IPA requires the researcher to interpret and grasp the meaning of participants’ sense- making through a process of phenomenological reflection (Smith et al., 2009), at the core of which are complex and dynamic cognitive processes which are embodied, transient, and fused with our engagement of being in the world (Finlay, 2011; Tufford & Newman, 2012). In order for me to answer my research questions, I understood that my own conceptual framework or ‘baggage’ (Kirby & McKenna,1989), my own cultural lens (Shope, 2006) and internal cognitive processes would influence the research process (Clarke, 2009).
Page | 48
To ensure that my interpretation of participants’ meaning-making was as authentic and trustworthy as possible (Houghton, Casey, Shaw & Murphy, 2013; Finlay, 2011), I first had to become aware of my own role, clarify my own standpoint (Khawaja & Morck, 2009), acknowledge limits of my knowledge, identify the source of my values and biases (Bolton, 2010; Dowling & Cooney, 2012; Pillow, 2003; Trainor & Graue 2014) and
become aware of how my values might shape and influence the whole research process (Berger, 2013; Darawsheh, 2014; Finlay, 2002; Finlay & Ballinger, 2006; Reinharz, 1997; Van Stepele, 2014). I achieved this through a process of continuous reflection, or
reflexivity. Reflection is a method of achieving insight by processing thoughts through a dynamic and deliberate sifting of conscious thinking and internal dialogue so that we learn from experience, develop self-awareness and improve our practice (Jasper, 2003); a process which leads to transformative change (Mezirow, 1990; Schon, 1983). The concept of reflection is often used interchangeably with reflexivity (Band-Winterstein, Doron & Naim, 2014) but I use the word reflexivity throughout this thesis, following IPA practice, in order to give a sense to the reader of the many layers of ongoing reflective activity (Smith et al., 2009) and strategic positionings (Bolton, 2010) that take place within an IPA study.
Reflexivity can be defined as a process of internal dialogue through which we question ourselves, interrogate and clarify our values and beliefs in order to develop personally through “diagnosing our situations, deliberating concerns and defining our own projects” (Archer, 2003, p.103). Practicing researcher reflexivity and maintaining a curious stance (Le Vasseur, 2003) underpins the phenomenological attitude referred to in section
3.2.1.a, and permits an open gaze to be projected towards the phenomenon under investigation. The use of reflexivity is particularly important for IPA studies. Grounded in hermeneutics (interpretation), the researcher has a dual role: I used the same sense making strategies as the participant, with whom there is a close and privileged interaction (Brocki & Wearden, 2006), but I was applying these systematically and consciously, using reflexivity to avoid risks of over-interpretation and taken-for-granted assumptions skewing the data.
Page | 49
By adopting a reflexive approach, turning a critical gaze inwards, and by consciously bringing up my thoughts to surface and scaffolding them on to a mental platform where I could gently open them up to critique, questioning, challenging and evaluation (Shaw, 2010), I was able to gain critical self-awareness of my own positionality and the limitations of my perspective (Brookfield, 2009). By making my perceptions, assumptions and value judgements conscious, I could sift, shift, assess and acknowledge their existence and potential influence on the research process. Reflexivity was woven continuously into the whole research process (Horsburgh, 2003), commencing at the very beginning when the research topic was being decided, to guiding how the research would be written.
An entry in my reflexive log early in the research process highlights my growing awareness of the importance of reflexive practice:
10th June 2014
As I began to start to write myself and my conceptual baggage into the text of this thesis, alongside that of the participants as fellow travelers, I am reminded of an African saying that was cited in an article I read: “When you are preparing for a journey, you own the journey. Once you’ve started the journey, the journey owns you” (Shope, 2006, p.165). And thus the importance of embarking on this journey of knowledge creation is honed through reflexive practice.
