Los distritos de riego y la problemática derivada del uso de aguas residuales. 40

equivalent of this bizarre mode of advertising is the personal Web site.

Your home page permits virtually unlimited scope in presenting yourself to "eligible" women. Think of it as a billboard or gigantic display ad. In contrast to a conventional personal ad, you can describe yourself at length and in exquisite, even maddening detail, not subject to content or stylistic guidelines (nor even to the dictates of good taste, necessarily). Pictures and graphics can add emphasis to your words, and they cost nothing extra. This is a forum for your creativity... and a test of your ability to exercise restraint (just because you have enough rope to hang yourself doesn't necessarily mean you should feel compelled to do so).

Tell about yourself, your life, your achievements, your family history, your interests, your beliefs, your hopes and dreams, your eccentricities, your weird habits, and what sets you apart from the common run of humanity. Women would rather read your life story than your resumé. You are trying to attract a mate, not an employer. Your site will be most effective if it is of general interest, especially to the target audience, single women. Embellish your page with discussions of social issues, essays on "why there are no good men left", short fiction about unhappy love affairs, True Confessions, False Confessions, recipes, consumer topics, and articles you have written on health and nutrition issues. Showcase your talents, not your ego.

As is generally the case, a touch of humor sprinkles

magic pixie dust

on creative endeavor. A candid photo of yourself just after that pot of lasagna spilled on your head, or when you fell into your neighbor's irrigation ditch can't help but appeal to the mothering instinct of the women seeing it. Nothing beats a picture of your six−month−old self lying naked, bottom up, on a bearskin rug for sheer cloying cuteness. If all else fails, take that boring photo of yourself standing there on that used car lot with a silly smile plastered on your face and scan it upside down. It will embed itself in the minds of those who see it like a termite infestation.

Make your page readable. You can't go wrong with a bold font on a light background. Don't overdo the pictures and graphics. No one wants to wait 15 minutes for a page to load, only to find something just slightly less garish than a supermarket flyer. Go for elegance and simplicity, as it creates a favorable impression, not to mention making you look good.

Few people will stumble upon your site by accident, and a systematic effort to announce it will save your page from the lamentable fate of parading wearily up and down the sidewalks of the Web with no one noticing. For a start, consider placing it in the Singles Online WebRing. Submit the page to at least a few of the more important Web search engines. Put the URL in the signature line of your e−mail and newsgroup posts. Be sure to reference it in any personal ads you place. Wear a custom−designed tee shirt advertising your site. Print up and distribute flyers announcing it. Put it on your business card. Send out press releases. Trumpet yourself to the world, and let your site be your trumpet.

HOW−2 Meet Women

by

Cartaphilus

Chapter 8

Places i

Where Are They?

Women are everywhere. You encounter them at work, at the supermarket, on the street. She is the person in the apartment down the hall, your sister's best friend, the clerk at the convenience store, the one you bump into at the laundromat. Why then is it so difficult to connect? On the one hand, these women may not even be aware of your existence, and making yourself known to them − leaping the hurdle of the introduction and acquaintance period is, as yet, too daunting for your fledgling social skills. Conversely, perhaps you are already acquainted, familiar, all too familiar, commonplace, taken for granted and ignored.

Distance is the key concept here. An element of strangeness, the unknown, the exotic, all this hints at the intriguing possibilities of romance. It helps to be recognizable, yet not so well known that familiarity trivializes the budding relationship, and yes, breeds contempt.

The course of love is rocky, by custom, tradition, and myth. Romantic love thrives on adversity, on

challenge, on resistance, on hindrances, on barriers to be overcome, on prohibitions, on taboos to be broken, on tension, on crises, on anguish, on despair, on secret meetings, on stolen kisses, on forbidden touches, on disapproving parents, on broken−glass topped walls that keep lovers apart. If matters proceed too easily, too smoothly, then the excitement gradually leaks out of the relationship, the tension dissipates, and matters slowly coast downhill toward the dreaded pronouncement of "let's just be friends".

ii At Work

The workplace would seem the most logical place to find a lover. What could be more natural than to befriend, and to form close bonds with your colleagues? Working side by side, being on the same team, sharing responsibilities, basking in triumph and bouncing back from failure together, all this forges camaraderie. This can be the prelude to close friendship, even an intimate relationship or two.

At work, you see the same women, day after day. This situation favors a measured approach to enlarging your circle of female acquaintances. If you are a bit leery of asking to be introduced to someone you wish to meet, you can always practice a bit of subtlety. Smile at her one day. See if she returns your smile. If so, make a routine of exchanging smiles every morning and evening. Begin to wave 'hello' to her. Finally, you might get to the point where you actually exchange a few words... and things may progress from there. The advantage of this strategy is that either of you can stop, or even retreat at any point in the process without undue embarrassment or trauma.

