Diferencia de amplitud en saxo tenor y arpa

1. Do you believe that people respond well to you?

2. Do you believe that you fit in with others?

3. Do you believe that it takes work to keep a relationship?

4. Do you believe that it’s easy to find a compatible partner?

5. Do you believe that there are many who are looking for someone like you?

6. Do you believe that you are a lovable person?

7. Do you believe that there are parts of you which would disgust another person?

8. Do you believe that a relationship can be a source of continuous celebration?

9. Finish the following statement: to find a great relationship, you have to _____________.

10. Finish the following statement: people like me usually have ______________ relationships?

As before, note down the strength of your beliefs in the above statements before reading further. This helps demonstrate the power of new information to change our beliefs and makes it easier to change other beliefs in the future. After you read the comments below, feel free to come back and measure your beliefs a second time to see how much they’ve changed.

1. Do you believe that people respond well to you?

This is another one of those “chicken or the egg” beliefs. Did the belief come before the experience, or did the experience produce the belief? Many times it’s a matter of interpretation.

“Respond well” means different things to different people.

What I generally find with clients who believe that others do not respond well to them is that at some point in the distant past, someone responded in a way that felt (or was mis-interpreted to be) ‘negative’. Most of the time, this ‘negative’ response happened early in life and set up an expectation of this being

‘normal’. If the client later sees that others do not have the same experience, the belief changes from a world-level belief (true for everyone) to a self-image belief indicating something is ‘wrong’

with them as an individual.

In the next chapter, we will discuss in more detail how these types of beliefs get their start. For now, realize that in most cases, somewhere deep in our past, we may have simply misinterpreted an event, which created a tiny belief, which in turn caused us to misinterpret other events, and the process blossomed into a strong belief we assume is fact.

2. Do you believe that you fit in with others?

This is a self-image belief influencing all of our relation-ships. It’s also a judgment we place upon ourselves and everyone else. How do we really know that others are happier or more confident? Maybe they’re just faking it. Or coming from the other direction, how do we know that we are more intelligent or morally superior to the masses? Maybe we’re just deluding ourselves.

If we hold onto a belief that we are substantially different from the majority of people, we create a barrier that tends to keep us separate. In extreme cases, it causes us to be alone much of the time, even when we’d rather not be. It also tends to create discord between us and the people we interact with on a daily basis.

Despite the vast amount of programming that suggests the sexes are as different as Mars and Venus (especially coming from people who cannot maintain a relationship themselves), we all have a body, a brain, a mind, an intellect, emotions, and goals.

We all want to feel respected and accepted by others. We all have a tendency to avoid pain and to indulge in pleasurable activities.

Those aspects of ourselves that are special and unique are just icing on the cake.

When we choose to believe that we are pretty much the same as everyone else, it opens a doorway to smoother relationships in all areas of life.

3. Do you believe that it takes work to keep a relationship?

Usually the result of several previous beliefs, which were themselves the products of misinterpretation and judgment, this belief comes up in all kinds of relationships, although more often in friendships and romance. Supporting this belief are the beliefs that other people don’t want what we want and that we are fundamentally different in some way.

Also involved in many cases is a hidden belief that we are not valuable enough to keep the other person’s attention. This, in turn, is based on another belief that people naturally choose to be involved with the most valuable person they can.

Supporting all of this is yet another belief that we have to compromise in some areas to get what we want in other areas, or in other words, that we are unable to get everything we want. This is very closely associated with a collection of beliefs defining what is ‘normal’ for a relationship. When we change our concepts of what is ‘normal’, most of the other beliefs change as well.

4. Do you believe that it’s easy to find a compatible partner?

This belief finally turned my love-life around. For many years, I assumed I was so different that there was probably only a dozen people in the whole world I could truly be compatible with.

Once I realized how this belief was limiting me, I decided to believe that there were many thousands of compatible women within my own city, and that, very likely, I’d run into several of them every day. Very shortly afterwards, I met the woman who is now my wife, and we’re very happy together.

I’ve known a lot of people who thought that only one person in the whole world could be their ‘soul mate’. Even worse, they believed there wasn’t any guarantee they would ever find each other “in this lifetime.” These beliefs set up an expectation that romantic relationships will rarely be entirely satisfying.

As mentioned above, this belief is supported by the belief that we are fundamentally different from other people, and so, when we change that belief, this one changes automatically.

5. Do you believe that there are many who are looking for someone like you?

This is a companion belief to the one above. If you believe that no one wants someone like you, then that is what you’ll experience. However, if you choose to believe that there are thousands who want someone exactly like you, then your experi-ence will be quite different.

6. Do you believe that you are a lovable person?

This belief is closely associated with several of the above beliefs, although focused primarily on romantic relationships. It’s also important only to the extent that we believe it’s important. If we believe it’s not necessary to build a relationship on lovable qualities, then the belief about whether or not we are lovable loses importance. And then there is the belief about what constitutes

“lovable.” For some, being lovable means lots of cuddling in front of a fire or candlelit bubble-baths, whereas for others, being lovable means having lots of integrity and honor.

Whatever we believe about our ‘lovability’ tends to be reflected in our lives. Choose to believe that you are lovable.

7. Do you believe that there are parts of you which would disgust another person?

Most of us have some part of ourselves we are at least a little bit ashamed of. Maybe we’ve done something in the past we’d rather forget, or maybe we have a birthmark that we think is ugly.

Whatever it is, some of us believe that others would reject us if they knew about it.

This belief tends to cause us to keep secrets from others, including within romantic relationships. These secrets create a separation that sometimes causes the other person to distrust us, possibly to the point of breaking off the relationship.

Once again, this belief is supported by beliefs about our value as a person, our being different from others, and the compatibility between ourselves and another person.

8. Do you believe that a relationship can be a source of continuous celebration?

This question gets into your beliefs about what is possible within a relationship. You will almost never experience some-thing you believe is impossible, and the degree to which you believe something is possible will determine the likelihood you will actually experience it.

This belief is based on another belief about the possibility of experiencing perfection.

9. Finish the following statement: to find a great relationship, you have to _____________.

Anywhere you find the phrase “have to,” there is an underlying belief. If you believe you “have to” do anything to find a great relationship, then you’ve placed limits on that experience.

On the other hand, if you believe you don’t “have to” do anything to find a great relationship, then you’ve opened the door to having a great relationship come into your life with no effort.

10. Finish the following statement: people like me usually have ______________ relationships?

Statements like this help to reveal our beliefs about what is normal for us. If we believe that people like us normally have lousy relationships, guess what we’ll have in our lives? If we believe that people like us have wonderful relationships, then our relationships will be simply magnificent!

To get to the supporting beliefs, ask yourself “Why?”

Whatever answer comes up in response to that is another belief, usually on a more powerful level. If you keep asking yourself

“Why?” for each belief that comes up, eventually you’ll reach a point where the answer is “just because,” and that is, most likely, a core belief. We’ll discuss this process in more detail later in this chapter.