III. DESARROLLO DE LA EXPERIENCIA PROFESIONAL
3.5. Elaboración de expedientes para apalancamiento de fondos
Orgasm isn’t always easy. Many people suffer from an inability to reach orgasm, whether it is the result of negative messages or experiences from childhood, poor body image, relationship woes, stress, or physical difficulties such as sexual dysfunction. If you are struggling to reach orgasm, remember that it isn’t a reflection on your relationship. And don’t lose heart:
with communication and openness, your orgasmic potential can still be realized in all its glory.
the relationship factor
Much of this chapter has been about the physical and mental things you can do to help reach orgasm, but it’s also important to make sure that your relationship is primed to its full orgasmic potential. Touching each other in ways you both enjoy isn’t enough. Respect and trust are just as key to your relationship satisfaction, both inside and outside the bedroom. To build this trust, you must feel safe expressing your sexual needs and desires. This includes being able to talk about when sex isn’t working.Many people find it daunting to talk about sexual pleasure, which is understandable, considering that sex isn’t something that most of us grew up discussing openly. However, there is nothing more important than being able to talk to your partner openly and honestly about sex.
faking orgasm
Talking is especially important if you haven’t been having orgasms—or worse, if you’ve been faking orgasms. I don’t need to tell you how devastating fake orgasms can be for your sex life.Not only are you cheating yourself out of sexual pleasure, but you are also chipping away at the trust between you and your partner. It may seem like a small thing in the moment, but faked orgasms can make your partner feel deceived and insecure.
If you have been faking orgasm, the best thing to do is to be honest.
Start by talking openly with your partner about your sexual pleasure.
For example, you might ask, “Is there something you want me to do in the bedroom that I haven’t been doing?” When it’s your turn to share, you can confess that orgasm isn’t always easy for you, and that you have sometimes tried to hide behind a fake orgasm. Emphasize that it is not your partner’s fault and that your attraction has not diminished. Then, follow the specific points below.
when she is faking For many men, it can be difficult not to take this news personally. Men love to give pleasure, and part of their sexual enjoyment and self-esteem comes from knowing that they have fully satisfied their partner. On some level, women know this, which is part of the reason that fake orgasms are so common.
Men, if you find yourselves in this situation, remember that her lack of orgasm is not a reflection of your sexual abilities. Quite the opposite—
it reflects what is happening for your partner, both physically and mentally, and can stem from factors that are entirely beyond your
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control. Your partner needs to be the ringleader in accomplishing her own sexual pleasure. You can help by taking the focus off orgasm, and encourage her simply to enjoy the different strokes and touches of sex.
Once she knows that you are there to please and not pressure her, she will be much more likely to relax enough to reach orgasm.
when he is faking Up to half the male population has confessed to faking orgasm at some point or another. Unlike the media’s sexually ravenous male stereotype, real men are susceptible to sexual difficulties, just as women are. If your partner is struggling with this, it will be a very sensitive topic for him to discuss. It is perfectly acceptable—and often healthy—for you to express that you feel sad or concerned that you aren’t meeting his sexual needs. However, remember that support is the most important thing. Listen to his thoughts, share how you’re feeling, and then try telling him you are here to support him, and you want to talk about this, even though you know it is a difficult topic.
seeking therapy
Once you start talking about what’s really going on in the bedroom, you can start to pinpoint where the trouble might lie. Is it a new issue that started happening after a recent relationship rift? Could the trouble stem from aging or a health issue? When you figure out when the difficulty started and how often it’s been happening, you can decide what the next step should be. If it’s an ongoing issue, you might consider seeing a doctor. Therapy, even sex therapy, may also be a good option. A sex therapist can help you work through any trust issues, and suggest sexual tips and techniques that can lead you on the road to better sex.
(For more on sex therapy, see page 57.) Describing what works for you in the
bedroom can be the missing link between a mediocre love life and one that is passionate and fulfilling.
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