Disparidades socioeconómicas territoriales

A number of factors exacerbate the relationship between migrant children and their parents, such as economic hardship, parents’ ill health, and living in a rural and remote area. Thus, the increase of parents’ needs is not met by migrant children’s support. However, parents’ needs vary in relation to what they expect from their children, but parents’ expectation is a strong factor in the definition of abandonment as perceived by older parents (both those who felt abandoned or not abandoned).

Some participants expected only money from their migrant children. They are less concerned about children’s contact. For example, participant A1 who felt

abandoned by her migrant children defined abandonment by focusing on only money. Also, participant 215N, who did not feel abandoned by his non-resident children stated that giving money represents not abandoning parents:

Abandonment means children don’t send parents money. Although they contact parents without sending parents money, they still abandon parents. (participant A1, interviewed 10/05/2008)

Giving parents money means that children haven’t abandoned their parents and they worry about their parents. In contrast, if children don’t send parents money no matter how often they contact parents, it shows that they are abandoning the parents. In my opinion, children should give parents money no matter how much money children have. Giving money can mean something. My children worry about my living costs. That is the reason why they give me money. (participant 215N, interviewed 12/02/2008)

Not only does money have meaning for aging parents, but also the children’s contact has meaning for some parents. In addition, the frequency of contact influences parents’ feelings. Participant A2 who felt abandoned said that abandonment meant children do not contact their parents and do not give their parents money. Also, it meant the children visiting parents without giving the parents money:

Abandonment means children don’t contact their parents and don’t give their parents money. Also, it means children visit parents without giving the parents money. Visiting and sending parents money only one time since leaving home mean abandonment as well. (participant A2,

interviewed 10/01/2008)

In contrast, the participants who expect only contact from their children gave the meaning of abandonment that either having regular contact or sending money meant such parents were not abandoned. For example, participant 192A, who felt abandoned, said this:

If children only contact parents without sending money, it means that they do not abandon their parents because although they have no money, they still keep contacting their parents. Moreover, they do not abandon their parents even though they only send their parents money without contacting them. (participant 192A, interviewed 8/05/2008)

Nevertheless, some participants are not concerned about money by their children, but did need contact from their children. Their meanings of abandonment focused on the children’s contact:

Sending me money without visiting means nothing. Also, abandonment means children don’t visit their parents although they send their parents money. (participant A5, interviewed 3/01/2008)

Abandonment means children don’t contact parents. Although children send money, without visiting or contacting it still means children abandon parents. Money is important but we should understand that sometimes children don’t have money to send parents. (participant 142N, interviewed 16/01/2008)

Participant A5, who felt abandoned, and participant 142N, who did not feel abandoned, indicated that migrant children’s visits influenced elderly parents’ feelings. Aging care by their migrant children can happen if these children visit their parents. Participant N1 who did not feel abandoned said about her meaning of abandonment:

Abandonment means children don’t care for their parents. Children don’t give parents money and don’t look after parents. I think children abandon parents because parents always complain about children and have problems with children. For me, I have never had problems with my children. I understand them and teach them when they do something wrong. On the Won-Mae4 [12 August is the national mother day], they came back home to Wai [to pay respect] me and gave me Dok-Mali [Jasmine]. It represents pure love between mother and children. (participant N1, interviewed 22/12/2007)

Therefore, migrant children are expected to care for their elderly parents by visiting. Similarly, the World Health Organization: Regional Office for South- East Asia (2003) gave the definition of abandonment in old age as meaning the refusal or failure to fulfill a care-giving obligation by caregivers. Also, Sijuwade (2008) stated that abandonment means there are lapses in the quality of care and in carrying out the responsibilities. For example, when one has abandoned the

4

On Won-Mae (12 August) in every year, Thai children show their gratitude to their mother by

Wai or Karb and will give mother Dok-Mali. Dok-Mali is the good smell white flower (Jasmine). It represents pure love between mother and her children.

elderly, there is no care given and no responsibility taken to look after the elderly. In this study, meanings of abandonment from participants are close to these two authors. Although some participants focused on money and contact, the meaning of these two things may represent care by their children. Thus, meanings of abandonment here represent the care that the parents do not consider is being met by their migrant children. However, although some care does not happen because of conflict between parents and children (as participant N1 said), most conflict comes from economic hardship in the family.