesopotamian cultures shows up especially in Assyria, certainly the most fearsome of these powers. Aristocratic fathers introduced their sons early, possibly when they were 3 years old, to the military life by training them to ride horses and to shoot with bow and arrow. However, the fact that in Assyria the morning greeting involved kisses exchanged among parents and children suggests some expressions of parental affection for the young. It was generally believed by the Mesopotamians that demons caused illness. One Labartu, portrayed with a pig nursing at her breast and holding a snake in each hand, was particularly dangerous to newborns. Surviving medical texts, representing both Akkadian and Assyrian medical knowledge, can tell us something about eastern Mediterranean societies‘ understanding of the health and diseases of young children.128
French therefore opines that overall it seems the rather pessimistic outlook of adult society in ancient Mesopotamia may have served to promote more emotional distance between parents and children than seems to have existed in ancient Egypt. However, it appears no scholar primarily trained in the ancient Mesopotamian languages has yet investigated parenting, family life, or childrearing in these complex cultures; research by specialists may cause a revision of these conclusions.