El Dibujo como una herramienta metodológica

Heidi had a dance class that she was looking forward to; however, other peoples‟ needs, especially her children‟s needs, would take precedence. She literally came alive whilst talking about dancing and her passion for music, but she was not sure of attending the class.

Well, hopefully I start dance class in on the 14th _{just an hour every}

Saturday with my brother‟s wife that‟s a fiver, more money but my Mum and Dad paid that for me.

Linda G is reflectively cautious about her commitment to exercising at the gym. Her level of self-awareness is enough to keep the experience healthy, as she intends to now look after herself.

“Carry on. Carry on with what I am doing. As I said to you earlier, I have got to be careful that I don‟t cause I do overdo it”.

Max resigned herself to being sedentary, adamant that without the knee

operation she would be unable to participate in PA. The suggestion to doing PA at a gym, fuelled her frustration and anger about the situation.

Would like to have some PA but can‟t see it happening, I am not going to. I shuffle when I walk just getting by is hard enough without doing nothing else. Would love to be mobile don‟t get me wrong, unless they give me the knees, not going to happen.

Pol seeks the opportunity to be active and intends to continue where possible and acknowledges that she could be more active, self-critical, and conscious of her integrity.

Really would like to get back to gently doing something but erm I am active at work, don‟t sit down all day, walking backwards and forwards and around where I do work... Erm I would like to be fitter. (laughing) Definitely would, need to lose the weight. I notice it and thinking, really need to start doing something. Have had the winter and get less motivated don‟t you, so, so hopefully. I need to do something, doing line dancing, that‟s not really enough.

Pol would consider re-engaging in AOR if that were possible.

“Think that will be the next step is saying to the doctor can you re- refer me again and go back again”.

Mr T has identified a goal to achieve and is setting himself a path to for success. He is investing time and energy to see positive results and is keen to invest in the process wholeheartedly. He was determined and confidently spoke of his specific, measurable, and timely goal.

What is my intention? I will tell you now. I swim 8 miles a week. My intention is to swim 15 mile a week, so every month I put a

challenge to myself, I do 80 lengths now. So like yesterday sorry day before like I add 10 every month. So by the time Christmas comes I am doing two and half miles. I have put that as one of my goals.

Even although Patsy openly despised the gym, her intention is to return. There is a sense of urgency and she strongly intends to return to an alternative

exercising environment that she considers supportive, rather than attending the gym available on AOR.

Dav has bouts of utter despair and fluctuates between total withdrawal from life and considering re-engagement. Dav‟s needs are delicate and it takes a

significant amount of courage for him to trust others to help him, requiring genuine support and conversation to overcome his ambivalence about being physically active again. He has an underlying hope to be able to break the wall of isolation previously required for self-preservation.

Do you know what, to be totally honest with you I have not got any plans. I sound like a sad sack don‟t I. But erm. ... In my head, I have not got any plans. In my head I have not got no plans. I am sitting off like an idiot. I am not doing nothing for myself. There are things I could be doing things for myself, (i.e. going to gym and getting out in the wheelchair). Just people seeing me in that chair, just Arghh, arh it makes me rage honestly, horrible. ... But erm, you say that gym has been refurbished I might actually go and see her again actually.

3.5.6.4 PA summary.

With regard to the themes of perception of PA and current and future intentions, the participants openly spoke about their fears and impact of PA on their current physical and mental conditions. Individuals were able to give examples of

activities that may be more appropriate in comparison to attending a gym, with water-based exercises being a popular choice for alleviating pain. Whilst there was mention of unsupervised PA, which could cause harm either through excessive behaviour and/or through injury, there was a divergence of opinions regarding the value of being physically active: some individuals showed the

awareness of the health benefits of PA, while other recalled past negative examples to explain why PA was not appropriate for them. Fun and enjoyment and currently experienced positive health outcomes seemed to be the positive factors encouraging engagement in the activities. Even those that totally

disregarded the AOR conveyed their desire to be more active during daily living in some way. The next section includes the personal reflection in the context of physical and mental health, social integration, and perceived quality of life.

