28th February 2013,
It snowed on Sexe-en-Provence, on this February, 23rd. Big flakes of cyprine. It even so much fell that I started to receive a lot of cancellations for my party. Some due to the bad weather there (« I am stuck in my fucking village I cannot come »), some due to the fact there that it is about girls thus we can never rely on them (« I know that I had said yes and even confirmed yesterday but finally we are tired then we will watch movie instead it is so much better…
- It is me who am sorry for you, after all, you are going to miss an awesome party ») and I also underwent cancellations because most of the guys are bad with the girls (« yeah I had invited girls and everything but at the last moment they do not come because [insert here diverse lousy explanations] then I come with guys instead »). Seriously, guys, even The Greek who is one of the worse guys in the Earth for his relationships with the opposite sex (he even has no phone) came with a chick for the ratio, and you... nothing… Shame on you !
NB: I even received a « my mother didn’t give me money so I cannot come », lol.
I didn’t lose courage because my two targets were very motivated: Charlotte and Marie. Two girls freshly poked and facebookly worked so that they suck me in the black room (the bathroom). My fault: in my haste, I had forgotten to remove the bulb then it was not really a black-room but rather a fuck-room (my new roommate had generously lent a mattress
moreover will need that I speak to you about him because he is such a fucking phenomenon).
All the same, I had done well to try to pick up these two girls: one came with 3 other hotties for the ratio and the other who works at Monoprix gave me a lot of bottles of alcohol free of charge. Seriously, the party cost me only €30 thanks to her.
I had invited people at 6 pm (and had promised them a crepe batter to motivate them to come early), but I am a big asshole then I came back from shopping at about 6:30 pm
(procrastination when you hold us). Hafid was already there, he came with a lot of parties accessories, and Arnaud my buddy-photographer-official-of-the-party waited. The guests started to arrive at about 7 pm: just the time for us to prepare the apartment and for me to suit up. Hafid, as for him, got dressed like Gros Minet. The pancakes were hot, and some girls too.
Diary of a French PUA - www.diaryfrenchpua.com - 99 / 325 As a result, we started eating (I have soaked my tie inside), I made obscene signs, fired with my pistol with balls on the first one who said a word and launched a playlist of rewarding movies on my computer. In fact, I had prepared it so that it broadcasts the good word : 1) Young People Fucking (7pm-8:30pm)
2) Project X (8:30pm-10pm) 3) Daredorm
4) College Fuck Fest 5) College Rules
Diary of a French PUA - www.diaryfrenchpua.com - 100 / 325 Three last ones are a little bit funny, amateur student porns which take place in apartments. I sincerely hoped that they would give ideas to some chicks and that was the case (I shall return there later).
Finally here we were, from 7 pm till 8:30 pm it was a little a « soft party », nothing very nasty, approximately 20 people, then everything suddenly accelerated: a group of hotties came in my threshold: Charlotte and her friends. Then, other girls, and guys (my ratio was fucked up but had sexy bitches there all the same). The temperature shot up with the games of alcohol (in particular a miniature basketball there and when you fail sending the small ball inside, you drink one tequila (bim bam bang)).
First Very Bad Trip thing: at about 9 pm, it rang, everybody told me « Come to see, an old woman is there.
- Fuck already the neighbors who are going to piss off me?! » And no, it was grandma
Lucienne. I had put a word in the mailboxes of the building, inviting the residents to be polite and a sort of participant in the student and workers’ protest movement of May 1968 very cool in her mind came. Extraordinary. It was HER, the mascot of the party : no dwarf in the oven but an adorable grandma who relived her youth. Unfortunately, my neighbors are not all so cool : at about 10 pm I received a call « idiot what is this mess, we will talk again about it, it won’t be easy for you ». It was the first one of a long series of annoy, and at one moment the cat disappeared and we looked for it everywhere (it was terrorized under a bed). At this moment, the coach asked me « how are you Cyprine? » ; the captain: « fuck there are people who call you Cyprine for good ? » .
I thus started to do not feel really comfortable, then when the Coach announced me « the DJ of the NRJ Music Awards is coming » I said to myself « noooooooooon I will die, I have to start looking for a new apartment » but, finally, it was funny to have him at home. It was really VBT that he comes mixing at my place, I didn’t believe it when we had briefly spoken about it the day before but here we were...
Diary of a French PUA - www.diaryfrenchpua.com - 101 / 325 Around 11 pm, Marie and the DJ arrived, we switched off the lights and the party really started. It is at this moment (of course) that Arnaud the photographer tidied up his device, bad timing, too bad!!! But I understand him: he did not want to take the risk to break it and then anyway it is not so grave. The main part will stay in our memoirs and in this text.