A workplace romance with a subordinate, or, worse yet, with a supervisor, can be risky. It may interfere with the performance of your duties and jeopardize your advancement or even continued tenure on the job. Making an advance toward a fellow employee (or having one made toward you) could destabilize or upset the delicate relationships in your working group. Exercise caution, or, at the very least, discretion.

iii Where To Look

People close to home

Neighbors Friends

Friends of friends People you grew up with Sisters of childhood friends

Introductions by family members and relatives

Matchmaking maiden aunts have been subjected to ridicule for generations, but they have helped many a lonely man find the woman who finally brought him happiness.

Religious services and functions

Sharing a common religious heritage and spiritual experience creates powerful bonds between people.

School (continuing education, alternative education, night school)

Classes where there would likely be a high proportion of women: Gourmet cookery

Foreign language instruction Literature

Creative writing Music and fine arts Philosophy

Sewing, embroidery, weaving

Crafts instruction (pottery, silversmithing, stained glass) Medical technology and nutrition

New Age / spirituality (astrology, tarot, I Ching)

Activities and hobbies

Reading clubs and literary circles Poetry readings

Writers workshops Discussion groups

Cultural events Museums

Concerts Street fairs Flea markets

Folk, square, and country dancing

Volunteer work charity

Literacy programs Homeless shelters Soup kitchens Nursing homes

Visiting the sick at local hospitals

Community organizations, meetings

Political organizations and activities

(Join your local Democratic or Republican club)

Block or neighborhood association School board Sports Bowling Tennis Badminton Volleyball Softball Skiing Swimming Bicycling Sailing Archery Miniature golf Gaming Clubs Board Games −−−−− −−−−−

Your local Scrabble [TM] club,

a great place to meet women and, incidentally, enjoy yourself. Chess clubs are attracting an increasing number of women. Bridge

If you can't play, learn...

A "fourth" for bridge is always in demand. Backgammon

The premier hiking organization remains American Youth Hostels (AYH). Despite its name, there is no age limit for membership, and people of all ages participate in its day trips, bike/hike outings, and other

activities. With its annual membership fee still at about $20 for adults, this is a great bargain.

Based on one person's experience of day hikes with the New York City chapter some years back, there always seemed to be a sufficiency of single women in the 20 − 60 year age group participating, certainly enough to keep things interesting. As the word got around that this was a good way for women to meet eligible men, the proportion of women to men on the trips increased from an average 1:3 to as high as 2:1.

AYH 733 15th Street, NW Suite 840 Washington, DC 20005 (202) 783−6161 (202) 783−6171 Fax [email protected] http://www.hiayh.org Supermarket shopping

Become a "regular" at your neighborhood store. Plan your shopping trips for the same days and times every week, and you will soon be greeted by name by the cashiers and the other shoppers, mostly women, will get to know you.

If you have eight cans of single−serving spaghetti in your cart, that is a dead giveaway to every woman in sight that you live alone. A slightly "mussed" look, and a shirt with a button or two

missing contributes to the impression that you are not being cared for, and in need of mothering. Expect to be approached.

"Singles" organizations

At the bottom of the list, deliberately. This is a last resort option.

For the desperate.

The man who follows the crowd will usually get no further than the crowd. The man who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever been.

___

HOW−2 Meet Women

by

Cartaphilus

Chapter 9

Party Time i

The Party Vegetable

Is it a party in a parlour?

Crammed just as they on earth were crammed,−− Some sipping punch, some sipping tea,

But, as you by their faces see, All silent and all damned. Wordsworth

Being shy, you probably regard an invitation to a party with about as much enthusiasm as the prospect of attending your own execution. Just think, you could be standing there in the shadows by the back wall, surrounded by clusters of babbling strangers, feeling everyone's eyes on you (is your fly open?), in one hand a slowly leaking warm soft drink that has long since gone flat, in the other a limp stalk of celery oozing what is allegedly cheddar cheese dip. Your feet ache, your stomach is painfully knotted and spasming, and rivulets of sweat have long since dried on your forehead. This just might not be your idea of a fun time.

A strong case can be made for avoiding parties altogether. For the shy person, parties may be the worst of all possible places for meeting people and making friends, much less connecting with women. Parties have a justifiably bad reputation for stale food, rowdy and drunken behavior, and mind numbing stupidity on a massive scale. Calling them a monumental waste of time and energy would be something of an

understatement. All the same, before dismissing parties altogether as an option, consider them... as an opportunity to practice and flex your newly developed social skills, to use your imagination, to stretch and extend your confidence muscles. Parties are a challenge, a test of your resourcefulness and ingenuity, an exercise in risk taking in the social arena, a leap into the unknown, a roll of the dice in the grand game of people.

Shy man, you are certainly no one's idea of a "party animal". Party vegetable comes closer to the mark. So be it. "Grow" into the role, if you can, if you dare, for good things come at the oddest of times and in the

unlikeliest of places, even, heaven forbid, at social gatherings.

After all, what is your hosts' purpose in having a party? Surely not for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they'd have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi.

ii Tactics

Preparedness is everything. Do your research before stepping through the door at that party. Find out who will be attending. If possible, meet and get to know a few of the people beforehand. Perhaps you can arrange to accompany one or more of them.

