One of the hardest things to drive home for a freshly unplugged guy is their tendency towards absolutism. You can’t really blame a guy who’s been desperate for intimacy for so long to want to follow some prescribed program that will only solve his most immediate problem.
“OK, what do I haffta do to get girls? Wear this? Say this? Act like so?,..” It’s exactly this type of literalistic, binary bent that makes most Plug-ins skeptical of the proponents of Game, and thus the veracity of Game itself.
Understanding the difference between Peacocking and having a style is one of these major entanglements.
“Wear a funny top hat? Black nail polish? Get the fuck outta here!,..”
Most guys new to Game tend to conflate the more extreme aspects of Peacocking with having a style or as Adam Carola puts it, having A look. This is a very awkward progression for ‘regular’ guys to make because for so long they’ve been told to Just Be Themselves. They find comfort in saying things like “I don’t want to be with a girl who doesn’t like me for who I am” yet wonder why they’re
dateless virgins who’ve never kissed a girl at 29.
A Look
It’s important to have A Look. The basis of physical attraction is going to be conditional for any individual girl, but always bear in mind that A look is contextual. The archetypal “douchebag” with tats and an MMA appeal is a Look. Guyliner, black nail polish and Emo skinny jeans is a Look. The guy in a 3 piece Armani has a Look, and there are dozens more, but the point is that women are in fact like casting agents looking for the right character to fill a role.
But, does “A” look really imply “any” look? Some of these men look so bizarre that it’s hard to imagine them conforming to an interesting character sought by a particular group of women. Can freakishness itself be a strong pivot in attracting women?
“Freakishness” to some is mundane to others. Everyone is playing a role by order of degrees on any given day and in any given circumstance. Where I work I’m free to wear jeans and a t-shirt if I so desire, but I opt to dress much sharper than that, why? Because it commands a certain respect, even if
it’s not necessarily legitimate. When I’m at a club, say, doing a new product launch, my persona and dress changes to match the environment.
A flamboyant PUA like Mystery doesn’t go around wearing elevator boots and top hats to the 7-11 to buy a big gulp. He still peacocks for sure, but it takes far less now because guys like him have
distilled the principle down to what draws attention in various situations. Club hopping in full Gene Simmons stage attire isn’t impressing anyone, but that’s what a lot of guys without A Look like to poke fun at – the extremes. An extreme douchebag, an extreme Emo, an extreme Orange County Chopper style, etc. make for easy targets, but that’s not the point of having A look.
Peacocking
Peacocking is not a style, it is a functional PUA skill ( use of props actually). It takes a sense of style to know how to pull it off effectively, but peacocking as a skill is more about use-of-instance than it is about your overall look.
When PUA studies were in their infancy, the idea of peacocking was pretty much a no-brainer. In fact it was a concept that libertines throughout history have always known. It’s not too hard a concept to follow since most socially intelligent people (and even low order animals) will want to set
themselves apart from the mating herd. Everyone peacocks to some degree. Just selecting a tie or a pair of shoes for an occasion may seem innocuous enough, but subconsciously you make choices and develop preferences for certain items in certain situations because you think they improve your appearance, and thus your odds for drawing attention to yourself.
The intent behind peacocking is more about having a subtle difference, or a conversation piece that draws a woman into your frame. Oddly enough (or not) I’ve found that nice expensive shoes seem to be a natural pull for some girls. This isn’t surprising considering most women’s obsession with shoes. One thing that’s important to remember is women’s sensitivity to covert subcommunication, body language, appearance, non-verbal cues, etc. In the briefest glance they’ll size one another up and come to operative conclusions about a woman’s status in their girl-hierarchy. It follows that they use the same tools with the Men they find attractive.
Most newly Game-aware men who are comfortable enough to venture using Peacocking don’t realize that a little goes a long way. Your Game isn’t peacocking, it’s just the flashy lure to get the fish to strike. It’s up to you to play the fish once it’s hooked.
THE 5 STAGES OF UNPLUGGING
I once read an article about the 5 stages of grief (confronting death) and how they apply to coming into acceptance of a previously rejected truth. Yes, I know, there’s no end to the ridiculous
interpretations of this played-out pop-psych list, but I was curious about how this might apply to an AFC coming to grips with unplugging from the Matrix, so I did a bit of searching and what did I find on my blog roll search but this:
1. Denial – Still Plugged -In: “These game guys are a bunch of clowns, there’s no way this works on
women. Women aren’t stupid. What a bunch of misogynists.”
2. Anger – Post-Red Pill Awareness: “This is ridiculous! Why should I have to jump through all
these hoops for women? I just want to be myself. Why couldn’t I have been a Natural Alpha®? I blame my parents/siblings/teachers/God/liberals/feminists/media/society, maybe those famous pussy- starved mass murderers weren’t so crazy after all.”
3. Bargaining – Unplugged: “Well maybe it does have some good points…but, forget the hot girls,
they’re way outta my league. I’ll give it a try if it can help me get around the bases with a Plain Jane. Do I have to wear the fuzzy hat and black nail polish?”
4. Depression – Bitter Taste of the Red Pill: “Wow, women really respond to this puffed-up act?
And guys spend big bucks on it and wind up with more ass than a toilet seat? And I just joined up for this? The world is sad and so am I…”
5. Acceptance – Game Awareness: “Maybe this is the way things really work. I guess I should give
up the gender relations mythology I’ve been holding onto…hey, what do you think of these negs I came up with?”
6. Jaded* – MGTOW Permutations: “Fuck learning all these rules. Sex isn’t worth it and women
aren’t that fun anyway. The last thing I want to do is learn routines or the 5 stages of pickup. There’s too many websites, too much to read, I can’t remember it all much less sort it all out. Who has all that time to go out and chat up women anyway? It’s not like I see any women under 40 at work at my engineering job to practice on. Video games and porn are more fun and more available. I just haffta look good and let the women come to me”.
relatives in, or just getting over, horrible relationships and how they’ve tried to unplug them only to run into stiff resistance. Looking at this process to acceptance it’s no wonder why.
* This is a late addition to the list, hardly original and arguably relevant, but I added it for precautionary measures since it’s a common aftereffect of unplugging.