WORDS BOB HENDERSON
[print]
WorldMags.net
WorldMags.net
90
gaytimes.co.ukExcuse us, we’re off to book tickets and dig out a backpack and water bottle…
Daydream over, we move on to intergenerational relationships. They’ve always been a part of gay culture, as the daddy/son dynamic has played out from Greek mentors to the oily fantasies of Tom of Finland. And there’s certainly a more accepting renaissance in the publicity of high profile relationships like Elton John and David Furnish, or more recently Tom Daley and Dustin Lance Black. The mere mention of the latter send Armistead into a fit of laughter.
“I love the fact that Lance Black is supposed to be the older man – he looks like he’s 12! He’s 39, I really had to laugh when that became a scandal…”
But that’s the point we were making. It’s not really been a scandal, apart from the obvious knee-jerk reactions from the predictable places.
“A lot of people have been quite ugly about it on the gay comment boards,” he says while we nod and murmur in acknowledgement of queeny behaviour.
“Bitter, secret queens, sitting at home, hating the fact that those two are getting together.”
To be fair though, if you’re going to be Tom Daley’s boyfriend, it doesn’t matter who you are – you’re going to get shit for it. In retrospect we realised the only person Tom Daley could date and get more shit for it than his boyfriend would be Justin Bieber. And that’s a parallel universe we’re not too keen to inhabit.
We’re trying to talk about hot intergenerational relationships and Armistead throws us another amazing story. Packed full of his completely unconscious, totally natural name dropping. It’s not so much he waves his gay card around in your face, as simply wears it on his sleeve.
“I know Lance and like him very much, I’m really happy for him and
for Tom. Plus, he invited me to the set of Milk when James Franco and Sean Penn were doing their kiss on the curb. Lance Black told David Letterman that realising I was there made him nervous. I don’t know what he thought I was going to do – run in and say ‘Stop! You’re doing it wrong! That’s not the way to kiss a man!’ It made me twinge a little bit, but I wasn’t critical.”
Between Milk and the complete Tales of The City enterprises (the hugely popular TV series, and a musical penned by Jake Shears), they can’t have done much more for the gay tourist board of San Francisco.
“I wish I had a nickel for every person who’s said ‘I moved to San Francisco because of you’. I know that with a certainty and it makes me very happy.”
When you’re faced with the friendly, snowy-lipped father figure of Mr Maupin, it’s hard not to start oversharing. We ask for some relationship advice, or as he puts it, ‘how to put up with an old geezer’. “It’s our job not to be insecure if we’re lucky enough to have a younger partner. But I have those thoughts around Chris, although it’s easier now that he’s 42 and I’m 69. We’ve been in it for ten years so now we have something of value, with any luck it’s going to last. It’s easier to get more panicked as you get older about that. If you’re with someone who loves you, you can feel it most of the time and you should relish it. Because it’s not all that common. People are paired off, but love has less to do with it than other conveniences.”
Armistead is so in love with his boyfriend that he married him. Twice. Is marriage reassuring, then?
“No, because divorce is as possible as breaking up,” he chuckles. “I don’t feel like I’ve locked him down if that’s what you mean. And we have an open relationship, so I think a long term relationship has a better chance bushes for dick’. No it wasn’t! It was
terrifying and oppressive and a little bit shame making.”
We’ve gone off topic, as our conversation often does. You could sit down and fire names at Armistead and be entertained for days. From cruising, we steer back to the starstruck element.
“I met Susan Sarandon at Ian’s house the other night,” he says off- handedly. The Ian he’s referring to so casually is the aforementioned McKellen one. “That kind of got to me. She was sitting on the sofa and there was a spare place so I sat down and we talked about a gay man that she once had a lovely, romantic, sexual affair with. She’s very open, [an] interesting person. But I wasn’t starstruck – in the sense that I was thrilled to meet Susan Sarandon but I didn’t feel like I was any less than her, so I was able to talk to her.”
Sadly, we aren’t here to fire names at him all day. There’s this book, The Days of Anna Madrigal. That we keep saying wrong, adding “last” into the title. (*klang!* “Yeah, my friend Patrick Gale keeps doing that”). Though we’re keeping our promise not to give too much away, we can talk about Burning Man, the radical counter-culture festival held in the desert end of Nevada. Armistead writes with a cynical observing eye, which is handy as we still can’t read – or write – the name of this festival without hearing Jeff from American Dad elongate the final vowel. Armistead’s been twice (with hubby) and although not planning to throw himself into the dusty planes this year, is already recruiting for 2015.
“Ian [McKellen] was staying at Peter Jackson’s house, that was big enough for a whole fraternity of gay men. So I stayed with him, and while I was there we talked about Burning Man. I can see Ian there quite easily and he was pumping me about it as he read the novel. So it’s quite possible that we’ll take him next summer.”
WorldMags.net
WorldMags.net
91gaytimes.co.uk
LEFT OLYMPIA DUKAKIS PLAYING MRS MADRIGAL IN THE TV ADAPTATION OF TALES OF THE CITY
of surviving under those rules, because nobody feels really cramped and secrecy, deceit doesn’t creep into the equation.”
After giving us some tips on our own relationship, we can’t convince Armistead to take up a career in giving advice.
“I’m still sorting those things out myself, don’t you worry… I have to remind myself at least twice a day not to fret. I’m lucky that I’m with a guy that’s very loving and direct and I never have a moment where I feel like I’m asking far more from him or him from me. If anything it’s…” he lets out another hearty laugh, “it’s easier for the old to let down the young by not being energetic enough.”
We take a moment to absorb that. “If you follow me…”
We’re familiar with euphemisms about fucking, and keep things on the advice level. Does Armistead have a therapist?
“No.” And then in a heartbeat he deadpans, “Mrs Madrigal.”
“I did years ago, I had one for about six months, years ago, and I went in one day and told him one extra thing about my partner at the time and he looked at me and said ‘he’s leaving you’. And I said ‘WHAT?’ ‘Everything you’ve told me for the last six months indicates that he’s leaving you.’ And he was right. I didn’t have to go back.”
We’re wrapping things up and preparing to part ways, almost ending the conversation on scabies and crabs (not for advice). Instead we opt for the observation that everyone should be more open about their failings.
“I think it’s what the books have always been about for me. I try to record my neuroses as much as possible and then you find that a lot of people identify. You feel less alone and they feel less alone and they think you’re terribly brave for having mentioned it.” Q
The Days of Anna Madrigal is out now, armisteadmaupin.com, @armisteadmaupin
[print]
WorldMags.net
WorldMags.net
WorldMags.net
WorldMags.net
Until 22 March Is it hot men in not many clothes you want? We can do that. Kings of the Dance is an acrobatic extravaganza performed by the sort of hunky types we dream of. Live at the London Coliseum, LW·VEHFRPHZRUOG renowned, so you SUREDEO\VKRXOGQ·W miss it. Eno.org Q
Until 5 April Adolescence: those ZHWGUHDPÀOOHG testosterone fuelled ÀQDOGD\VRILQ nocence. Oh, to be young again. Chew LQJ*XP²WKDW·V the play – brings all the memories ÁRRGLQJEDFNIRO lowing one teen girl through the trials of boys, sex and, well, more boys. Nationaltheatre. org.uk Q
Until 5 May Brotherly love can be a strong bond. Even stronger if WKH\·UHWZLQV²DQG you know how we like twins. In the Vale of Health tells the story of two extraordinary broth ers whose parents die unexpectedly, leaving them with a life of insepa rable paranoia. Hampsteadtheatre. com Q 26 March – 21 June From Downton Abbey to Doctor Who, great British drama is so quiche right now. Another Country is the quintessential English tale of two public school ER\VZKRÀQG themselves in the midst of a summer scandal. A scandal that goes on to rock Britain. Atgtickets.com Q 10 April – 31 May Privacy. Many of us surrender it these days, between Twit ter, Facebook and that orange Argos catalogue of boys. 7KDW·VDOOEHIRUH the government sift through it all for national secu rity. Privacy tells the tale of how our private parts are no longer private. Donmarwarehouse. com Q