3.5.7 Self.

3.5.7.1 Physical.

Physical health concerns were expressed by participants when exploring the lived experience of attending AOR.

Dav is obviously in pain from the extent of sweating during the interview and the need to move to release tensions.

“Erm, I am in pain constantly...makes it a lot worse...the pain is erm horrendous”.

Dav is worried about the impact of PA in the presence of current pain.

When I am in the pool it hurts. It‟s when I get out of the pool. But I think when you do circuits then next morning. I was in my normal pain I was in my normal pain but I had that pain on top. Used muscles that you never knew you had. You know I got out of the pool and I was like oh my goodness, could hardly walk.

Linda G fights her physical challenges and now has an outlet to channel frustrations that arise, not wanting to accept limitations.

“I can‟t admit, I am not disabled as far as I am concerned, although I am as far as for the actual physical condition”.

Max stated what the researcher could see. The new bed was delivered during the interview, suggesting a temptation to let it all go and give up on the fight for her mobility. It is a battle for her.

See that‟s another thing, got to have a new bed because where the knees so gone, sitting down I have to lie down sometimes. Because done something to circulation. You know where you get pins and needles and then cramp, mine bypass pins and needles and go straight into cramp.

Mr T is dependent on his scooter for mobility and accepts his situation.

“Like that scooter I‟ve got out there, that‟s that‟s so important to me, that is my legs”.

3.5.7.2 Mental.

Mental health can be a barrier to engagement in a physical activity programme.

Dav can be down to the point of hoping that it will all just go away. When experiencing that amount of pain, hiding under the duvet might feel like a good option.

When you don‟t feel like it, you don‟t want to do anything. ... You just feel, just want to wake up honestly there have been days where I have woke up and just thought just want to put quilt over my head.

Linda G is passionate about the gym now, having re-engaged after six weeks. Her natural self-drive and reconnection to youth and past ice-skating

experiences are obviously positive.

Yes, they said as well, you have really strong legs, I have the heart trainer up really high. And er I am one of those people who always has to be the best, not the best but at the top.

Linda G is open about the health benefits and the improvement in mental health she has experienced since attending the gym.

Much happier, much, I am still lonely but I can deal with it. I couldn‟t deal with it before. It was dark and cold and you know I knew I was getting fatter and fatter shouldn‟t have, just couldn‟t do anything about it.

Life challenges have been so extreme that Mr T has considered ending his life. He now feels he has a reason to live and is positively channelling his energy into things that make him feel good.

You know because I was so depressed. That you know it‟s it‟s it was terrible. You know, I was you know I was going to take my own life to be honest. ... Really and truly second chance for me to start second chance. Not everybody gets a second chance. I have got a second chance.

3.5.7.3 Social.

Social interaction at the gym can be either a positive or a negative experience for some.

Linda G expressed how the gym environment provided a sense of community of support that was missing in her life.

“Totally and utterly on my own, being able to come here, even if you don‟t speak to anybody in there, you know there is somebody there if my heart starts fluttering you know someone is here...”

External conditions that others may enjoy present huge challenges that tend to alienate Dav from society. This creates a sense of feeling trapped indoors and missing out.

Erm remember when we had that lovely weather really lovely weather, well it was horrible weather because I couldn‟t go out in the wheelchair when I did go out in the wheelchair I was sweating like. It‟s all erm, I am in for a hard time but, that gym just wasn‟t right for me.

Heidi struggles when with others and the thought of going to a gym is

unrealistic. The impact could have been very detrimental; alternatively, she may have connected with others who experienced life in the same way.

“Just get frustrated people do my head in. If I went to the gym again I‟d be I don‟t know what I‟d be doing anyway. Because I panic so much. My heart‟s always pounding”.

Pol is concerned about how others perceive her and is a role model inspiring others.

Want to take care of myself ... It‟s something that I do, I work helping people. Erm work with mental health. So it‟s about

motivating those people as well. So it‟s there you know. How can you motivate people if you don‟t motivate yourself?