______Writing ______Speaking
What is Good Business Writing?
There are many different types of business writing—memos, letters, reports, proposals, policies and procedures, technical descriptions, sales and marketing materials, and more.
Business writing also differs widely in form, from brief e-mail messages to book-sized manuals. But all written business communications share a single primary purpose. What do you think that purpose is?
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The primary purpose of business writing is to communicate information people need to do business. People read fiction and poetry for pleasure, letters to friends to maintain relationships, and essays and magazine articles to increase their general knowledge. But they read business documents because they need the information in order to do their jobs.
The best way to determine whether a letter, memo, or other piece of business writing achieves its purpose is to look at it as if you were the reader. Try that now by doing Exercise 7-1.
Exercise 7-1
Read the sample memo and letter below as if you were the intended reader. Then answer the questions that follow the documents.
Sample 1: Memo
To all staff:
Subject: Meeting
Three things for the meeting that you should think about ahead of time so you can come prepared to discuss. The scheduling of the reception desk continues to be a problem, we had it not covered twice this week alone. How to reorganze the space so we can fit in the new hires that start mid-month, Alan Gee who will assist Brenda, Martin O'Neil, the new hire for the customer service desk, and the other two are Selena Baraki and Dallas Smith, welcome additions to our staff.
It was impressive to see the way everyone pitched in last week, we got so much accomplished in so short of a time, you should all be congratulated. In any event, we will talk about that at the meeting also.
Sample 2: Letter
Dear Ms. Loggia:
Please accept my sincerest thanks for your application for the vacant position in our department as well as for taking the time to travel to our company to be interviewed by our hiring commitee. Your extraoardinary résumé was very impressive and interviewing you was a pleasure because you are obviously the kind of person who this company appreciates and would like to include as a member of our staff, your excellnt skills and experience would be a
perfect fit especially for projects such as the ASPIC which is to be embarked upon shortly after the first of the year, as well as the type of day-to-day IP services provided by us to our internal customers.
Unfortunately, we are unable to offer you a position at this time due to unforeseen changes in our budget that were not expected by us at the time your interview was conducted. These unexpected changes were announced suddenly by our CEO last week because of downward revisions to the profit estimates for the coming quarter. As a result of these changes we are currently experiencing a reduction in staffing levels and no indication has been given as to how long this unfortunate situation is likely to last.
Again, please be advised that your efforts and interest were sincerely appreciated by all.
Sincerely,
Answer these questions. Then compare your answers with those on the next page.
Sample 1: Memo
1. What's the writer's main point? Underline it. Where does it appear in the memo?
2. Did the memo include any unnecessary information? Cross out anything that you think was unnecessary.
3. Is any important information missing? What information?
4. Is the information easy to follow?
5. What is your image of the person who wrote this memo?
Answers
1. The writer's main point seems to be that people should come prepared to discuss three items at the next meeting. That point appears at the beginning, which is where the main point should be, so the reader sees it right away.
However, you might have thought that the main point was that four new hires will start work next week, or even that it was impressive that everyone pitched in.
2. You might think that the details about the new hires and even the congratulations for the impressive performance were unnecessary—they do not relate directly to the main point.
3. This writer forgot to include the third item that will be discussed at the meeting.
You might also have wanted to know more about what jobs Selena and Dallas were going to do.
4. Although the memo is very short, it is still difficult to follow because the writer jumps around and does not use transitions to move from point to point. Also, the writer's sloppy grammar makes some information hard to understand.
5. If you did not know this writer (and perhaps even if you did), you might think that the person did not pay too much attention to his (or her) work. The memo was obviously written in a hurry, without much thought. The result is a confusing, awkward, disorganized document with grammar, punctuation, and typographical errors that reduce the writer's credibility.
Sample 2: Letter
1. What's the writer's main point? Underline it. Where does it appear in the memo?
2. Did the memo include any unnecessary information? Cross out anything that you think was unnecessary.
3. Is any important information missing? What information?
4. Is the information easy to follow?
5. What is your image of the person who wrote this memo?
Answers
1. The writer's main point seems to be that the company will not be offering Ms.
Loggia a job in the near future. But that point does not appear until the second paragraph— well after the information that would lead her to think that she was being hired.
2. You might have thought that the details about the department's project and services were not needed in this letter. You might also have thought that the writer should not have included the reason for the budget changes. The reader does not need that information, and it is probably not appropriate to include it.
3. If you were Ms. Loggia, you might like to know whether the manager is keeping her application and will contact her when the hiring freeze is lifted.
4. The writer's style makes the information somewhat difficult to follow—he (or she) uses too many words. Several of the sentences are also too long, too passive, and awkwardly constructed.
5. It seems as if the writer is reluctant to give bad news without "softening up" the reader first. She (or he) leads up to the main point instead of putting it first. The writer's tendency to overuse descriptive words such as excellent and sincerely weakens the message. Errors in grammar, punctuation, and spelling negatively affect the writer's image.
Taking the reader's point of view, it was easy to see that the documents you read in Exercise 7-1 do not communicate as clearly and effectively as their writers might have wished. That's because the documents do not meet the criteria for good business writing shown in Exhibit 7-2.
Exhibit 7-2: Criteria for Good Business Writing The criteria for good business writing are:
Clear, concise main point at the beginning.
Enough information to support and/or explain the primary message.
No unnecessary information.
Information organized so readers can follow points easily.
Sentences and paragraphs short enough to read easily.
Clear, concise, active, and appropriate language that readers can easily understand.
Correct grammar, sentence structure, punctuation, and spelling.
Clear, Concise Main Point at the Beginning
You probably noticed that the most serious problem with the letter to Ms. Loggia was that the main point did not appear until the second paragraph.
As a reader, you know that you need the main point at the beginning, even if it is bad news.
Otherwise, you might be misled, the way Ms. Loggia was, or waste time trying to figure out what the writer's main point is. To write clearly, always put the main point at or near the beginning of the document.
Think About It ...
Go through three to five written communications—yours or other people's. Underline the main point in each document and notice where it appears. If the main point is not near the
beginning, or if you are unable to find the main point at all, you know that the document will not communicate as clearly as it should.
Enough Information to Support and/or Explain the Primary Message
In Sample 1, the writer left out important information—the third item to be discussed. As a reader, you were left with the question, "What is the third item?"
When you communicate in person or on the telephone, your listener can ask questions in case you leave something out. But when you leave important details out of your writing, your reader is left hanging. It is your responsibility as a writer to figure out what information your reader needs and include that information in the document.
No Unnecessary Information
In Sample 2, the writer included information that Ms. Loggia did not need— information about his company's affairs that might not even be appropriate to include. At the least, unnecessary information can confuse readers and dilute your primary message. At the worst, it can mislead readers or raise issues that would be better left alone.
Think About It ...
Go through the three to five communications again. This time, list questions you have because the writer seemed to leave out important information. Cross out any information that seems to be unnecessary.
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Information Organized so Readers Can Follow Points Easily
Sample 1 is difficult to follow partly because the writer failed to organize the information so you, the reader, could easily follow his (or her) points. Unclear organization usually reflects unclear thinking. Instead of thinking through what they want to say, writers with unclear thinking simply write everything down as it occurs to them. The result is a communication that jumps around, forcing the reader to go back to the beginning one or more times in an attempt to find the logical order. If you have to read a document more than once and you are still unsure of its message, chances are the writer hasn't bothered to organize the information logically.
Sentences and Paragraphs Short Enough to Read Easily
In the letter to Ms. Loggia, count the words in the second sentence of the first paragraph.
How many words do you find? ______
You'll find that the sentence is 82 words long. Most writing professionals believe that a sentence longer than 25–30 words is difficult to follow. They recommend that sentences in business writing should average no more than 18–22 words, less if the material is highly technical.
Think about the way you read business documents. Do you linger over every word, the way you might linger over the words in a poem or a narrative passage in a novel? Probably not.
Most people scan documents to pick out the important information. To help busy readers get the information they need quickly, keep your sentences and paragraphs short. Also, consider
using lists whenever you have three or more items to present because information is far easier to read in list form than in paragraph form, as you can see in Exhibit 7-3.
Exhibit 7-3: Use Lists to Help Readers See Information Easily
Both documents below present the same information. Notice how much easier it is to grasp the information when it is presented in list form.
Paragraph form:
More than 300 people attended last week's conference. The agenda for the three days included speakers from every division of the company and more than 20 optional workshops on topics ranging from recruiting strategies to computer technology. There were task force meetings on a vision planning, budgeting, marketing, and other subjects. We also had opportunities to visit a world-class museum, play a round of golf, and attend a theatrical presentation. The keynote speech was given by the CEO. All in all, the conference was a great success.
List form:
More than 300 people attended last week's very successful conference. The agenda for the three days included:
A keynote speech given by the CEO.
Speakers from every division of the company.
More than 20 optional workshops on topics ranging from recruiting strategies to computer technology.
Task force meetings on vision planning, budgeting, marketing, and other subjects.
Opportunities to visit a world-class museum, play a round of golf, and attend a theatrical presentation.
Think About It ...
In the written communications you are reviewing, look for any unclear organization, long sentences, and long paragraphs. Also look for any information that might be presented more clearly in a list.
Clear, Concise, Active, and Appropriate Language that Readers Can Easily Understand
Both Sample 1 and Sample 2 include examples of language that gets in the way of communication. Unnecessary words and language that is passive, pompous, or vague make it difficult for readers to understand what you mean to say.
Here is an example. Notice how much easier it is to read the revision.
Original:
Herein please find documents pertaining to the survey that will be conducted in order to determine the parameters of the property that is being disputed by you.
Revision:
Here are permission forms that we need before we can survey the boundaries of your neighbor's property.
In Chapter 8, you will practice revising these kinds of sentences yourself.
Correct Grammar, Sentence Structure, Punctuation, and Spelling
Both of the sample documents contain errors in grammar, punctuation, and spelling. Those kinds of errors can confuse readers. For example, a missing or misplaced comma can
change the meaning of a sentence. But even if readers are not confused, errors can make a writer seem less competent and knowledgeable.
Errors usually happen because writers do not take the time to proofread their writing, not because they do not know how to write correctly. Make sure that your written documents are clear and present a professional image of you and your organization by proofreading them before sending them out.
Pay Attention to the E-mails You Send
Errors are especially common when people write e-mail messages. E-mails are often written very quickly and sent before writers have even glanced at them to be sure they communicate a clear, accurate message. But e-mails are written communications just like the letters, memos, and other documents that we print out and send via interoffice mail and the postal service, and they should conform to the same standards.
Think About It ...
In the documents you are reviewing, circle or underline any words or phrases that seem be be too passive, wordy, vague, or pompous. Also circle or underline any errors in grammar, sentence structure, punctuation, or spelling.
Apply What You Learn ...
Find three documents you have written recently (not the documents you have been reviewing during this chapter). Select documents that no one else has edited or revised.
Use the Writing Checklist that follows to evaluate how well your writing meets the criteria for good writing.