Midnight: the naughty girls swayed hips, the guys drooled. I remember having settled on the couch with the rum in the honey of my roommate, alone. That it is the technique of the sofa:
you sit down and wait to see who will make the effort to approach you. Marie came talking to me, then I handcuffed her and we danced stuck squeezed. Face to face, she goes down great low this girl, and I had wandering hands. Then, I turned her and caught as when we choke somebody from behind. That excited me to feel her buttocks against my hips and her hair perfuming my nose… I was the king of the world until a silly bitch vomited on her. The floozy in question is a girl that a buddy (we shall call him the mytho) immediately tryied to screw in the B-Room. Fuck of alcoholic then ethylic comas, I guess, because they stayed there 2 hours (even me, I do not fuck for such a long time) Update : in fact he did not even got hard. Marie went to clean herself while turning me on with just her glance, I smelt that she wanted to play, then I tried nothing just to make the pressure rise. Then, at a moment, one called me in a room and I left. Afterward, Marie was all the time approached except that when I passed in front of her, she left her pretenders and come towards me (WHO IS THE BOSS HERE ?!). At a given moment, her ex tried to kiss her then she presented her cheek by means of a dodge of great distinction then perceived me and came towards your servant « So, you fall again into your old faults?
- I don’t want to go out with a guy, on the other hand I will not say no to a good lover.
- Is it an advance or a proposal?
- Who said that I am talking about you?
- Touché. »
Diary of a French PUA - www.diaryfrenchpua.com - 102 / 325 I left her because girls offered me presents: boxes of condoms, sextoys, shirts, tea, a
sculptured potato, a megaphone and others. I decided to change, removed my suit and put on my T-shirt « I <3 Cyprine ». The girl of the Street-Fucking started to kiss me in the corridor in front of Marie and the Breton. The Breton, it is the girl of our group of friends I like teasing, beating and spanking and who repeats me indefatigably « what a jerk, I will never sleep with you » but who had promised me « during your birthday, you can drink some champagne on my tits ». I informed her and asked her if it still OK this story, and she answered « yes ». I was surprised but I like when girls keep their promises. The mytho always occupied the bathroom so I asked to sturdy buddies to kick him out.
I fetched the bottle of champagne that the Coach had lovingly offered me and that I had hidden, then went to find the Breton. She removed her top, I removed mine. « You are not obliged to undress, you know…
- I know but it is so that you feel more at ease.
- But you know that there will be nothing more, you are just going to drink some champagne and I go out » she did not spontaneously remove her bra, so I have took it off. I didn’t directly put it on her tits, first of all on the bottom of her neck and I licked by going back up to her ears. I still overturned and started again until I felt her breath accelerating. We put the mattress in the bathtub and she lengthened… I put myself on her to lick her breasts and I started making comings and goings against her loins « Stop, it’s enough ». I said « OK » I put back my T-shirt when pretending to block me she told me « wait ». There, I kissed her, I caressed her against the wall and my hand went into her jeans. I put her a finger then caressed her clit. She was boiling. I opened her pants to better finger her before trying a « Do you want to have sex?
- Yeah go for it, have you got condoms?
- Always. » You know, we had just offered me three whole boxes. As a result, we just copulated in missionary in my bathtub bicause : licking her or sucking me « it is too
intimate » she said. Charlotte entered the bathroom while I got ready to go out « have you a hairdryer?
- yes, wait, it is for what?
- A jerk fired on me some vodka with a water gun ». Ah OK. Then here we were, she dried her hair and I fiddled with them (in front of the Breton, balek). « Well I am going to leave you.
- You do not bother us.
- I am going to leave you all the same. » Then here we were, I was with Chacha, caressing her hair: we spoke to say nothing and even if she did not withdraw when I approached, she sent no active IDI. So I didn’t kiss her and was blocked. Needs to not mess around, that is not enough being hot, also needs to make an effort there.
Diary of a French PUA - www.diaryfrenchpua.com - 103 / 325 Marie sat on a buddy of me: I cannot be jealous, I do not absolutely know how long I was absent. I was not happy of course, but I sat in front of them and she avoided kissing him when I was there. What a politeness from her… Also, everybody asked me what happened and I said nothing. Everybody suspected: them, her, me. But I said to myself that by not admitting my crime, I opted for the strategy of the discreet guy, and that could make tilt the balance in my favor for a possible heterosexual intercourse with Marie. Then we were there, her on Vincent’s knees and me with the girl of the Street-Fucking on my knees. We then went to speak in the room and as soon as Vincent did not look I gave her a small spanking: she did not protest and played the game, the perfect submission…
I met a girl who wore a mask of Nicolas Sarkozy, I kissed her unguardedly. I don’t know who it was then that doesn’t matter (and that risks to remain a mystery). Eloïse brought down her telephone in crappers by going to the toilet and I lost mine by wanting to help her. She tried to kiss me, I evaded her, (too much filled she didn’t smell good) and she said « we are friends, right ? » You are too much intoxicated, girl. At the moment, I guess that a space-cake circulated but I didn’t taste it.
At about 2 am, I told to everybody to go out, that we met again in the club. The Breton went to the bathroom and made a sign to tell me to come. I have taken her doggy style against the wall and it was the first time of my life that I heard (I even believed dreaming) « stop, stop, I am going to have an orgasm.
- Well… then?
- I don’t want to have an orgasm with you, it is too intimate ». Then, the condom fell « it doesn’t matter, go on without.
- Ah no no no, I don’t know where you dragged. » I did a squalid thing, I put back the condom and have put it back in her vagina then we continued in missionary in the bathtub (it is not something I would do sober). Suddenly, the door waltzed, the Captain entered and photographed me at the heart of the action. I shall publish certainly on my FB (a little
censored all the same) when I shall have finished my job with Pauline (the girl who takes me for an angel with whom I decided to wait for 10 dates) and that the bellows will have a little fallen again. She is so VBT, this photo.
Diary of a French PUA - www.diaryfrenchpua.com - 104 / 325 So here we were, I noticed with dismay the mess that it was in the staircase. The girl of the street fucking, the coach and the captain made every effort to make people leave but my neighbor in pajamas prevented everybody from going out because he had called the cops. My party had turned in a disturbance of the peace at night and this band of sheeps waited wisely for the punishment… it was necessary to reframe them « Oh, seriously, do not miss to him some respect but leave. And you, you have never been a young person whom you piss us off ? OK, it is once a year and it is finished then go back in your bed ». As a result, the cops had nothing more to notice because my roommate and I had prepared our defense « yeah, it has been three days since we didn’t go out and we drink heavily, we were only both of us. » In brief, in the club, the girl of the street-fucking chow down on me (I have already fucked with her thus that didn’t matter. But Morgane came speaking to me « you dance with me?
- I am empty » (by showing her my glass). I had no desire to complicate things by gaming her there, it was 3 am but I had the impression that it was 5 am. Morgane, didn’t stopped touching me, coming talking to me, and now she added me on FB and gave me directly her number « I don’t like FB, send a short text message ». Too many IOI kill the IOI (I don’t give you all the details).
Diary of a French PUA - www.diaryfrenchpua.com - 105 / 325 I stayed with the girl of the street fucking and we spoke, while I watched the captain kissing a 35-year-old woman by approaching her as follows « do you like men with a moustache? ».
Beautiful. She is really top the girl of the street fucking, because while we ate French fries in front of the club, Pauline the working girl passed in the street then I asked her « hey there is a girl with whom I sleep, does it bothers you if I say hello ?
- No, go for it » so I kissed Pauline in front of her and everything and she did not say a word.
To reward her, we went to my place and had sex. Then, the next day, she almost cleaned everything (finally we helped her but that lasted something like 5 hours). We rocked 200 balloons through the window, it was magnificent. We cleaned tags in the apartment, it sucks.
We noticed thefts. In brief, everybody lived this evening in his way, I think. It was my version of it but I certainly forgot a lot of VBT things. Having said that, I arrive every year at the same conclusion there: to appreciate completely a party, needs to do not be too much involved (responsibility, organization, etc.) – in this case, I was too stressed. Then, when someone colored me hair in yellow, it was the pompom and I went off the rails. Btw, needs that I tell you the party of last year and the year before.
To conclude: it was a successful party even if that could have been 10 times better: I know that the coach fucked, I know that Yannick fucked, I know that Valentine and Marina fucked (with them then necessarily), I know that I fucked the Breton and the girl of the
street-fucking, I know that the mytho (almost) fucked, I know the other girl (almost) fucked, I know that Eloïse fucked with a handsome buddy of the coach and I forget others certainly. Marie and Charlotte did nothing on the other hand, Marie came back home directly after the party (tired) and Charlotte was in the club with us. It will be for another time, I hope. I am yet in negotiation with Marie to go in her car (which was not baptized yet) stop in a dark corner and… have a drink :)
May the God of the Game be with you !
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