It's the day of the big party, and it looks like you'll be going alone. Call the host. Ask if he/she needs help with setting up the tables, with food preparation, with decorations. In any case, arrive early so that you can meet and have a few minutes alone with the host and at least a couple of the guests. Stay away from alcoholic beverages and do not overindulge in the indigestible snacks. "Work the room" if you are able to, if you dare. Do not linger if it threatens to turn into an unproductive evening, and time your exit.

Man who arrives at party two hours late will find he has been beaten to the punch.

You might well call attention to yourself by virtue of your costume, especially where everyone else attends in normal party attire, or in everyday wear. Rent a costume. Come as D'Artagnan (of the Three Musketeers), or as Cyrano. A neck ruff and tight fitting pantaloons will do wonders for your appearance. The saber at your side will also command respect, and more than a little astonishment. Act the part − swashbuckle. If you'll be making a fool of yourself, do it in grand style, and with panache.

In a pinch, the local thrift store or your aunt's attic can supply outmoded clothes, perhaps a Nehru jacket from the '60's or a snap brim fedora that was last fashionable in the Truman era. Ancient "claw hammer" tuxedo jackets still turn up on occasion. Matched or mismatched, you can provide an amusing counterpoint to all the stuffy, business−suited party goers.

Be part of the entertainment. If you play an instrument, be it a harmonica, a pennywhistle, or a lowly kazoo, so much the better. Strap on a guitar and belt out the first few notes of a ballad, and listeners will gather round. Juggle a few balls in the air and gaping onlookers will jostle each other for a closer look. An

impromptu magic show is sure to draw an audience. Practicing the ancient lore of storytelling attracts those who have not yet lost the ability to exercise their imagination. Sketching funny caricatures of selected persons present, especially of women you'd like to know better, creates a crowd of curious rubberneckers. Even the prosaic art of telling jokes sets you apart from the other attendees.

For every girl of eighteen who can be broken down by feats of muscle power on the football field there are ten who will swoon into your arms at the sound of a Chopin waltz or mazurka.

F. Hoyle

iii

Discouraged by all the bad times you've had at other people's parties? Well then, throw your own.

Keep it small, inviting only a few of your closer friends. Keep it simple, preparing a bare minimum of snacks and refreshments. Lay in a generous supply of juices and soft drinks, and show your good judgment (and courage) by avoiding alcoholic beverages altogether. Plan well ahead, and pay attention to small details. Get advice from others who have thrown parties.

Be sure to introduce the guests to each other, if they are not previously acquainted. On to fun and

laughter−inducing games, such as 'charades', to encourage mingling, and, eventual pairing off by the singles. Then, dim the lights and put on slow music, suitable for close dancing. You, as the party facilitator, will find yourself free of any pressure to get close to any one particular woman, and for just that reason, it may happen of its own accord.

Any excuse will do. Your own birthday deserves a party, as do those of your friends, family members, and colleagues. There are major and minor holidays aplenty. Even a Groundhog Day party can be a memorable occasion.

The Entertaining and Party Planning Tips site gives some useful pointers, at least in the matter of preparing hors d'oeuvres and snacks. Likewise, the local library may have a few books on the topic of party planning. Your best resource, however, would be a friend or relative who has hosted a party or two of her own.

iv Why

Parties are one of life's obscure and enigmatic gifts*. As with anything guarded by a minefield, enshrouded in barbed wire, or buried in a manure heap, there must be a secret place... where there gleams something

resembling treasure, or at a minimum a "meaningful experience". If the entrance fee is a just bit stiff, the prize beckoning from within may be worth it. Perhaps.

Parties are one of those social institutions designed to preserve and enforce the gap between the socially adept and the rest of us, the "losers". If, as previously stated, "For the shy person, parties may be the worst of all possible places...", what then is the point of this exercise? If a party is a microcosm of human folly, it is likewise an opportunity to sharpen your powers of observation, to learn to differentiate personality types by their behavior in social situations. It is a stage where you can act out your own secret pretensions. It is a defiant piece of theater, a dare accepted, a demonstration that even under the most unfavorable of

circumstances, in a room full of semi−intoxicated, faceless, anonymous persons, the shy man can match his more socially adept colleagues in the art of mingling, of getting acquainted with strangers. It is a matter of experience, technique, self−confidence, and... principle. Witness that even this pernicious ritual, the social gathering, can be subverted to the advantage of a sufficiently motivated shy person.

If a stanza of programming code can be analyzed, disassembled, and "hacked", then why not a social gathering? Can group dynamics really be all that much more complex than a convoluted subroutine?

Is this, then, a "call to arms" for you as a shy man, an imperative that you absolutely must attend parties? On the contrary, it is a personal decision, a "judgment call", based on your needs, comfort level, readiness, and temperament. You will do perfectly well socially even if you never attend another party. Only be aware that you could, should you wish to.

In document Resultados del estudio de Diagnóstico Sectorial en el Estado de Hidalgo 2010 (página 51-141)