The structure of the letter can be schematised as in the following figure.
Figure 7. The structural moves o f Letter 9
salutation letter 9 greetings 2 characters introducing the product 107 characters incentives 61 characters credentials 74 characters soliciting response 48 characters signature and date r- detail 1 - offering product essential details ~ evaluation special offer pressure tactics request pressure tactics detail 2 detail 3 detail 4 detail 5 detail 6 short time for condition request deadline of special price
The letter has a total of 290 characters
As shown above, this letter has four typical content moves: (1) introducing the product, which involves offering the product, the essential details, the evaluation of the product, and predictions about desirable results for the product; (2) offering incentives, (3) establishing credentials, (4) soliciting a response, along with suggestions of urgency. All of the moves fit in well with the AIDA model. What does not really fit the model is the use of greetings. However, this respect, which has already been discussed in 4.1.2 of this chapter will not be considered further here as the discussion focuses on the content moves. This letter is mainly expository and the writer focuses on introducing the offer, using various strategies in order to convince the reader and attract the reader’s interest to the product. Some of these points were also noted by the managers. The following comments are typical of those made by the managers on this letter.
(1) “The main criterion forjudging a letter is how much information a letter reveals to the reader in the first few seconds. This letter is best because it offers the most information possible in a few seconds. It was considered to be written in a clear style and to be the right length for a sales letter.”
(2) “This letter employs symbols and different fonts to make the most important sections stand out. This is a very good strategy for attracting the reader’s attention.”
(3) “This letter has the brand name of the product at the beginning of the letter to tell the reader what this letter is about at first sight.”
(4) “Although the letter is short, it introduces all the necessary details about the product. There is no waste of words in the introduction.”
(5) “This letter is ‘O K ’ except that it says the product is your ‘most sensible choice’ (line 26). I do not like this kind of comment. The writer does not have to tell the reader what is sensible or not. The reader is able to make his/her own decisions.”
Although the above comments are not a complete list of all the managers’ views, they are representative of the managers’ knowledge structures and general expectations about sales letters. The first comment is related to the use of the formal schema: the preferred rhetorical structure is direct and focuses on introducing the product. The other three comments relate to the application of the world schema in terms of AIDA marketing knowledge. The second comment relates to attracting the reader’s interest. The third and fourth are related to the most important purposes of introducing the product and persuading the reader to buy the product. These comments can be used to provide some guidelines about what expert members expect from sales letters, and they will also be used in the detailed analysis below.
6.1.1 Detailed analysis
First of all, the communicative purposes can be seen as realised in the following two levels of moves and steps:
Move 1 Introducing the product (lines: 5-15) Step 1 Offering product Step 2 Evaluating product
Move 2 Offering incentives (lines 16-21)
Move 3 Establishing credentials (lines: 22-26)
Move 4 Soliciting a response (lines 27-32) Step 1 Using pressure tactics Step 2 Making a request
Move 1 is composed of three steps, Move 4 is composed of two, and Move 2 and Move 3 can be seen as having one step only. All these moves and steps, together with the lower levels of relevant linguistic forms, and the top-down relationship between all three levels will be examined in detail below.
(1) Move 1, introducing the product (lines 5-15), is composed of the following three steps: Step 1. Offering the product (lines 5-6)
Step 3. Essential detailing of the product (lines 8-15). Step 2. Evaluating the product (line 14)
The first step is realised in a question form:
n in xiäng yong y ö u h u i de jiä g e m äi yl täi göngneng z h u ö y u e, you (H) want with special GNE price buy one Class, function brilliant p in z h l y ö u liä n g , w äig u än jin g m e i de höubei 500VA de UPS m a?
quality good look exquisite GNE reserve 500VA GNE UPS QM
Do you want to buy a 500VA reserve UPS with brilliant function, good quality, and exquisite appearance at the lowest possible price (lines 5-6)7
As noted previously (4.2.3), a question form is often used to begin an advertisement to attract the reader’s attention.
Essential details are conveyed through 6 parallel sentences (lines 8-15). The details are clearly expressed, with each feature of the product standing out in each line. These details are introduced by: