Palabras preliminares
4.4 Eje 4 - Los desafíos de la educación
What happened to Jesus in the final moments of His agony? It was something that had all of the characteristics of a disturbing crisis due to the
silence of God.
In that moment, the Father was, for Jesus, the "Silent One." Jesus, nevertheless, reacted to this by magnificently distinguish ing betweenfeeling
andknowing.
In order to examine and ponder this crisis, we must take into consideration certain physical and psychological premises.
According to experts in this field, Jesus had lost almost all of His blood by this time. The primary effect of the bleeding was complete dehydration, a phenomenon where in the individual does not suffer acute pain but rather a depressed and choking sensation. As a result of this, Jesus was overcome by a burning thirst that He felt not only in His throat but in His entire body, a thirst like that experi enced by bleeding soldiers on the battlefield. Nothing in the world can alleviate this thirst except a complete blood transfusion.
Furthermore, as a consequence of this loss of blood, Jesus was overcome by a high fever that, at the same time,
gave rise to a delirium tremens, which in this case and in psychological terms is a type of mental confusion: it is not a fainting but a loss, more or less, of consciousness with regard to identity and surroundings.
Apart from all this, and placing ourselves on a more intimate level, we must take into consideration that Jesus, obedient to the will of the Father, was dying in the fullness of His youth, at the beginning of His evangelizing mission, abandoned by the crowds and His disciples, betrayed by one, rejected by another, without fame or honor, appar ently without results, with a feeling of failure (Mt
23:37).
His psychological state is reflected in the prayer of the psalmist:
Save me, 0 God, for the waters have closed in on my very being. I am sinking in the deepest swamp
and there is no firm ground. I have stepped into deep water
and the waves are washing over me.
I am exhausted with calling out, my throat is hoarse, My eyes are worn out with searching for my God.
(Ps
69)
What is more, in every human being there are levels deeper than the physical and psychological. These two levels could be bypassed in the case of Jesus. But there, in the area of the spirit, Jesus was able to maintain an admira ble serenity throughout His Passion.
Nevertheless, at a certain point in His suffering, the described circumstances dragged Him to a state of distur bance and confusion. A crisis? A loss of emotional stability? We do not know how to classify or describe it. A momen tary
night of the soul?
An extreme level of aridity? A fear upon finding Himself faced with the abyss?One thing is true. Suddenly, all the lights went out in Jesus' sky, as if a total eclipse of the sun were taking place. Around Him, from east to west, He saw nothing, heard
nothing, no one breathed. Absence, emptiness, confusion, silence, and darkness unexpectedly came over Jesus' soul like a wild and ferocious beast. Nothingness? Absurdity? Was His Father also among the group of deserters?
It was the trial of the Just One. Unjust people judged Him unjustly and condemned Him. This was to be expect ed. Nevertheless, at the right moment, the Father would speak up for the Son, tipping the scales in His favor. But, when the decisive moment came, no one spoke up for the Son. Had the Father been sitting next to Pilate and Caia phas on the tribunal? Was the Father also outside the door, simply watching the condemned man pass?
And then, to whom did He tum? All frontiers and all horizons had been closed off. So then, was "reason" against the Son? Had Jesus been an intruder rather than a messen ger? A dreamer? Had everything been worthless? In the end, was everything going to vanish in a psychedelic nightmare, in a deceptive mirage?
The "Son of Man" floated over a limitless abyss like someone lost and shipwrecked. Beneath His feet, nothing. Above His head, nothing. "Father, Father, why have you forsaken me?" It was the silence of God that had fallen upon His soul like a ton of bricks.
Nevertheless, all that was a
feeling.
But faith is notfeeling;
it isknowing.
Jesus was never as magnificent as in the last moments of His agony. He opened His eyes. He shook His head like someone awakening and shaking away a wicked night mare. He soon overcame that horrible moment. The aware ness of His identity emerged from the haziness of the "delirium" and took possession of His entire being. And thus calmed, He fought the last battle: the battle for cer tainty as opposed to evidence, for
knowing
as opposed tofeeling.
And from this ultimate struggle arose the ultimatevictory.
Without words, He said, Dear Father, I cannot
feel
You, I cannotsee
You. My inner senses tell me that You are far away, that You have become a mist, a fleeting shadow,inuneasurable distance, cosmic emptiness, nothingness. Never theless, in spite of all these appearances, I
know
that You arehere, now, with me;
"into Your handsI
commit my spirit"(Lk 23:46).
In the midst of darkness, Jesus leapt into the abyss, knowing that at the bottom, the Father was waiting for Him with open arms. And He was not mistaken. It was a glorious end. The Father did not save Him from death, but immediately rescued Him from its power.