ESTADOS UNIDOS

In self leadership, self-observation signifies awareness of when and why a certain behavior occurs. Manz (2013) described it as not only heightened self-knowledge but also, gathering information in order to change the behavior. What Manz (ibid., p.135) named the “lifeblood of self leadership” also proved to be essential to feminism, according to many respondents. Throughout the interviews, self-observation was regarded as not only a tool of feminism but a backdrop of the ideology. Rita describes it as a foundation of feminism:

I: ..do you pay attention to your ways of thinking, or to what you think of things or people or of yourself? Do you observe it?

R: Hm.. I am the kind of person who does that but in addition, it is

imperative both in this job and as a feminist. . .And of course as a feminist, like we were talking, seeing and recognizing these different things in society, for example, is really important and a kind of a starting point for all development. So for that reason, you have to acknowledge aspects in your own behavior, too, like why do I think like this..

In this manner, a number of participants associated observing the self with observing the society as a whole. In a way, questions of society grew into questions of individual agency. The respondents portrayed themselves as an active part of established external structures. Aura denotes:

I: ..do you find this, self-observing, important for reaching feminist objectives?

R: Yeah of course, that you notice exactly where your own stereotypical tracks of thinking lie..

Noel, who considered feminism a methodological tool to fight inequalities, also connected the observation to acknowledgement and critical thinking:

I do think it’s very important especially from the viewpoint that, you somehow acknowledge the typical defects. I would just be

54

male leader. . .It would practically enforce that one specific role model and a harmful chiché which we are trying to contest. So yeah, you have to acknowledge it real closely, even in an overly explicit way perhaps.

These approaches of gathering information about one’s own behavior, and efforts to alter it, echo Prügl’s (2015) notion of the individual responsibilizised to change their acts and beliefs to reach equality. Indeed, the participants demonstrated motivation to look inwards, assume responsibility, and in that manner, advance their feminist objectives. Yet, instead of altering themselves to suit the existing expectations and structures, the feminists in this case altered themselves to accommodate to their own ideals. That is, their objective was to think and act in accordance to what they thought was correct, “challenge my own thoughts” as Aura put it. What seems to be a neoliberalistic instrument was thus used for means that does not correspond with Prügl’s notion. An example closer to that approach is, however,

presented in the section 5.1.2.

From the preceding extracts it is evident that observing the self was associated with critical examination of how one acts upon their feminist beliefs. However, some respondents also demanded more critical assessment of not only the manifestation of feminist beliefs but also the way those beliefs are constructed. In specific, a critical examination of the ideology and movement individuals partake in was required by some. Amelia reflects:

I guess I’m wondering about this, self-critical way of thinking… I feel that perhaps feminism, too, needs it more… If you examine societal issues with a critical eye, you also have to look at you own ideology that way,

constantly. Because somehow I feel that the world changes too fast. We are such a modernized society that social media has brought so many

influences into this, information spreads fast and there are new changes constantly. We also need to examine ourselves more and make changes through shifts of attitude.

In addition to consciousness of the underlying beliefs, concern arose as to how to communicate those messages. Nadja conveyed criticism about feminist dialogue:

To exaggerate, [not discussing about different opinions] bothers both: these musty older men but also feminists, because the ideology, their own views of the world also blind them of dialogue.

Open and honest multivocal dialogue was regarded inherent to the concept of feminism. As a consequence, hindrances in discourse were found a particularly significant drawback. The

55

issues of feminist dialogue and selective activism particularly caused frustration for one respondent:

..I feel like they are living in a strange bubble. Like I said before, they very carefully pick out what they want to talk about. If you are an intersectional feminist, for instance, you have this motto of yeah, we speak for the justice of all people and particularly of those who are most vulnerable, but if you look more closely, they are extremely selective. . .I don’t understand why we don’t talk about the most gruesome issues in equality. Not at all. Some people have even sent me a DM like “Why do you speak about forced marriage. . .you might provoke the racists.” And they are real feminists like you see everywhere: an intersectional feminist. I don’t know how to

communicate with them.

Notably, such criticism is contrasting to the image of neoliberal feminism in the light of Ferguson’s (2017, p. 231) argument according to which neoliberal feminism relies on conflict avoidance and “getting along”. One could also argue that it diverges from Fraser’s (2013) portrayal of neoliberal emphasis on individual choice over criticism. Rather, it demonstrates a legitimate evaluation and critical examination of an ideology. Amelia further regarded this moment in feminist history as a transition phase, which is why self-observing and critical thinking was deemed to have particular importance.

Altogether, self-observation played a large role in the interviewees’ views. Also related to self-observation was the topic of stereotypes and roles, which generated a great deal of conversation in participants. In the next section, the connection between self- observation and stereotypes and roles is examined further.