By applying skills of reflexivity from the outset of the research process, I found that a spontaneous and instinctive practice evolved in my approach towards the participants as well as the data. Taking a reflexive approach to analyzing data according to IPA methods made me aware that I was not in a neutral place when reading the participants’ raw
transcripts – I was reading them through my own feminist lens and from my own
standpoint, or point of view. Skills of researcher reflexivity therefore supported the quality and interpretive transparency of this study (Lopez & Willis, 2004; Shelton, Smith & Mort, 2014; Subedi 2006; Yardley, 2008), discussed further in section 3.10.
Page | 50
3.5.1 A postmodern feminist reflexivity
Reflexivity is considered a cornerstone of feminist methods (Bhavani; 1993, Probyn, 1993; Roschelle, Toro-Morn & Facio, 2010; Shope, 2006). By critically evaluating my own positionality, I could engage in a deeper data analysis as I continuously challenged my standpoint by constantly asking ‘Is there more?’ from what was visible on the surface. By applying a feminist reflexivity I could understand my role in relation to my participants’ roles and acknowledge that we were all immersed in issues of power and gender
relations within transnational medical and nursing education (Verdonk, 2015; Verdonk & Abama, 2013), which enabled us to inhabit a constellation of possible reflexive positions (Brannick & Coghlan, 2007; Pillow, 2003). Thinking reflexively, I could accept
participants’ views as valid and did not attempt to bend Bahraini female experience to fit neatly into my own perspectives. For example, in one of the participant interviews, Sara from the School of Nursing (SoN, Transcript C), informed me that she had willingly accepted her husband’s wishes and conformed to local male Islamic religious guidance that instructed her not to wear a colourful headscarf, or hejab. She replaced her vividly coloured headscarves which she had always enjoyed wearing, with black ones. Black headscarves are deemed more modest as they are less likely to draw male attention to the wearer than attractive, colourful ones. I employed skills of reflexivity to genuinely engage with Sara about the concerns she expressed during our interview over the loss of her ‘colours’, the metaphoric meaning of which is threaded throughout this thesis. During the interview I was aware of my own emotions of empathy, and even pity, from a western female feminist viewpoint; but those emotions belonged to my lifeworld, not hers.
Reflexivity enabled me to place value on her knowledge, and not to compare or measure it with mine. However, a reflexive feminist thinking also highlighted to me that my
participant does not operate in a vacuum; she too exercised power through her standpoint as she positioned me (Willemse, 2007) and decided how much of her intimate self she was going to share with me (Blaxter, Hughes & Tight, 2010; Nencel, 2005) as she contributed to the intersubjective construction of knowledge.
Page | 51
Although a postmodern feminist reflexivity cannot erase issues of power imbalances or inequality (Wasserfall, 1997), it does however create a space for the sharing of womens’ experiences (Smith, 1990) that can drive the agenda for a feminist epistemology and subsequent social and political change. Through writing oneself into the text as good feminist practice (Nencel, 2014), and focusing on how positionality influences the use of methodologies such as IPA in knowledge production, the scope of feminist research can be extended. Employing reflexive analysis, I enjoyed an affective ‘insider’ connection (Collins, 2000; Shah, 2006; Tong, 2014) with the participants which resulted in a shared female empathy extending across our cultures (Hemmings, 2012).
At the end of the data collection stage of the research, when the final participant closed the door behind her, I reflected upon my own experiences of listening to the narratives of these young women, and was aware of a conscious shift in the depth of my own
knowledge base. Below is an excerpt from my reflexive log on that evening:
26 October, 2014
This journey into the lives of these young medicine and nursing graduates has been so short but taught me so much. I now understand the meaning of postmodern feminism in practice, not just the theory. I have experienced it and lived it with ‘my’ participants. It brings women together from across the cultures, with many voices, and offers the possibility of driving change and making a difference. It is real. I feel privileged. I feel a sense of obligation towards them that from my findings in this research I will encourage change for their future, and for those who follow them. They deserve it. I am reminded of a title of an article I read about feminist research and connecting with participants: “I take them with me” (Band-Winterstein et al., 2014). By entering into these Bahraini womens’ lifeworlds and exploring their experiences of transnational medical and nursing education, I am also discovering my own lifeworld along the way. I guess this is the essence of reflexive practice.
Page | 52